Bendigo's Rage

Summer Days

2011-08-29T08:44:00.000-07:00

Summer is supposed to be a nice time when you can get together with family and friends and enjoy a barbecue or a ball game with some ice cream and an iced tea (or a beer). It's about enjoying the ability to be outside and doing things when everybody has a little break from stuff.

OK so not many people get a break during the summer from work, but it is a time when the kiddos are off school so they get to complain that there is nothing to do all summer long until the last week. Then they find about 100 things to do and complain on the night before school starts again that the summer went by too dang fast.

I've noticed an unfortunate part of my end of summer days. It's the anniversary of many friends and family that have passed on. To say that it leaves me with a feeling of melancholy is sometimes an understatement. I realized that as I'm getting older the list of people I've said goodbye to is growing (and much too quickly).

On the all powerful facebook I saw a friend from a post remembering a friend of ours that passed some 21 years ago. It was followed by a post from one of his friends talking of a friend that passed within days of that person but 2 years later. This was followed by another and another. I didn't realize it until I was reading that post that I knew about 10 people that have passed within a few days of each other and a dozen years apart.

That of course got me to thinking of other friends I've lost over the years. Not to mention family. I'm from an Italian family and one thing we know how to do is well have big families. Many memories are of older relatives from my childhood. They would all sit around at my cousins house for a family get together eating pasta and arguing. Looking back it was a wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

It also got me to thinking about all the things left unsaid between me and my friends and family that have passed. I am fortunate that my list is not all that long, but nonetheless there are regrets for comments not made (and even for a few made in haste).

The only point I have to this rambling post is remember that our time is short and it's precious. Use it wisely and never take any of it for granted. I received a sharp reminder of that from a simple post this morning and I will make sure I'm talking to mom and dad today. Funny how it doesn't take much to get us moving in the right direction.

Weekends At The Beach!

2011-08-09T22:05:00.000-07:00

I've decided I like the fact that we aren't having a devastating summer here in California. It's been fairly mild compared to most of the country. We haven't had that many days over a hundred and now entering the "hottest" part of our summer I was ready for the heat wave to begin.

Our heat wave consisted of 6 days over 100 and only 2 of them hit 107. For the Central Valley that is a laugh. We are used to many days strung together over 100 and many of them reach the 110 mark. This year wasn't that way and I decided that even though it wasn't devastating here in the valley, the coast would still be nicer so we headed to Santa Cruz for the weekend to visit with the rest of my family as they were enjoying their vacation (Work has been so hectic we didn't get a proper vacation).

So thankfully the day we left town it was about 104 and I was looking forward to the comparative cool that was sure to come when we got over the Hill. I wasn't disappointed. Not more than an hour and a half from home the temperature dropped to a beautiful 68 degrees with a nice little breeze blowing. It was perfect with the sun shining and all. Perfect beach weather and we hadn't even reached the beach yet.

another hour of driving and we showed up at mom and dad's vacation house. This was the view I got to enjoy for 3 days (was supposed to be only 2).

We didn't need to go anywhere or do anything as far as I was concerned. The kids felt otherwise so we got to take a few trips to the boardwalk and the pier. All in all it was a great time and I can see how just a short break can really recharge the batteries.

The boys had an awesome time so now I just have to figure out a way to get a job that takes me this way on a regular basis. I could really get to like this coastal life.

Softball update..We totally sucked last week and got slaughtered, but hey we have out whole team back this week so it's game on now!!

The 40 Something Ball Player

2011-08-02T22:17:00.001-07:00

Well I noticed that I still have some followers so that means one of two things have happened. One you were waiting patiently for my return to see if I had anything else to say or two you were too lazy to stop following. Regardless of the reason, you are still here so I figured I could drop in myself.

Well at last post my son was playing baseball. He had a pretty decent season and he truly enjoys the game as much as dad (thank you God). We took 2nd place and that's pretty decent. Lost the championship game but the boys played their hearts out. Just wasn't meant to be this time. He is already enrolled in Fall Ball and excited as can be to get started.

I figured that I was done with my ball playing days. After all I'm almost 44 and broken down to the nth degree. What could I possibly have to prove? I figure that by now if there is something I haven't accomplished on the ball field it's just not gonna happen. So what keeps dragging my sorry old butt out there to play again? I am gonna go with ignorance. My friends tell me that it's just my first love and I can never let it go completely (that's why they made the Wii).

So a co-worker tells me about this co-ed league he is in and he says "you'll love it, it's really low key and everybody just hangs out after the games. We are just there for a little fun, nothing too serious." I'm thinking that is just for me. No serious running and no serious attitude. I forgot this is me and I'm not made that way. I play to win, regardless if it's co-ed, men's league, little league, or eventually nursing home league. I don't like to lose and I especially don't like to lose because of something I did.

First sign that this wasn't gonna be so good. The second practice we had. I realized that I still have the ability to play and as I get older I can hit the ball much further and harder than in the past (could be the extra 25 lbs.) I'm enjoying myself to no end on the field just fielding grounders and hitting the ball to the fence and then disaster struck. I come flying around (trotting) 3rd base and hit the base wrong. There goes the hammy. No big deal though, it was just a slight pull and I let up when I felt it. No real damage done. Next at bat I crushed it ( I really did) and as I'm admiring the shot down third base line as it heads for the fence I ....fall on the way to first base. Apparently everybody but me was focusing on the first base line and I tripped...down I go. Hurt the hammy a bit more, but even worse the knee is swollen like the softball I just hit. I'm relagated to 1st base in the field and a courtesy runner if I'm lucky enough to limp to first after hitting it.

Nobody really laughed at me when that happened (not to my face at least). It only took me 3 weeks to recover from something that used to take 3 days. but hey I'm still walking and I've decided that I have to come to grips with the fact that I'm not 25 anymore. I've learned to hit far and run slow. I've also learned that infield is not that bad after all even for an old outfielder. We are doing pretty good, and I'm thinking that if I can just keep from falling down anymore I might even try this again next year.

On a side note. My dad is doing really well since his transplant. My parents went on vacation last week to Santa Cruz and my dad was able to walk up and down the hills without any problems whatsoever. In fact I had more difficulty than he did. Of course I didn't tell him that and I sure didn't let on that it was killing me to walk a step ahead of him all the while telling the old man to hurry it up.

so 7 more weeks of softball and I'm keeping my fingers crossed. If I get up the nerve I'm gonna take a couple of pictures of a game. That should be good for a laugh for anybody who looks at it.

Play ball!!

What Matters Most?

2011-03-01T20:30:00.000-08:00

It's coming on that time of year again....

BASEBALL!!!! I'm gonna see my first love once again. Baseball was the first thing I found in my life that made me forget about my appetite, made me forget about the TV. It made me forget homework, school work, girls, cars, and everything in between. Am I a fan of any team? Sure, but I'm not the true armchair fan that some are. I'm a fan of the GAME. Little League, High School, College, or Pro I could care less. I will go watch softball as quickly as I'll go watch a pro game.

My youngest son decided that he was going to play this year and I can't even put into words how excited I was to hear that he was going to give it a shot. He played T-Ball for a few years and was pretty bored with it but because he is so dang small we were a bit nervous about him playing last year. This year he wouldn't be restrained and we relented. He is doing fine and as far as athletic ability goes, he has more than enough. So now my quandry begins.

He was picked by a team here in town. The coach is a fellow who has never played the game before. His son is playing and he wanted to be involved. I say great. So he has a couple other people helping him and they didn't play either. There is one woman out there that played ball and she seems to know what to do, but it's very hard for one person to go around helping everybody.

I coached and managed baseball and T-ball for many years. We won a few championships along the way too. More importantly my players almost all played ball at high school and a dozen or so played college. We even had one get to AA ball. I always felt that the important thing was to develop their love for the game and the rest comes after that. if you don't appreciate it, you don't have the drive to get better. You have to want to play to become a player.

So enter my son's coach. Non-player coach is trying. I give him credit for stepping out on the field to try this. It's never easy to go outside your comfort zone. He is definitely not in that comfort zone. He is reading books and watching video to get ideas for coaching tips. I've decided to stay out of it and just cheer my son on. Tonight that became very difficult. We have gone to the batting cage or played ball in the backyard and the ball park for years. I've pitched to the boys for a good long time and have always shown them the proper way to hold a bat, how to stand and how to use their lower body to generate some power. Tonight my son was given a different batting stance and a different way to hold the bat. It looked awkward and he did poorly. I understand that it's the first time he tried it, but it's wrong and I admit I was tempted to say something. I zipped my lip and let him try it the way the coach said.

After practice I spoke with my son about the way he batted and he informed me that it was the way the coach told him to hit. His coach said this would help him see the ball better and some other crap that I disagreed with. I asked my boy if he liked it and he said no. I explained to him what the new stance he was in was (open stance) and I also explained to him why some pro players use that stance. He then explained to me that he wasn't a pro and wanted to know why the coach had him stand that way. I opened a can of worms without really trying to. I told my boy to give it one more try in practice and this weekend we would try it, but if it doesn't work for him he doesn't have to keep using it.

My quandry....What is the most important part of baseball? Is it learning the fundamentals? Is it learning the love of the game? Is it just to get out their and try your best? I think it's all of the above. Unfortunately I think that coaches who try to coach without understanding the game do a great disservice to those kids they are trying to teach. If you want to help out I think that's great, but if you don't know what you are doing don't offer to run a team. And shame on the league for letting somebody with absolutely no knowledge of the game having control of a team. Let them be assistants, but don't let them run it.

Time will tell how the season will go. I just hope at the end of the day my son still has an appreciation for this great great game. A bright spot has been my middle son has found a little spark of interest in ball again as well. Fingers are crossed that when the season tryouts open for his age group he will decide that he wants to give it another shot.

I don't care if my kids are ever great ball players. I do care if they like the game or not. I want to be able to sit down and watch a game with the boys and have a good ol' fashioned argument about if the runner should steal of if the guy was out at third. That can only happen if they, like me decide that this is a pretty great game. I just worry that a few bad experiences at a young age could wipe out that possibility.

Little League Here We Come!!!!

Overwhelming

2011-02-15T20:25:00.000-08:00

I made mention of the fact that my father was in need of some serious medical help a while back. He was on the list for a lung transplant. A double lung transplant actually. Three months had gone by with not much information and hope was fading fairly fast for him. Not that he was getting worse physically but his state of mind was not good. He was more and more worried that he wasn't going to get that call.

Well this past weekend he got that call. They called Friday night and told him to get up to the hospital as soon as possible. For my parents that is about a 3 hour drive. I was called and they left. I showed up the next morning and spoke with pop briefly. He seemed more relaxed than any of us and I figured that since he only had to worry about himself and nobody else he was finally able to be at a little peace. The doctors told him that they would operate that afternoon, then they told him late that night. He told me that it was definitely unsettling to realize that he was essentially waiting for someone else to die so that he would have a chance to live. It put a different perspective on this whole procedure to be sure. Not that we didn't understand that going in, it's just that when it comes down to it, you have to come to grips with it.

Late Saturday night the procedure was started and about 6 in the morning the surgeon came out (one of the surgeons) to tell us that the procedure was successful and he already had more strength in his new lungs than he did in the old ones. A collective sigh of relief went up from all of us at that simple fact. Then we were given all the other info, but truth be told I didn't listen to it all. I was just happy with the fact that my father had made it through the first stage of his fight. The rest would come in due time and we would be there for him.

The next couple of days were stressful for us as well as him. He is doing well so far, but we understand this is just the earliest of stages for him and the real work is yet to come. He has a a handful of pills a day to look forward to for the rest of his life and compared to the alternative that is not a bad thing.

I spoke with pop for a little bit when he was still in ICU and he told me that he didn't know how to feel about this "gift" he had received. He understood that the person who donated the lungs was a fairly young person and that gave him pause and he told me he didn't know how much he wanted to know. It was a little bit of guilt that he was feeling and although I didn't totally understand (how could I) I still got the sense of where he was coming from. I tried to explain to him that yes he did recieve this at somebody else's expense but he didn't cause what happened to them. Our whole family are set up as donors and someday if I meet an untimely end somebody else may be able to benefit from what I can leave behind as well.

I'm just amazed that we have technology that allows my family to keep my father around for a while longer. However long that may be is not important. It feels like we have been given a second chance and I for one am more than grateful.

To the family that lost their loved one all I can say is know that from your tragedy something good came. I'm so very sorry for your loss, but I'm so very thankful for what I received. The feeling is truly overwhelming.

So we begin our plans for the next three months and hope that pop will respond to all the treatments as well as he has to everything else so far. The man is pretty stubborn and resilient for 64 years old.

If you have an inside track with the man upstairs throw a good word in for pop, and throw another in for the generous soul who had the forsight to realize that in their tragedy they could offer up hope to another family who had none.

Back by Popular Demand??

2011-01-26T18:49:00.000-08:00

Ok, so maybe not popular demand, but nonetheless some form of demand. My break from the blogging world has been self imposed but not something I've particularly enjoyed.

I've been enjoying some time playing Mr. Mom as my son is still involved in his wrestling. I have to say that he gets beat a lot, but I have yet to see him get down on himself for losing. Everybody talks about being a good sport and this kid IS.

He is farily new to the game so that makes it a bit easier for him to handle defeat, but it's more than that and it's more than I can take any credit for. He understands that it's competition. Sometimes you win sometimes you lose, but in the end you are testing yourself against all comers.

A couple of weeks ago we were at a wrestling competition and he drew the best kid in the division for his first match. I didn't know how he would handle it. He has lost to this kid before, and in all fairness everybody else has lost to this kid as well. I asked him if he remembered the boy he was getting set to wrestle. His response...."Duh!" I took that as a yes and asked him what his strategy was. Pretty simple stuff coming from a nine year old really. "I'm gonna try to pin him. If I can't do that I'm gonna try and score a ton of points early, and if that doesn't work, I'm gonna try not to get pinned." I thought that was pretty sound strategy. He went out for his match and was pinned in 2 minutes of the first period.

As my son came jogging back up to the bleachers where I was sitting, I got prepared to tell him it was ok, and he would get him next time. All the stuff a parent is supposed to tell their child after a defeat right? His first words to me when he got back were, "I lasted about 30 seconds longer this time so I must be getting better." Enough said. I didn't offer my pitiful cheer up words as I realized he didn't need them. He saw improvement and he was happy with that. It wasn't a huge amount of improvement, but it was some and he figured that it was enough to warrant sticking around with the wrestling thing for a little while longer.

My kids are constantly teaching me things about character. This was just one little example, but there are tons of them and I get a little tidbit on almost a daily basis. By the way, my son's coach texted me on Monday to tell me that the same kid that pinned my boy just got back from Oklahoma where he won nationals in his weight class. So I guess lasting at all was a good thing.

The biggest thing I've been able to bring away from my son being involved in this sport is, he knows what it takes to succeed. He realizes already that to win the war you have to win some battles, but not all of them. He has shown me that perseverance is a key to success. I didn't realize he had it in such quantity but for a little guy he has more than his share. So he keeps plugging away at it, and I keep cheering him on. Wrestling is like a neighborhood community. He has made friends from other towns and schools along the way and now when we show up somewhere they are all off together talking and joking until it's their time to wrestle.

So I'm in sort of unfamiliar territory. I was much more involved in team sports growing up and didn't enjoy wrestling at all. Thankfully I have one son playing tennis and that is at least something I can speak with him about. He even asks advice sometimes on how to play certain shots, and how to deal with different attitudes. It's a pretty awesome feeling to be able to offer some wisdom about something to my kids.

So stay tuned as the next wrestling match is the first weekend of February. I can hardly wait to see how the little one does. I have to admit I'm more excited about what comment he will offer after the fact.

Fairy Tales

2010-11-25T01:27:00.000-08:00

I confess, I believe in God. I am not a good christian boy as I suppose I should be, but nonetheless I still believe. Call it years of reading stories in the bible and hearing stories told by my grandparents as well as the occasional priest. Regardless of what denomination the basic principle is the same. There is an all powerful God who created the world in one manner or another and gave us a body and soul.

I had a conversation some time back with a college student and he told me that I should quit believing in fairy tales. The idea of an all powerful God was ridiculous. Science has the answers I was told. So I pressed a bit to find out what these answers were that I had not been made aware of until I found out that I had indeed been given these answers.....Big Bang Theory... Well Duh...The universe was a big sort of primordial soup and depending on what book you read it began a rapid expansion some 13 billion years ago. So I'm thinking this sounds pretty cool, and now I want to know more. I find out that with the expansion this big soup began to gather clusters of materials together and galaxies and all the other cool stuff was formed (those were not the exact words used, but I'm not smart enough to remember all that scientific talk). Suffice to say that the denser areas of matter attracted yet more matter and there ya go the beginning of the universe.

I told my college student friend that I still believed in God. Why couldn't God have done these things that he was talking about? After all nobody was around 13 billion years ago to see it happen, so we don't really know what started all of this. He told me NO! All things required for the universe were already in place just in a different state than we now recognize them as. The dark matter makes up the majority of matter in the universe. So I asked what dark matter was and he became sort of quiet. He told me that it was hard to explain and it was basically unseen matter. It couldn't be measured or detected except by seeing the reaction of other things in the universe and it was responsible for about 80% of the matter in the universe. I told him that didn't sound very scientific to use something that can't be seen or touched. Cant be measured or described and we want to use it to explain the other 80% of the matter in the universe. I was told that is how theories work. OK fair enough.

I told him that my theory involved one being that was responsible for 100% of the matter in the universe. This being couldn't be seen or touched, measured or described either. I could only measure and detect my unseen matter by it's effect on things around me also. Why is his theory good science and mine is a fairytale. Well he got a little ticked and called me something like "redneck" or "hillbilly" and stormed off. So I'm gonna wait for him to give me an answer. Stay tuned for part 2 if he gets back to me anytime soon.

We are just some superstitious folks. Clinging to our guns and our God. Oh well....

Every Rose Has it's Thorn

2010-11-23T00:40:00.000-08:00

"What is the meaning of life?" is a line from Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. For those of you that haven't seen the movie and have an extra 90 minutes or so of your life to burn I highly recommend it. It's mental vacation if ever a movie was. Bill and Ted get killed by evil robot versions of themselves sent back in time to kill them take over their lives and change the course of history. Well they die and defeat The Grim Reaper himself and earn a chance to come back to life and avenge their wrongful deaths. First they take a short visit to heaven and meet God but before they can enter the Pearly Gates they are asked the question, "What is the meaning of life?" The answer was obvious and they stole a line from a ballad by Poison. "Every rose has it's thorn, just like every night has it's dawn just like every cowboy sings a sad, sad song." Funny how silly things can put so much perspective in your life.

I mentioned that I've attempted Nanowrimo again this year. For those that aren't aware of it that is the month of November when anybody and everybody who wants to writes a 50,000 word "story". I use the word story loosely because it's really an outline. After you are done and the month has ended then you should go back and make your corrections and all the other things you wanted to do. It's basically an outline in a 50,000 word format. So I jumped into it with a passion. Managed up to around 18,000 words and fell flat on my face.

I realize now that I did it to myself. I made excuses why I couldn't write this day or that. I had to take my kids to sports. I had too much work to finish that night, or I had to get up too early the next morning to stay up writing. I find that I do my most creative writing in the dead of night (not necessarily my best writing) and I prefer the early morning hours as in 2 or 3 a.m. to write. There have been a lot of things going on in my life and while I won't bore you with the details I will say that it has been more bad than good lately. So there I sat feeling sorry for myself. Boo hoo hoo poor pitiful me yet again. Then I watched Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey.

It's amazing how those simple words from that song made me think about music. Then that made me go to YouTube and while I didn't stay at Poison for more than the one song I found my self listening to all sorts of music that I had recently just shut off. Canon in D, to Train's Drops of Jupiter. Then I came to my little blog list and the first name I saw was Coach your Mind. Amazing what an inspirational story can do for you. Check them out he has some really amazing stories going on right now.

Every rose does have it's thorn. You want to write then shut up and write. Don't make excuses why you can't or shouldn't. Who cares if anybody else likes it or not. Writing should be for you first and everybody else second. I forgot that if I want the rose I had to deal with the damn thorn on the stem. So I'm going to finish that story now. I only have a week left to write 32,000 words and I don't even feel pressure about it. I KNOW that it's entirely attainable. The other part of that equation would be that all this negative crap I let myself lay under has been holding me back in a variety of ways. Not just writing so that's gotta go. Time for some positive approaches to a whole lot of things. 1% is the goal and if you don't know what that means I really really suggest you check out Coach your Mind.

Stupid movie? Maybe..... Sometimes you don't need a whole lot of nudging to get back on track. In my case it just took Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan and together they are Wyld Stallyns.

A Belated Happy Birthday!

2010-11-11T06:38:00.000-08:00

November 10, 1775 is an exceptional day in history. Not everybody is aware that it is one of the most signicant days in American History. The ultimate fighting force in the world was formed on that day in Tun Tavern Pennsylvania. The United States Marine Corps.

Two meager battalions were made to form a naval infantry. Now the Marine Corps is the ultimate amphibious fighting force in the world. We are a small group but very proud of what we are and more importantly what we have done. If you ever served in the Marine Corps you were taught the rich history and sometimes unbelievable sacrifice many a marine has made on foreign as well as domestic soil.

From the Revolutionary War through Afghanistan. The Marine Corps has been there in any capacity required. "Adapt and overcome" is a cornerstone of the Corps and it is evident when you see a Marine in action that they take that philosophy very serious. First to fight, we never back down from a good scrap.

Many people don't agree with military action. Many people don't agree with U.S. involvement in a lot of places. That sometimes means that many people disagree with the military. Just remember a Marine does this most dangerous of jobs without a big paycheck or any noteriety. They do it, because they believe they are helping to make the world a safer place. They do it, because everybody needs somebody fighting in their corner sometime. If you haven't yet, go hug a Marine today and thank them for wanting to protect you. It's fitting that today is Veteran's Day and while I am thankful for all Veterans and what they did to preserve my way of life, I am most thankful for the United States Marine Corps. I have been out of the service since 1994, but anytime I see a Marine I see a brother or sister. I know that just like it was when I served they are still there willing to make the sacrifice to protect me and my family.

Happy Birthday USMC, and to all you Veterans out there. THANK YOU!!!!

In my day this was our creed as a Non-Commissioned officer...

"I am the backbone of the United States Marine Corps, I am a Marine Non-Commissioned Officer. I serve as part of the vital link between my commander (and all officers) and enlisted Marines. I will never forget who I am or what I represent. I will challenge myself to the limit and be ever attentive to duty. I am now, more than ever, committed to excellence in all that I do, so that I can set the proper example for other Marines. I will demand of myself all the energy, knowledge and skills I possess, so that I can instill confidence in those I teach. I will constantly strive to perfect my own skills and to become a good leader. Above all I will be truthful in all I say or do. My integrity shall be impeccable as my appearance. I will be honest with myself, with those under my charge and with my superiors. I pledge to do my best to incorporate all the leadership traits into my character. For such is the heritage I have received from that long, illustrious line of professionals who have worn the bloodstripe so proudly before me. I must give the very best I have for my Marines, my Corps and my Country for though today I instruct and supervise in peace, tomorrow, I may lead in war."

I for one was happy to serve and I know that my brothers and sisters in the service are happy to serve as well...

Semper Fidelis

Thank you come again

2010-10-09T00:05:00.000-07:00

Do you remember as a kid going to a restaurant that didn't involve a number to order? You could get a steak or a pasta without saying "Give me the #2 large." The waitress was usually friendly and if you were a little guy like I was she would wink at you after you placed your order. The tables were clean and there were about 10 other families in the restaurant enjoying a meal and enjoying the comfortable, friendly atmosphere of the restaurant.

Then came our fast food joints. Now when Mcdonalds first came to our town I was a little boy. There weren't any value meals back then, but you could get a burger, fries and a drink in around 5 minutes. It was very cool and the only difference between the restaurant and Mcdonalds was the food was served faster. See at first you didn't stand at the counter to get your food. It used to be that you ordered and when your meal was ready a worker from behind the counter came and brought you your burger. She (not many he's back then) smiled at you just like the other waitress and sometimes she would wink at you too (if you were a little guy). Everything was please and thank you and the place was clean enough to eat off the floor.

Time moved on and things got faster and faster. Pretty soon it was a drive-thru. Great idea for a fast world. You can just pull up to the window outside the restaurant and order. It took about 3 minutes now to get a burger, fries and a coke. Pretty darn good if you were working two jobs and only had time to wolf down a quick meal between jobs. The gal at the window was still friendly and smiled at you. She even still said please and thank you with a come again thrown in there. Now she was winking because you weren't such a little guy anymore.

THEN came the value meal. You didn't have to be bothered with asking for a burger, fries and a coke. Now it was a #1 with a coke. This took about the same amount of time, but you didn't have to actually talk to the person behind the counter anymore and they didn't have to talk to you all that much either. Now you might get a thank you, but the come again was thrown out the window. Well at least the restaurant was still clean.

Now we are at today. There are value meals at just about anyplace you eat. That includes the sit down restaurant where you aren't required to dress up. I don't think the fancy restaurant has degraded to a meal # status yet. You can get it supersized or not, and you don't have to tell them what you want to drink if you go in. They don't make your drink anymore, and if the person behind the counter even looks up at you once you are amazed. There is no please, no thank you and there is no come again. They know that you are going to choose one grease house or another and there is a good chance you will choose theirs again because you are in a hurry and the kids have to be to practice in a few minutes or your appointment ran long and there isn't time before your next class to make something to eat. The restaurant is no longer clean, the garbage cans are no longer dumped regularly. the floors get swept twice a day. In the morning before the days starts and the night before the crew goes home. Counter tops are cleaned upon request not when somebody leaves the table. After all if they had somebody in there just cleaning up they would have to pay 50 or 60 dollars a day for that. Can't cut into the bottom line like that.

Nothing is personal any longer. Everything is automated and rushed. We are all running around as fast as we can to get to the next goal for our day. We don't even bother to slow down and enjoy getting to our goal today. We don't bother to talk to the people around us anymore, because after all they don't really look like they want to talk to us. We allow the worker in the store or restaurant to be rude and unprofessional because we don't want to "waste" the time complaining to a boss that will probably do nothing about it anyway. We don't correct the worker when they make a mistake in our favor because we figure they have ripped us off plenty of times in the past.

Maybe if we slowed down just a little bit and actually smiled at the person next to us and said Hi. Maybe if we took the time to tell the manager of that store that this is the 4th time the cashier has been rude and unprofessional and if something isn't done we won't be shopping there any longer. Maybe if we gave that extra 45 cents back to the cashier next time they would return the favor when an error is made against us as well. Maybe I'm just getting older and starting to realize that things are far more crappy than they once were in my opinion. We have a ton more toys and gadgets but we traded those things for conversation and companionship. I think we just might have gotten the bad end of this deal.

Tennis is a Mental Sport!

2010-09-21T10:26:00.001-07:00

My son is on the tennis team for middle school (Jr. High for those of us over 30). He was really excited about playing tennis because I played tennis in high school. He wasn't so excited about playing baseball after he got plastered by a pitch when he was 7 so we moved on to other sports and tennis is something I think he has some great potential in. He needs to be a little more driven but hey, he's 12 and girls and video games are still a priority in his mind.

I go out to the court with him and we do some exercises that I remember doing as a youngster to help develop diffrent aspects of his game. I have to admit his mental game is pretty strong, so I'm thinking the rest should be much easier. The problem is at this point he is pretty sucky. It's not his fault. I can only work with him a limited amount of time and I've come to find out that his "coach" is merely that in name. My son doesn't even know his coach's name because the guy never gave it to the kids. He is supposed to be a tennis player, but yesterday I went to my sons match to watch. Half of the kids didn't know how to score a match. They didn't know which side to serve from, they didn't understand when to switch sides, and they didn't understand how to play doubles. This is half of the kids. The other half understood but totally sucked at this game.

I was never a great player, but I was better than average. I didn't have the drive to be great. It was fun for me, but I didn't take the sport seriously enough to make it my focus all the time. It's not something I regret. I still enjoy the game and I'm sure that's because I never made it a job. I don't want my son to make it a job either, but I want him to see progress and this "coach" does the team a disservice. He seems to think that coaching is merely having the kids hit forehands all day at practice and standing outside the court clapping when they play (lose every single match).

Out of 9 matches yesterday, my son's team won 1 game. For those of you that don't play tennis a set consists of 6 games. At this level they only play a single set each. Sooooo we could break that down as 54-1.....I know winning isn't everything but come on seriously....how about being competitive....So we shall see how tomorrow's match goes...I'm hoping for 2 games won this time...

Don't know if I mentioned but my dad's biopsy came back clear...WOOHOO!! So we move on to see what the docs at Stanford have to say about it....Fingers and toes are still crossed, but it's looking better and better for the home team on that front.

I have been safe from the HIYAA!! Since my little one developed an infection on his toe. He informed me that his kicking would have to wait until said toe is "uninfected daddy". Then he has explained to me how he will make up for all lost kicks. So at least at tennis time I will be able to breathe without any bruising on the ribs to make it difficult or uncomfortable. Lord help me make through this week :)

HIYAAA!!!!

2010-09-15T23:22:00.000-07:00

Have I ever mentioned that I'm a glutton for punishment? I'm sure at some point I brought it up. I have further proven to myself that I enjoy being given the beat down at least from time to time.

Case in point. My youngest son wanted to join karate. He begged, pleaded, promised and pouted until we relented (which was fairly quickly). So he is learning to be courteous first. I thought what a great idea. To teach the children manners and to respect others is a big deal for me. So I was rather proud of my little one when the instructor offered up praise for how courteous my little one is already. "We will not have to teach your child manners. He learned them and applies them. Nice job dad!"

Ok I admit it, I might have been beaming with pride just a little bit. So we get home and he holds the door open for me (which is not something he normally does). I have not even really sat down when he asks if we can practice just a little bit of what he learned. I figure sure no problem. They were working on please and thank you for most of the hour, so how hard can it be. He then explained to me that they learned a kick and a punch. I'm thinking this is looking up. Only one punch and one kick. He should only be able to do them about 10 or 15 times each before he is tired and then I can watch Warehouse 13 and relax for a few minutes.

So the kicks come and so do the punches. After each and every one is a gut wrenching HIYAAA!!! My ears hurt far more than my arms did after this exercise. I thought for sure I had survived day one of karate until my boy told me that he was thinking about it and figured out a way to use his wrestling with his karate. A demonstration was in order of course. First comes the single leg take down (which was done exceptionally well I might add). I fall to the ground like a good practice dummy, but before I can so much as cover up I'm punched in the middle of my chest. The pain was minimal and I was thinking that for a little guy it still hurt quite a bit. That was about the time his kick caught me right about square on the solar plexus. I exhaled for about 7 hours I think. I could not catch my breath and he didn't realize that he had kicked his old man's ass thoroughly. I managed a weak smile and told him (whispered is more accurate) what a great job he did.

The little one runs off to take a shower and get ready for bed. This is about the time I sit down and try to tell my lungs to accept some oxygen. I didn't get much opportunity because here comes middle son (Cameron). He asks if we can practice tennis after school tomorrow (which is now today). Now my boy knows that I played tennis in high school. I have my nice varsity letter to prove it and he is hungry to know more than his coach is teaching him. I of course promised that we would indeed go play. I keep forgetting that I'm not a teenager anymore and I haven't held my weight to 170 lbs since high school.

We went out to the court today with a bucket of balls a few rackets and about that many bottles of water. we warmed up and started to rally. I was thinking how much I suck now that I don't play regular but it wasn't long before the ball was at least thinking of doing what I was asking it to do. I put him through some fairly grueling exercises to get him balanced (and because I'm sadistic a little bit I think). He slowed down a little but managed to keep going. We played a few points and one more long rally before we called it a night. I couldn't help thinking as we walked to the truck that I was pretty satisfied with myself for not falling over dead from exhaustion. We got home and I relaxed for a few minutes before getting up to take that nice relaxing shower. THAT'S when my body explained to me that I'm not a teenager any longer. It also explained to me that even if I was a teenager I better lose some weight if I'm going to keep this kind of ignorant behavior up.

So a shower, some advil, an ice pack and 2 hours later I'm here sharing all of this wonderful stuff with all of you. I get to play karate man again tomorrow with Ethan and then tennis boy one more time tomorrow evening with Cameron. Life is looking up . I'm thinking that maybe Ethan is going to find out what I learned in the Corps tomorrow if he tries another HIYAA!!! kick to the chest on me.

Just a quick update on other stuff going on. I did decide to at least apply for that position out of state. I was a bit reserved but I have a feeling that even if I don't get the position I have put my name out there and they will be absolutely aware of what my abilities are now. I have to admit it took me about 10 minutes to hit the send button.

The other bit of news is that my father goes in tomorrow morning for a biopsy of his lung. If the spot they found turns out to be scar tissue (which is what the doctor has been telling him for years now) then there is a good chance he could be accepted for the donor program. So fingers and toes are crossed at this point.

Since tomorrow is my birthday I have decided that I really only want three things. To survive the HIYAA!!!, to survive the tennis lesson, and for my dad to have an easy time with the procedure. Everything else has taken care of itself so far.

So there you go Momma Fargo, I think break is over for now :) You know I enjoyed that iced tea and all but a Sam Adams sure does sound good right about now. Oh the joys of getting older and feeling those aches and pains soooo clearly.

That's Just Life

2010-08-30T21:27:00.000-07:00

I almost forgot how to make a post on this damn thing. It's been so long it seems since I have managed to get a clear thought in my head.

I've heard the saying "When it rains, it pours." Truly I have felt the weight of that statement before, but I guess I got a case of the poor pitiful me going on. With all the stuff with my dad, I admit I was a bit down in the dumps. Then out of nowhere my dog Paprika passed away suddenly. To make matters worse, my son found her on the patio and he was a bit shaken up to say the least. I buried her at my parents house next to Scooby our other wonderful dog because we bury all of our pets at mom and dads (yeah we are weird). Then the very next day my best buddy Lucky who was Paprika's son died suddenly. We thought for sure it was poisoning and even had a necropsy done. It came back that he had a chronic liver problem that exacerbated. I say they are full of shit. There is no way that a healthy happy active dog goes from jumping around and running one day to dehydrated, anemic and ultimately dead the next. To say that we were shook up is an understatement. We had Lucky cremated and he is on our mantle. I loved those dogs, but Lucky was something special, he was my pal. He could make me smile any time I was near him. At 140 lbs. he was a big lump of fun. Licking and jumping and just happy to be near you and be petted.

I decided that I was just feeling sorry for myself and have tried to do normal stuff again. It's amazing how much of an impact a pet can have on your life, but they were part of the family and will be missed always. I have the two little dogs still and they can sense something is different. They still act the same as they always have and for that I'm thankful. There is no sign of poison in the yard anywhere and I'm going to have to just accept the fact that Lucky and Paprika are gone without a reason being given.

So as I was feeling down and out, I get an email from a manager within our company telling me that there is a job opening out of state for a position that is higher up than mine. Now I'm a little flattered that he would think of me. I have only been back with this company for a little over a year, and for him to consider me a viable candidate means he thinks I know what I'm doing. I wasn't really excited by the prospect of moving 1,000 miles away though, so at this point it's not going to be something I pursue. Then today I get a second email by another manager telling me that I would be a good candidate for this job and I should consider it. Now I'm having second thoughts. It's a good opportunity, but I'm just unsure, so I'm taking a wait and see approach (not the best idea I know). The wife and kids are behind me and tell me to do what I think is right and they will support me. So I guess a little time to digest this won't kill me.

Other than that life goes on. My dad has been getting all of his preliminary testing done and so far everything is looking really good. We are hopeful that the surgical team will consider him a good candidate. Another month or so and we will know for sure. I'm holding out hope, but not expecting too much yet.

It is always a good thing to hop on here and just vent sometimes. Therapy was never cheaper than starting a blog. Pretty soon we will have football and then I'll have plenty to be upset about, but for now I'm gonna stick with real life.

Linkin' Up the Monday Minute

2010-08-01T21:45:00.001-07:00

Well it's been some time since I have been involved in the Monday Minute and I figured this is as good a week as any to get back into the swing of things....

So you know that the originals are found at Ian's blog, but I know there are still one or two people in the blogosphere that haven't read Ian's blog yet...So if you haven't you can find it HERE

Describe your life in one word
Trying

Is there something you wish you had learned how to do as a child?
I wish I would have learned good study habits as a chld. It's funny how something small like that can make such a huge difference on the rest of your life. I had lazy study habits and it showed as I got older and entered more difficult aspects of learning.

Who has been the biggest influence on your life?
My father has shown me how to be a man and a good father, but my mother has more directly influenced me in my life.

What is your greatest dream/hope/aspiration?
for my children to be happy and successful....

and finally...

Do you believe you have reached your potential? Why/why not?
Not even close. I am still learning about myself, I can't possibly have reached my potential if I still don't know what I'm capable of....I figure I'll know the answer for sure on my death bed....

Not Feelin' It............

2010-07-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

I guess I have been caught up in my own little world lately. I'm on the computer mostly for work, and the occasional FB thingy....(can't get away from that for some reason.) Work has unfortunately become just that.....work. I used to enjoy my days, but lately it's just a job and I'm pretty sure it's because of all the rest of the stuff that goes on.

For those that didn't know. My father is not well. He has along with emphezyma, Bronchiectasis. So my parents spent a week in Stanford while they ran tests on him to decide if he would make a good candidate for a lung transplant. It turns out that he very well may make the cut for a double lung transplant. I never thought I would say that I'm happy to hear that my dad could receive something like this.

I've watched him go from being out of breath on occasion, to taking breathing treatments once a day, to now taking breathing treatments 4 times a day while being hooked up to oxygen all the time. To say that it's disturbing is to minimize it. I know that he is feeling sorry for himself, and I try to keep him out of that funk. It's not easy to tell somebody in that shape to quit acting like a baby but I find that as long as we continue to treat him like we always have things seem to be a bit easier. He doesn't like the loss of freedom and I don't blame him one bit. I help where I can without seeming to be too intrusive.

It turns out that they aren't really sure what gave him this. They thought at first it was his smoking. He hasn't smoked in almost 30 years and they thought it was residual damage from that, then they found out that he worked for a chemical company making pesticides back in the 70's. They have concluded that it is more likely this was the cause of this disease.

So now we wait for news from these doctors. It's an odd feeling to wait while you realize that total strangers are getting together to discuss whether your father deserves a chance to live or not. The staff at Stanford has been nothing short of wonderful to my father as well as the rest of my family and for that I'm eternally grateful. They don't treat him like just another patient, they treat him like a friend and I couldn't ask for more.

So here I sit wondering what to do with myself. I decided that maybe this would be a good time to just give a little update and say "I'm still here." Forgive me for the absence, I will continue to try and get here as much as I can. In the meantime I will tell you to make sure that you let your loved ones know what they mean to you. I am lucky because no matter what my father knows that I love him. He knows that because I have the chance to still tell him. I get to still be with him and no matter how much time he has, be it a year or 20, he will always know that.

My hero isn't quite the physical figure he once was, but I find that no matter, he still has the right stuff on the inside. I could only hope to hold up as well as he has so far. All I can say is be strong pop, and don't quit fighting. We are gonna beat this...........

Out of Circulation..Giving the Update......

2010-07-10T23:55:00.000-07:00

It's been an "interesting" month. I thought that things would settle in when I got back from this training last month, but instead they have gone absolutely crazy. I feel like when I try to explain things to the guys at work lately it is more like I'm scolding my children for not cleaning their room. Why do grown men and women play dumb about the most simple task like throwing something in the garbage as compared to dropping it where they stand?

So work is busy, and family is busy. I guess that's a good thing. We are doing "stuff". Not sure if it's all good stuff, but at least we are moving forward. My kids are planning to drive my wife completely crazy I think. They know that they only have 3 months to do it before school starts and things become a bit more normal. I give the boys credit because they are troopers and have come up with some truly inventive ways to make my wife pull her hair out. I try to run interference, but I'm learning that makes me a target so I think that I'll stay out of that one... :)

The biggest thing really going on right now is with my pop. He has bad lungs. He's had this condition for a long time, but recently it's become worse, and they have decided to send him to Stanford and San Francisco to look into the possibility of a lung transplant. To say that he's nervous would be an understatement. I do know that this would be a great thing if they accepted him into the transplant program. Quality of life is something that many of us don't stop and think on. Without it we are just using oxygen (some of us not as much as others). He's not happy, and I think this could be the difference for him. After everything he has sacrificed I think he deserves this (ok, I'm a bit biased on this one). So we are crossing fingers, toes and every other appendage that will cross. If you are into the whole praying thing, PLEASE add my pop to the list.

So I am trying to balance, everything, and obviously my blogging has suffered (that also depends on if you consider my blog worth reading). I think I have it worked out and am trying to get here regular now.

So enjoy the summer ( unless you are on the east coast..yuck heatwave). I hit the beach today and it was a cool 63 degrees with a nice breeze blowing. I could get used to that, unfortunately the beach is a few hours away so we will have to wait for another trip to the water.

California Does Have It's Good Points!

2010-06-23T21:10:00.000-07:00

Well I spent an "interesting" week in Nashville. I learned all sorts of things that I'm pretty sure I won't have many opportunities to use, but it's nice to have the information available to me.

So the plane flight was for the most part uneventful. I do think that the pilot in 3 of the 4 flights had to be a complete novice. They must have been practicing take off and landing on our flights, because it was pretty rough going up and coming down except for the first flight. Now that guy was a true pro and I didn't feel much beyond the surge from the jet taking off (yeah we all liked him the most).

I say I was in Nashville, but I only slept there. I spent my days in a lovely little town called LaVergne (or maybe Smyrna). They seem to run into each other, and I couldn't tell. But it sure was green everywhere.

Downside for us California bred people would be that humidity is our true enemy. That idea was reinforced all week for me. I can't really get used to the idea of getting out of the shower, getting dressed and going outside to feel like I'm just getting out of the shower again. It was horrible to say the least from that side of it. So I think that I will stay in California unless I'm forced to go again. Or at the very least I will pick a dry climate state to visit next time.

Now if I can just find a way to get those prices to migrate to California, I'm set. $2.45/gal for gas is a dream come true. I'm hoping if I do go back that Opryland will be dry and repaired , cause I didn't find a single country star (dang it).

So Lisa Marie I give you much credit for enduring the humidity and not to mention the thunderstorms.

Beautiful place to visit, but I couldn't ever live there.....

Work Beckons

2010-06-13T23:39:00.001-07:00

I was told that I'm going to receive some training this next week. The problem for me lies in the fact that it's in Tennessee. I don't have anything against Tennessee, except for the fact that it's so far from California. I'm not big on flying, and driving is obviously out of the question. So I am STUCK flying.

So I will be gone for a week, and my children are not all that happy about this development. They have told me in the past that I should just find a new job when I started having to work too many hours. So I'm hopeful that this job doesn't turn into another of those types where my kids are feeling like they compete for my time.

I'm a little excited because I get to learn some new things, and I'm definitely a student at heart. Never much of a student in the traditional classroom, but I've always enjoyed learning things in a less than orthodox setting. This week I'll learn how to save people using machinery, and some good ol' fashioned common sense too. I know the chances of me having to use this stuff will be slight, but it's a good feeling to know that it is something I'll be able to use if the need arises. Plus while I'm there, I can play tourist and look for all sorts of country stars :)

So everybody have a good week, and I'll holler when I get back, and maybe I'll even have a story or two about my little trip to Nashville. Take care and remember to be safe :)

The Class of 2010!

2010-06-10T18:57:00.001-07:00

Last night I had the honor of witnessing my nephew graduate from High School. I consider it an honor because in this new world we live in, sometimes family isn't thought of first when it comes to these activities. My nephew saw fit to make sure that my wife and I as well as my 3 sons had tickets to attend.

We listened to the speakers come and go, offering up their take on this graduating class. We were reminded of how much they have grown over their 4 years at high school. The names were called, the diplomas given, and all the friends and family rushed onto the stadium grass (actually astro-turf) to find their son/daughter, sister/brother, friend, relative, and sometimes neighborhood kid who didn't have any family attend. It was quite remarkable to watch the looks on these young adults faces. They didn't show worry over the current state of things, they showed hope, excitement, and determination. It gave me a good feeling to recognize those ambitious qualities in the next graduating class.

I realize that this is merely their first true hurdle. The way things have changed now, you can't get by very often with just a high school education. Some higher learning is required to compete in the business arena in today's world. My nephew is planning on college and for that I'm extremely happy. He realized early on that a college education is necessary.

It all leads me to wonder about my children as they move through school. I have one graduating next year. He wants to be a chef. I am more than happy about that (I love my pasta). I also understand that culinary school is not some fly by night course that you can complete in a week. It's expensive, and it's involved. I have tried to impress that upon his young mind, and I think that most of the time, he understands. It's been his dream since he was about 6 years old, and I'm going to do what I can to see it come true for him.

My younger ones don't speak too much about after high school yet. My middle son is going into 7th grade and he is excited if a bit nervous. My youngest is still in grammar school and has a good deal of time to figure it out (they don't make you give career choices in 4th grade....yet). Regardless of what they decide, I believe that they will make more good choices than bad. They will learn to live with those choices and be stronger because of them.

I watched that in my nephew. He has made his fair share of bad decisions, and he has paid the price for some of them, but he never tried to put them off on anyone else. He owned those mistakes and wore them like a badge of honor. He is truly growing up because he has taken the good and the bad and saw only what needed to be done, not what could have been done, or should have been done. He is finally able to understand that it's not what you could have done that matters, but what you are doing. The plan is laid out in his head and he is following it. No excuses, no complaining, just determined.

I see these young people starting out their lives and I have a renewed feeling.....

It feels like hope...

Congratulations Ryan.....You are a great young man, and I know you are going to do great things with your life. It's men like you that inspire hope in men like me.....

Summertime Blues

2010-06-08T08:43:00.000-07:00

I like the country song by the name. I don't think it really has much to do with the phenomenon of the summertime blues though. The original song (Eddie Cochran)is about teenage trials and tribulations. Funny that part of it deals with the inability of teens to vote. Back in the day here in the U.S. the voting age was 21, but thanks to the 26th ammendment it was dropped to 18.

Ok now that we have our American History lesson out of the way on to the point. Summertime blues are real I'm convinced. I don't think that they belong only to teenagers either. It's a feeling of "blah". Granted kids are more likely to feel the full effect, since they will be constantly telling their parents how there is nothing to do all summer long and they are so bored. Then school will come and they will tell their parents how summer flew by and they were just starting to have a good time. That's the normal cycle of things. How about the adults feeling it? I think that it's a reversal of how kids feel. Many parents feel overwhelmed at summer. The kids are out of school, and many parents are making a mad dash to find a way to watch their kids while still making a living.

So mom or dad have to adjust their schedules as much as possible. They have to call in favors to watch the kids, or if they are lucky enough to have the funds, get a babysitter or daycare. No longer is it acceptable for parents to leave their children home alone. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, I'm just saying that johnny law (the popo) frowns upon it. My 12 year old is I'm sure quite capable of handling any situations that might come his way, but in today's world of home invasions I wouldn't even consider it an option. I like many other parents will call in favors and adjust my schedule, my wife will adjust hers and we will fumble and fall through summer.

In today's economy, two incomes are in most cases necessary. That means we do what we have to do. Some of us will take lesser jobs so that we are still getting a check and still able to watch our kids. Some will work out a deal with their employers and get "laid off" for the summer and draw unemployment. Not many options are available and most parents are resourceful enough to find everything available anywhere near them.

It makes me remember back to my childhood a little bit. As a young boy we had a day camp at our local school. High School kids looking for extra money would be "counselors" at the elementary schools. They would have games and activities, like arts and crafts, or if we were really lucky a movie reel on really hot days to watch a movie. There were usually about 10 High School students and there were roughly 75 or 80 of us at day camp. It was a good time, and even the counselors had fun much of the time. The school district doesn't budget for things like that anymore. I can't blame teen kids for not volunteering for it either. They are trying to figure out how they are going to pay for college, or gas, or any other multitude of things that mom and dad can't pay for them anymore.

So let Summer begin, and next week, let the full on effect of the Summertime Blues be here. I'm feeling it sneaking up on me, but I know that come mid August things will fall back into some sort of normal. Just like the song says....

"Sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do cause there ain't no cure for the Summertime Blues."

50 years later it's still true................

Welcome to My World!

2010-06-05T01:31:00.000-07:00

One day while Ian and I were trading remarks back and forth via email, I made the comment "Welcome to My World!" He immediately replied and told me that would be a great title for a post. He even gave me some really solid ideas on what to post about. So I think that today is fitting for a glimpse into My World!

My world basically revolves around my family....My boys are constantly doing or saying something that keeps me thinking, or blushing, or pulling my hair out. I understand that it's their job to put dad into an early grave, and I have to say that normally they do a pretty good job. Now usually it's my two younger boys that come up with the questions that make you go Hmmm? (remember Arsenio?) Not today though. Today it was my 17 year old.

He and I had a discussion about this new federal law that will allow same sex couples to have the same benefits as hetero couples. It's all a crock though. It is really the federal government saying that if you are unmarried and together you can have the benefits of a married couple because they extended those same benefits to unmarried straight couples too. That's not the point of the story though.

I asked my son what he thought about it. He explained to me that he doesn't see why anybody would need to get married anymore. I felt that this was a prime opportunity for me to impart some fatherly advice on my oldest. So I asked if he thought marriage was just to get benefits. "Of course not" he said. "It's also for tax purposes." Jaw dropped. I asked him if it had anything to do with love or God? "I guess so for some people, but most people just want the perks dad." My first reaction was to tell him how wrong he was. My second reaction was to think about it before telling him how wrong he was. It forced me to take a good hard look at my own marriage. I have always believed I am in love with my wife. Not for a second did I get married to get a tax break, or better benefits. I had to be fair though and look at my relationship objectively. So I asked oldest son if he thought that was why I got married? "Don't be dumb." (aren't kids great when they are being honest?) He proceeded to tell me that he didn't know why I ever married his mom, but he was sure that's not why I married his step mom. So after controlling my laughter I pressed on.

We went through the list. My parents, his aunts, his other grandparents, even my in-laws. He told me no at every turn. That was about the time the lights clicked on for him I think. He hadn't made the remark personal enough when he made it, but after he looked at his family he realized that maybe there are some people that get married for the "right" reasons. I was pretty proud of myself and gave a mental pat on the back for my ability to guide this young mind in the right direction.

As he was getting ready to leave, I asked him if he would ever consider marrying for anything but love. As he walked out the door he told me "No way." Then about ten steps later as he was rounding the flowerbed to head to the street he turned around and said, "Well maybe if she's rich." I took the mental pat back and just shook my head. Welcome to my world........

Awards are Awesome!

2010-06-02T12:09:00.000-07:00

I love getting an award. I'm usually immediate in my response to them as well. In case you haven't noticed lately my blogging has been a bit erratic at best. So I'm terribly sorry to Momma Fargo and Ms. Anthropy for my lazy (that's right I am lazy) attitude about this. I have not taken the time to accept and thank these wonderful women for acknowledging little ol' me :)

The rule is to answer these questions. Strangely enough I am indeed going to answer them.

1. Why do you blog?

For a few reasons. It has been a way to get things off my chest, but it's also been a way for me to continue writing even if I'm just writing my thoughts down. I find that once I get started writing blogs, I can more easily write a story or part of a story down. The ol' creative juices flowing thing comes into play.

2. What was your favorite age to be and why?

Overall my favorite age was probably 25. I was in the best shape of my life physically and was as active as I could be. For everything though Physically and emotionally I think it was 34. I had all my kids, and I was comfortable with who I am.

3. What's your favorite sport to play?

My favorite sport to play is, was, and always will be Baseball. I love it...I've been playing ball since I was old enough to put a glove on. I am old and broken down now, but I still love it. I can't throw nearly as hard as I once could, nor can I run nearly as fast, but baseball is in my blood...

4. What's your favorite sport to watch, and who's your favorite team?

Football.... Dallas Cowboys. I've been a fan since 1974 and I don't see anything changing that in the near future :)

5. If you could pick your perfect career (and money doesn't matter / the kids are out of the house) what would it be?
Coaching...I would love to be a baseball coach for a high school somewhere. I like the idea of giving kids something they can take with them for the rest of their lives. Love of the game.....

6. Do you ever feel guilty for blogging?

Not so much anymore. I had a few moments of guilt...But I got past that pretty quickly. I have just changed the rest of my schedule around so that blogging doesn't take any more time than my other activities did.

7. What is your favorite holiday?

Used to be my birthday....I really like Thanksgiving though...All the family together and FOOD!!!! what more can an Italian ask for :)

8. What's your favorite kind of music?

Country.... I enjoy classic rock as well...If by classic rock we mean AC/DC, Peter Frampton, Kiss, with a little Scorpions thrown in there...

9. Do you consider yourself a good driver or bad driver?

HA..I should have been the PoPo...I'm a good ol' boy. I spent have my teen years running from the popo so maybe that's where I got my driving talents from. All I know is that you don't require 4 wheel drive to go off road.

10. What's the farthest away place you have visited?

Spent time in the military I've been a few places. Probably Okinawa is furthest. I'm not sure though as far as mileage goes...

Thank you again Momma Fargo...I truly appreciate it..Now go check her out...In case you don't already...You want some great stories THIS is the place to go....

The second awesome award comes from Ms. Anthropy. She calls herself Sarcastic Granny...I would never guess this gal is a granny. She surely doesn't post like any granny I know (well except maybe Rae)...

rules of said award are as follows....

1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER! Yahooooo!!!
2. Choose ONE of the following options of accepting the OMB award:
(a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you can focus.
(b) Write about your most embarrassing moment.
(c) Write a “Soundtrack of your childhood” post.
(d) Make your next blog a ‘vlog’/video blog. Basically, you’re talking to the camera about whatever.
(e) Take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning, before you do anything else (hair, makeup, etc) and post it.

Well I'm thinking of my most embarrassing moment....

At least this is the most embarrassing in my memory...

When I was a young man of 17 I was interested in a certain girl whom I went to school with. I'm a persistent type of guy and made sure that we were at the same place as often as possible. I would always strike up a conversation about something. I'm not too shy around members of the opposite sex so I was at an advantage over many of my classmates.

This one particular Friday night we were at the local pizza place (Straw Hat). I spotted my "friend" sitting with her girlfriends at a booth. I walked over and started chatting with her. She got up and walked back to the register area with me, so that I could order my pizza. About this time one of my good friends walked into the pizza place (did I mention it was Straw Hat?) He knew good and well that I was actively pursuing this young lady. He also knew that embarrassing me was next to impossible.

Now for a little bit of a setup to the scenario. This was a Friday night after a football game. I was a football player. The place was packed to the gills with football players, cheerleaders and a good chunk of our classmates. I'm sure there were at least 400 people in the place. Now back in the day the style of clothing most often worn was a pair of 501 button fly jeans, and a t-shirt. Since I was a football player after the game I would put on my other jersey like the rest of the football players and we would show off our team and school spirit. It was a matter of pride with us. Now my good friend was a football player also. He was one year younger than me though, so he was on the junior varsity team.

So here I am chatting with this girl in the middle of a crowded pizza joint (Straw Hat). As I'm getting ready to find out if she would agree to go out with me, my friend reached around the front of my waist without me realizing what he was doing he unbuttoned my 501 jeans and gave a good tug. Well in the midst of about 400 teenagers I now stood with my pants somewhere in the vicinity of my knees. To say I was horrified is an understatement. BUT, I have to give myself a little credit here. I said "excuse me", and turned around to pull up my pants. I buttoned them up and continued on with my conversation as if nothing happened. Much to my delight I was given that date I had been looking for. Needless to say later on me and my "friend" had a chat. I would have punched him right then and there, but he could barely breathe because he was laughing so hard. Not to mention the rest of the football team as they all enjoyed my moment of "glory". I finally lived that moment down around my 20 year class reunion. Although my friend still reminds me of it every time we get to talking about the good ol' days.

There is the most embarrassing moment in a young man's life....

Thank you again to Ms. Anthropy. You are indeed a great writer and I love your posts. Check out all of her stuff right HERE!

I will reserved giving these out for another day...Thanks again for thinking of little ol' me...I'm flattered :)

Memorial Day

2010-06-01T14:22:00.000-07:00

I didn't post this when I was supposed to because I being the puter dupe that I am didn't have it set for the right day. BUT I have to say a few things about Memorial Day.

I spent 8 years in the USMC. I was in communications and while it wasn't the most exciting job on the planet, it was a learning experience I wouldn't trade for the world. I developed friendships that are more like gaining siblings. I hardly ever talk to my former military bretheren but I know that I need only call or write and they are there. They know this holds true with me as well. I would gladly drop what I'm doing to help whenever or wherever. That's the way it is with a Marine, and I'm going to guess that's the way it is with most military.

Memorial Day is the time we can reflect and thank all of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice. These people are the true super heroes of the world. They give all they have for something they believe in. When I wore the uniform I was humbled by the history of the Corps, and the people who set the standard that we all need to live up to. The fact that they often times knowingly put themselves in harms way and sacrificed themselves for my freedoms is a sobering thought indeed.

If you know anybody who has served in any branch of the service (ESPECIALLY MARINES), thank them as often as you can. Let them know that you are on their side. Tell them you support that they are serving to protect US. I have lost a couple of friends over the years in different military ventures around the world. They weren't always a war, but they were in service of our country. I know that they felt they were just doing their job. They told me often enough how they were born to serve, and I can't help but believe them when I witnessed their dogged determination in some of the most mundane situations, and some of the scariest too.

I know this post is sort of all over the place, but I think it's important that we never forget that we have the greatest fighting force ever assembled, and while it's their job to protect, it's our job to support. We are all responsible for our military men and women.

So to all my Marine brothers everywhere. A big OOOHRAH!!! Semper Fi to all you devil dogs out there. To those who have given all they had for me I say thank you. Thank you from me and my family, you are always in our hearts and I will always keep you in my prayers.

Music Soothes the Soul

2010-05-27T21:42:00.000-07:00

My 12 year old son is in choir. He had a "concert" this evening for the last time in 6th grade. He has a wonderful voice, but has decided that he doesn't like to sing around the family. He only sings at choir practice and for performances. I'm not sure what brought about the change, but he has been that way for a couple of years now.

He was 5 years old when we realized he had a really good musical ear. He has great pitch and actually hits the notes he is trying to hit unlike his father who couldn't sing his way out of a paper sack. Cameron used to sing country songs for us and dance while he was singing them. He was quite the entertainer. At 6 years old he had memorized a dozen Toby Keith Songs and could sing them at the drop of a hat. He would try to get everybody to gather around in the family room and then he would bring out his cd player or the karaoke machine and blast out "Wanna Talk about Me", or "Beer for my Horses". He knew other music as well and developed a taste for listening to classical music. He told me that he wanted to play sax or guitar. As of now he has a guitar but hasn't learned it. He lost interest in learning to play music but has kept his interest in learning songs from his music teacher.

So tonight was his teacher's final concert. After 42 years of teaching music the guy is retiring. He deserves a break and although he will be sorely missed, we are happy for him. So the choir sang their songs one of them being "Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof. They did a commendable job. It's very relaxing for me to hear a group of people sing in tune. Of course it's also nice if you can actually hear the kids singing.

I have raised 3 boys and understand that when children are young they can be cranky, messy, noisy, whiney, smelly, gassy, and every other "y" you can name. BUT that doesn't mean that everybody else should have to share those things with my child. When my kids got to being noisy or irritating they would be outside with me until they could calm down and not disturb the other people that came to watch their children perform. I call that common courtesy. Just because I wanted kids, doesn't mean that the person sitting next to me wanted my kids too.

Tonight there were a lot of people that decided everybody should get to enjoy their child's noisy nature. This was of course at the expense of missing a good portion of the program. I couldn't believe that people are that unconcerned with anyone else but themselves that they couldn't take the few minutes it would have taken to walk their child outside to calm them down. I guess things are different.

So my kid finished his program and he was happy and excited that he got to do it. I look forward to the years ahead as he has already told me he wants to continue with choir and has even considered drama. I didn't take drama in school because I thought I was too cool. I have held that regret for years. I tell my kids not to worry about what other people MIGHT think. They should try it if they think it might be interesting. So here's hoping for many more years of choir and maybe band and hopefully high school drama class!!

BTW...I have not had the time to get my pictures from 6th grade camp downloaded yet. I will do that this weekend and give you guys some pretty pics of some great landscape (hopefully).

Worldwide MISSION MONKEY Day

2010-05-21T23:56:00.000-07:00

I've just returned home from a week of 6th grade camp. I saw the post from Ian at the Daily Dose and I also saw that he wanted it reposted Friday ....So with 3 minutes to spare I'm cheating and linking directly to his post. He will try and BS you into thinking he doesn't write well, but anybody who can write from the heart like he can does just fine in my book...

Hello blog-world! I am participating in what's known around the world as Mission Monkey day! What is Mission Monkey you ask? Well, there's this blogger friend of ours known as Pixie Momma, aka Michelle. Michelle has a little girl, or Monkey as she's known by who was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma. To learn more about it, click here. Monkey is a sweet little 16 month old girl. She doesn't deserve this. Nobody deserves this.

But the good news is that Monkey only has Stage 1 (low risk). The bad news is the medical bills are mounting and the Physical Therapy (starts today) isn't covered by insurance. Michelle is using the donated money to offset medical bills. She will donate and unused portion to another family dealing with the same issue.

This is why the blogging universe is banning together like never before to rally around Michelle and Monkey to provide support. In addition to further entice you to lend your hand, and donate to the cause, we have over 50 items that have been donated. Many bloggers are hosting these fabulous giveaways and all you need to win one of these items is just one raffle ticket.

Donation pages:
Princess of Sarcasm - http://bit.ly/9nUmBp
The One and Only Oka - http://bit.ly/9KZSOG
SupahMommy - http://bit.ly/bSMrGw
Jenn B Says #1 - http://bit.ly/bYzHAH
Jenn B Says #2 - http://bit.ly/bej01D
Amber - http://bit.ly/cTGq29
Two Little Monkeys - http://bit.ly/cZKjzK
Mommy's Nest - http://bit.ly/9tLjoy
Chief's Hiding From the Kids - http://bit.ly/cfKIiO
Jenny - http://bit.ly/dftIS2
Jana - http://bit.ly/aUKVjM

You may donate any amount of money via PayPal as it's linked directly to Michelle's bank account. However, in order to be a part of the raffle, this is how that's going to go. If you donate the following, you get the subsequent number of entries:

$10 - 2 entries
$20 - 5 entries
$30 - 10 entries
$40 - 15 entries
$50 - 20 entries
$75 - 35 entries
$100 - 50 entries
$200 - 125 entries
The raffles for each item will start on or around July 1st.

Jump on over to Ian at Daily Dose of Reality for all the worthwhile news on this great thing he is doing...Do yourself a favor and grab up an entry or two...

Monkey Minute Linkin' it Up!

2010-05-16T21:04:00.001-07:00

Well this is that time of the week again. We get to ask and answer five random questions. These are all dedicated to Michelle's Little Monkey. I hope you guys are all keeping her in your thoughts and prayers.

Just a heads up to my faithful few...I am headed off to 6th grade came for a week, so this will be my last post until Friday night or maybe Saturday. (yeah I know...how will you make it).

So without further ado here are the questions....

1, Have you ever peed in the shower/bath/pool?
At some point in my life yes to all of the above. Any guy who says they haven't well I'm thinking you might be lying....

2. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Tough one, since I have a few. I think my biggest one is when somebody says they will call back and don't....I hate it when somebody breaks their word to me.

3. What's the story behind your blog title?
Story indeed....I play video games and in this one particular game I play, I was required to make a character name. BUT...It had to have two names like a first and last....Well I was a little ticked off, because I've never had to have two names on a game before..So the in game name became bendigo's rage...It was meant to show my irritation at their dumb developer's way of making more names available in a game...It manifested itself into a story and a blog title, because I was finding myself writing about things that irritated or annoyed me. There is more to it, but dang, I don't want to think that much right now :)

4. What is your definition of success?
Wake up suck in air, see my wife and kids and be able to head off to work and get home. Have dinner with the family and play with the kids...That's success to me...And the longer I get to do it, the more successful I feel I am.

5. If you were famous, what would you want to be famous for?
Being a positive impact on a large group of young people. I want to be able to make a difference for as many people in a positive way as possible.

So there you have it, but you need to go check out Ian's answers here.

don't forget to check out his other posts about the raffle...Remember at the least one thought or prayer a day guys....

See ya in a week :)

Puppy Dogs and Rainbows and One Monkey

2010-05-14T20:49:00.000-07:00

I was asked by a certain follower (ABAO) to make a post about Puppy Dogs and Rainbows. Well I figured that I might be able to fit that in and still talk about some stuff I want to talk about.

Momma's Pixie Dream...... If you don't follow you should. Michelle's little monkey is going through some bad stuff and she could use all the support you can muster. This poor little child has a terrible thing called Neuroblastoma. Suffice it to say that it's cancer and no child should have to endure it. IT'S NOT FAIR!! I have children and can only imagine the horror and helplessness this poor woman feels at a terrible moment like this.

So we are going to give her a lot of support and we are going to try and cheer the little monkey up. Lots of prayers and great thoughts need to go their way and we are the people that need to send them.

So let's talk about puppy dogs and rainbows shall we. I have 2 puppy dogs...Well I actually have 4 but they aren't all really puppy dogs. Two of them are full grown. They are my extended family and I love them dearly. So I thought I'd share a couple of pictures of my little pups...

Now the top puppy is Amber, and the bottom one is Jade. They are cute as buttons and destructive as locust...But we love them all the same. I would put pics of the other two, but they are not what I would call "puppy dogs". Also notice the rainbow...So now we have covered all the puppy dogs and rainbows I hope this cheers you up a little bit.

Now what you need to do is head over to Daily Dose of Reality. Ian has a raffle going to raise money to help Monkey. It's a great cause and if you can afford to do it, please do. My family means everything to me, and I'm sure Michelle feels the same about her wonderful family. Let's do everything we can to help. Let's show everybody that in our corner of the blogosphere WE CARE!!!

So there you have it Puppy dogs and Rainbows and One Monkey...Do what you can for this special little one...I'm asking you at the very least say one special prayer for her every day!

Linkin' Up the Monkey Minute

2010-05-10T19:33:00.000-07:00

I'm a bad boy, and I've done the link up so late in the day. For that I'm truly sorry...We all know that this is a special Monkey Minute. It's all about the Monkey. Michelle's Little Monkey to be more specific. Her little one is fighting an ugly thing, and she needs everybody to offer up some prayer and good wishes. So don't dawdle around, if you have the inside track with the big guy upstairs. Do your part and let her know you are thinking of her little monkey...

Here are this weeks questions...

1 - How old do you act?
Welllllll...I act about 12 at home and about 70 at work..

2 - As far back as you can remember, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I wanted to be a teacher...Pffft....I didn't realize I would need to go to so much school to work in the school though.

3 - If you were to write a book based on your life, what would the title be?
The Comeback Kid!

4 - What's something that you do that's considered "childish" by most?
Childish and gross...My brother and I and my sister for that matter "blow" burps at each other...lol

5 - The last question isn't a question. Write a story of a time of when you or someone you know overcame great adversity.
I unfortunately have many of these..I'm gonna pick my mom's story though...My mom was ill for many years and they couldn't quite figure out what was wrong with her. She had terrible itching all the time, and couldn't wear any clothing but pure cotton. She was told to try not eating wheat, no salt, and every other possible thing that adds flavor to your food. Finally after about 3 years of doctor's visits and a number of possible solutions, she got a doctor who told her that she had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. By this time my mother was in the hospital with pneumonia. Her lungs were filling up with fluid and they had to drain them. She was scared that first time they drained them. She learned to dread that procedure the other three times they did it. She was finally healthy enough to leave the hospital, and after a short stint at home for complete recovery, she began her chemotherapy. For 1 year my mom went down to the outpatient center and received chemo three times a week then 4 times a week, then a week off and start again. She lost a good deal of her hair, and although she was scared out of her mind, she always managed to ask us how WE were doing. After a year of treatment it was decided that she was in remission. She has been going back regularly for check-ups since and to date she hasn't had a problem again. Her hair grew back and mom is healthy once again. I talk about hope a lot and this is one of the reasons for that. Mom is a firm believer that good things happen if you beleive they can. Hope starts there.

So to Michelle I say, Keep the faith and keep hoping. We are all praying for your little monkey. Good things are coming her way....Now drop by her site and give her some support...

And even though I'm so darned late getting this out...Go check out IAN and check out his answers he doesn't ever fail to deliver....

Mommy, Mother, Mom

2010-05-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

A great many of my posts have dealt with my father. I was fortunate enough to have a dad who was dedicated to my growing up. I have made mention of Mom, but not in any detail. I figured that Mother's Day is a fitting time to say thank you to a truly great woman.

My mom is an only child. She was raised in a VERY Italian culture. She didn't even speak English until she was ready to enter Kindergarten. My grandparents decided that this was the country they would live in, and this would be the language they should speak. Mom learned English at the age of 5 and in time to go to school.

She grew up unlike many only children. She was not especially spoiled, and her parents didn't have a lot of time for her. My grandparents both worked (not real common back in the day). My grandmother worked at an Olive factory and my grandfather was a baker. So mom spent a good deal of time with Aunts and Uncles.

I have heard all the tales of her growing up so many times that they come to my mind without hesitation. I can see the family outings in the mountains that she spoke of so often, in my mind as clearly as if I was there. I was fortunate enough to get to enjoy many of those same things with Mom and Dad as we grew up.

Mom worked as a teacher's aide for an elementary school. The kids were drawn to her, because she has a ready smile for everybody. She would patiently guide them through the school work and I later met many kids from her classes that told me often that she was far better than their teacher. My mom is somebody who wants to help everybody. She was an aide for a number of years before she moved up to the Administrative offices. She became an assistant to the Superintendent of Schools. My mom was so proud of her accomplishment. She never had a college education, but she managed to handle the job as if she was born to it.

Now along with working at the school, mom also took other jobs to make ends meet. She worked on the assembly line of a chip factory at night for a while as well. I can still remember her coming home with the scent of tortilla chips on her clothes. She loved that job even though it was just working a line. She told me often that it reminded her that she can always find something to feed her family if she has to. Mom was never too proud to do what needed to be done. I learned that lesson, just not as quickly as she did.

I can say that throughout my entire childhood I can't remember a time we didn't have dinner as a family. If mom wasn't there the dinner was already made and my dad would heat it up. We would eat as a family of 5 or a family of 4, but we would eat as a family. That was because Mom INSISTED that we sit together and talk about our day. We would get the chance to tell our parents how school was going, and what we did well or not so well that day. Dinner was a great time in my house as a kid.

Mom has seen me through illness, happiness, injury, marriage, divorce, children, financial ruin, personal ruin, and personal triumph. The most important thing Mom has done is see me through life. She has always been there, usually quietly in the background offering support or advice. Never forcing her opinion on me, but always ready to offer it if I asked (sometimes when I didn't). She has loved me unconditionally, defended me faithfully, and I could not ask for a better Grandmother for my children.

So this is just a small way for me to say...Mom I Love you...Thank you for everything you have done and continue to do for this not so perfect son of yours.

Happy Mother's Day.....

So Long Sadie

2010-05-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

I have made a few posts regarding pets. I'm definitely an animal lover, but I surely do hate when they get to their later years and become deathly ill, or have to be put down. This is the case with my parents dog Sadie.

My mom rescued Sadie when she was a pup running wild in a field. My mom worked across the street from the field and would bring food over there every day for the 3 little pups that were running around. Finally after many nights of feeding and building shelters for them, they caught all three. My mom was able to give away two of them, but the third one was left out. She was just too darned big and nobody wanted this huge pup. Sadie became a member of my moms family.

She wouldn't come anywhere near the door of the house. She stayed in the backyard and a huge doghouse was built for her. Sadie weighed in at around 140 lbs. and there was no fat on this huge girl. She was friendly but ever alert for some trouble. She was a wild pup learning to be in the presence of not so wild surroundings. It was three years before she would even stand at the french doors leading into mom's house. Finally she popped her head in one day. She then started hanging around my dad's feet at the kitchen table while he read the paper. Before long she was sleeping in the hallway and eventually she slept at the foot of mom and dad's bed. Sadie had finally adopted the family who adopted her.

She was very fortunate for most of her life as far as illness went. She wasn't often sick and just had some problems with her teeth. She is about 14 (maybe 15 we aren't exactly sure). The doctor told us that she was in twilight years for a dog of her size. She never showed any signs of slowing down except that her legs are now stiff when she gets up and she lumbers instead of having that spring to her step. We just accepted that as part of growing older and she did too.

Over the past year Sadie has had many bouts with her gums and nose. She has bled on and off from her nose and mouth for the past year and they didn't really know why. They gave her medicine to help heal any infections, and she was even on steroids for some time. Yesterday the bleeding became regular and not just slight. She is having trouble breathing and has blood in her stomach. The big girl is suffering and we can't stand to see this happen to such a sweet dog.

I'm going back over to mom and dad's in a little bit and we are going to put her in the truck for her last ride. She will be in no pain or discomfort very soon. My mom is beside herself with grief over this tough decision and my dad, while not showing it as much is devastated. I have seen them go through this many times, as they have had animals all my childhood. It doesn't get easier and they go in knowing this is the likely result. I am going to try and talk my dad into letting me take the big girl down on her final ride and I hope he will see it's the best way.

Sadie....We are gonna miss you big girl. We love you, and only want you to be free of pain and suffering. You are going to get to run after the birds in the backyard real soon and you will get to see Hector and Bridgette as well... God Speed you were always a good girl .......

Most Precious Treasure

2010-05-06T20:55:00.000-07:00

Since I'm a father I think the most precious thing I can be entrusted with is the care of my children. They are depending on my to protect them, feed them, give them advice, and most of all to love them. They don't necessarily understand why they expect these things of me any more than I could understand why I know they are expected. It's the job of every parent to protect their child PERIOD.

I was shocked and disgusted when I read about the woman that drowned her baby in a bathtub in a hotel room a few weeks ago. There were two other children left untouched in the room, tucked in bed. This woman, I'm told was suffering from postpartum depression or something similar since they aren't yet sure. I didn't think it got worse than doing that. I had heard of other cases of a mother killing their child, but that is one of the worst ways I could think of. I am pretty sure because that is my great fear, to drown (of course that is in the deep dark water somewhere not a tub). I figured that after reading that I was pretty desensitized to any other horrid, unspeakable acts by the human race upon their children, but I was wrong.

A few days ago a 911 operator received a call from a man who said that a child was stabbed and thrown down some steps. The officers responded and found a boy of 3 who had been stabbed somewhere in the vicinity of 15 times and then thrown down his concrete steps to the floor below. The witness who happened to be a neighbor said that he saw the boy with multiple stab wounds at the bottom of the stairs and all he could hear was the boy calling out "mommy". It turns out that his mother was the person who stabbed him and then tried to fight with the officers, telling them not to help the child. She had a 2 month old baby in her home.

I'm not a person who sheds a tear about many things. I figured that not many things could affect my heart in a way to bring tears anymore. I was wrong. The thought of this little boy who only knows that mom is there to protect and watch over him, was still calling for the monster who was the reason for all of his pain. He is in critical condition in the hospital as I type this, and they don't know if he will recover or not. His mother was obviously arrested and the little baby girl was taken by child protective services.

People have been making excuses for this woman on the news, on the radio, in the newspapers and around our office even. I hear that she had so many mental problems and that she suffered from postpartum psychosis. There were other people coming on a talk show and telling their stories of near misses due to the same illness.

As I listened to the stories one thing kept crawling back into my mind. ALMOST, they almost hurt their children. They saw they had a problem and got help. They saw something was wrong and took a chance for some self reflection. They saw a problem and they did something about it. They didn't just go half cocked and harm their child. They didn't kill their most precious treasure. They realized soon enough that they could and should do something, that it was their responsibility to take care and protect their child.

I don't feel pity for this woman, and I surely don't feel compassion for her. I feel only sorrow for the poor little boy and little girl. People are too quick to blame everything on a mental disparity. They are quick to have an excuse for something going wrong. The mother had some history of drugs, so could that have maybe been a contributing factor? Was the family aware of what was going on? To some degree they were the sister or sister-in-law thought that drugs were playing a role.

I read about parents struggling to save their children every day. We are watching someone we read here in our own little blog world deal with tragic circumstances with their little monkey. These are people that are striving to do all they can to protect those who rely on us for so much, and then I see the evil, disgusting head of this woman rear itself as she tries to snuff out one of the only things that could have given her any hope of being a productive human being. Her simple task was to raise and love her children and she failed. She failed her poor little boy and that now motherless little girl. Maybe she was afraid to ask for help, and maybe she didn't see a problem. Maybe she thought everybody would look down on her if she admitted she couldn't do it.

I look around me nowadays and I see grief, and fear. I see people full of hopelessness and I see people who have given up. Maybe this woman is just a sign of where we are heading. Maybe she is a front runner to what the parents of the future will be like. This could be the precursor to a truly hellish future. I like to think it's not. I like to think that we are just in an emotional funk as a society. I am hopeful that we are going to figure this out, and we are going to teach our children to be loving, compassionate, caring parents. That is the most important lesson we can give our kids. We can teach them that it's ok to ask for help if we are feeling helpless. It's ok to accept a helping hand when we know we are at the end of our rope. It's also ok to admit we failed at something. We learn far more from our failures than our success. It's not about falling down, it's about getting back up. It's about doing right no matter how badly we are tempted to do wrong.

That is the legacy I'm leaving my kids. Never give up, never lose hope, never stop caring. Randy Travis said it pretty good..."It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you, it's what you leave behind you when you go.

Truck Door = Head Rest?

2010-05-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

If you happened to read my answers to the Monday Minute you will see that I answered the worst fight I had been in with a comment about a car door and my head meeting. Let me correct and say that it was a truck door, and it was in fact MY truck door.

I had a few scraps as a youngster. I didn't fight out of anger (usually). It was a matter of pride in some cases but more often than not I think we were bored. I can't remember getting really mad about anything and running into a fight. I was always of the belief that there is a time when talking won't resolve the issue. Sometimes you are gonna get your ears boxed in and the best thing you can do is be prepared for it in case it happens.

Well that situation presented itself one lovely day after school. I was approached by three guys and told that one of them had a girlfriend whom I was seeing. So many schoolyard fights are typical, they are the same setup lines and are usually just one guy (or many) wanting to pick on somebody. Now I knew this guy and I knew his ex-girlfriend, because I had gone out with her. She didn't want anything more to do with him, and I made sure I told him that in front of his two little friends. They warned me that if I was with her again, they would do "bad" things to me. I laughed and told them to do what they had to do. They didn't understand why I wasn't scared, but what they couldn't see was that I was scared. I just didn't figure to let them know how much.

Now my father always told me to know when trouble was coming. He explained to me at an early age that if somebody grabs me, I should defend myself. He also told me that if I had to fight, I should always strike first and strike hard. Needless to say I took that advice to heart. I watched the first guy come up in front of me and he started telling me that he was gonna kick my ass and blah blah blah. I told him once to back off, and it was his turn to laugh. That was when he pushed me. He didn't push me hard, he was just trying for some intimidation. My foot went back and then I was set and I punched him right in the lip. Before he could take a step back I kicked him in the knee and then I backed up waiting to see what the other two were going to do.

The tough guy was holding his lip because I got him good and he was bleeding a little bit. He was sorta hopping around on his good leg while his two friends were trying to calm him down a little bit. I decided I needed to make my bluff a little better because if the other two decided to rush me I was in for a good deal of pain. So I jumped forward and started yelling at em, "Come on!! I'll kick your ass too!!!!" They were startled and I like to think a little scared they grabbed up their buddy and left. I was pretty proud of myself that afternoon. I figured that I managed to avoid a lot of trouble with a small amount of force. The mental patting of the back happened and I went home.

As with most things as a teenager, I didn't think much about that incident, I had other things to consider. You know stuff like well....girls, sports, a big gulp from 7-11. You know important teen decisions, so that little scrap was soon forgotten well at least by me it was. That turned out to be a bad thing.

A week to the day after my run in with the 3 stooges, I was at my truck throwing all my junk in the back to go home. As I came to my door, one of those three was standing there and he told me he just wanted to talk for a second. I figured since he was alone, it would be just fine. So he tells me that his friend really likes this girl and he just wants me to back off for a little bit to give them a chance to work out their problems, and he is going on and on. I should have known I was being set up. I told him that I would ask her what she wanted to do, and if she told me to go then I would, but if not that was his friends problem. He told me something like "fair enough" and as I started to turn stooge #2 came from outside my line of sight. He basically grabbed my hair and belt loop on the run and led me straight into the door of my 1971 Ford truck. Now this is no modern fiberglass door, this is real good ol' fashioned metal. My head left a decent imprint in my door.

I've seen lots of guys get slammed into doors in movies, and usually they brush it off in a few seconds......NOT ACCURATE. I found out later I was slammed into my door 3 times but I only remember feeling the first one and it hurt! As I was falling to my knees the guy who slammed my head kicked me a couple of times then spit on me. I could have lived with the kicking and would have probably gotten over the head in the door thing, but he spit on me and that I couldn't get past.

I had a surprisingly small cut on my head from the impact, but I did have a rapidly swelling goose egg developing on my forehead. So, the guy that held my attention ran off when his buddy started slamming my head in the door. I guess he didn't want to be caught around a fight. Although in all fairness at that moment it wasn't a fight, it was a beating. I didn't do anything but take a slamming to my head and then take some kicking to boot. I guess that he figured I was all done in and said something that I couldn't really understand since my ears were ringing pretty good, and my vision was sort of hazy. I was on my knee wondering if I was going to the hospital, or if my parents were gonna be mad at me for wrecking the truck. It's funny what you think about in those moments. I couldn't remember what street I was on, but I could remember that I had dented my truck.

I tried to stand up, but my legs were still sort of jelly, so I went back to a knee to get my bearings. A girl that saw the whole thing came over and asked if I was ok. I told her I was fine, and she ran to a water fountain and wet her new headband and gave it to me. She was a volleyball player and I guess she had just gotten new sweatbands. I remember that so vividly because she made a point of telling me, "Don't worry they are brand new." I guess she figured that in my shape I would care if there was sweat mingled with cold water. I thanked her, and sort of wiped the little bit of blood off my head and left the band there to cool off my goose egg forehead. That was when that girl, bless her heart told me, "They are all standing over behind the economics building." I do appreciate a thoughtful girl. I guess she wanted to see me get my head busted in some more.

The second time I tried to stand up was much better, except for when I put my hands down, the asphalt was all crumbly and I almost fell because the piece my hand was on was separated from the road. I made it up though and that's when I looked down and saw the equalizer. That piece of blacktop that was loose from the road was sitting there looking up at me. I could tell it wanted me to take it "just in case". I grabbed up my new friend and started walking (fairly straight) towards the economics building which was only about 1/2 block away. My head was pounding something terrible and my vision was ok, but a bit hazy. If you have ever spent too much time in a swimming pool, and everything is a little big foggy that is what my vision was like.

There they were standing together talking like nothing happened. I found my attacker talking to his other two friend/accomplices. It turns out that the guy who put my head into the door was the same guy I punched. They hadn't seen me yet, so I kept walking up until I was only about 20 feet away. That was when the counter-attack began. I ran (walked fast, and unsteady) at him. He wasn't paying attention and his friends weren't looking my way. When I got to a couple of feet away one of his friends saw me and started to yell something, but that just made my guy, turn his back completely to me as he turned to look. I landed on his back with my arm across his chest and that piece of blacktop came right over the top of his head and landed with a satisfying crunch upon the bridge of his nose. Looking back it wasn't my finest hour. But I have to admit that it felt pretty good at the time.

That boy went down like a sack of potatoes. His friends stood there staring at me, as I guess I had started to bleed again. I yelled something that I don't even remember, but I'm sure it was a challenge to them, if they wanted to fight let's do it. Or some silly testosterone induced comment. Their response was to stand and stare at me. I don't think they could believe I got back up from the slam to the door. My head was still throbbing and I needed to get out of there. So I told them anytime they wanted to pick this up we could do it.

Well the damage to my door was $75.00. My damage was a mild concussion and a slight cut over my left eyebrow. The other fellow didn't fair as well as me. His damage was 4 stitches to the bridge of his nose. He was questioned by a teacher and then the vice principle when he showed up with stitches and told them that he had an accident on his motorcycle. The girl who offered up her headband to me, told somebody in authority what had happened, but she didn't say who did it. I told them the same thing, that I didn't know who did it. I was asked if I was ok and sent home. The guy that wanted me to leave his girlfriend alone was never involved in either of the incidents. He stayed conveniently in the background throughout it all.

Years later, I served in the military with one of those guys, and we had a good laugh about it. He apologized for setting me up for his buddy. I told him not to worry about it and it was water under the bridge. He sure did enjoy telling that story at the enlisted club. "You should have seen this guy he was nuts, blood running down his face, big ol' knot sticking out of his forehead and here he comes with a chunk of asphalt in his hand! He took Tommy down with one swipe and we were scared shit less. He's crazy, but I'm glad he's on my side." All in all it was ok, because it gave me a little status as that crazy redneck.

So the next time you see a guy get slammed into the car door in a movie and he pops back up to beat the bad guys, just remember that's just not gonna happen. I've had a few scraps and that is one of the worst I encountered. There are others, and one day I might even share another of them.

Linkin' up The Monday Minute

2010-05-02T21:19:00.000-07:00

It's that time again...What time you ask? Monday Minute time....

As I told you I've been sort of a slug as of late with posting, but real life is almost back in order and then blogging will be as well :)

For now here is the Monday Minute as it's offered up by none other than Ian over at Daily Dose...

1 - How much would you have to be paid to eat a human cadaver's finger?
Not a dime if I was stuck in the mountains like those poor bastards in that plane crash...I'd dine like it was a 5 star restaurant.. :)

2 - Describe the worst physical fight you've ever been in.
Well I don't like to think about it much because I was a bit wild in my younger days...I was once slammed into a car door and knocked pretty much out of my senses...I'll post that experience some other time, but I promise that didn't end the fight ...

3 - Name one song that if you never heard it ever again, you'd be thrilled.
Kung fu Fighting

4 - Describe the "drunkest" situation you've ever been.
There are too many to list... BUT one pretty drunk situation I remember (there are few that I totally remember) involved me awaking in a grape vineyard. I evidently passed out on the way home from a party and ended up in between two rows of grapes. I drove out of there and got home. I'm lucky I'm alive judging by some of my poor choices as a young adult.

5 - What's your biggest regret?
I have a few that are close ties. I think my biggest regret is that I got divorced and even though it ended up better for me. I always wonder how much of a negative impact it had on my son. I wasn't there to defend him like I should have been.

So now you have my lame-o answers, but you need to get over to Ian and check his out...

Get A Life!

2010-04-28T22:10:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure if you guys have ever noticed, but I'm a wee bit opinionated . I think it's healthy to have an opinion and to go a step further it's pretty healthy to voice it as well. I say voice it, not force it on someone else. Remember that part............

I enjoy taking a break during my work day and reading through some of the news stories that circulate. I think that my main reason for reading them is so I can become annoyed or enraged by my perceived ignorance of someone else. I lie to myself and say that I read them to be "informed".

So I'm popping through the yahoo news and I come across a little item from Santa Clara County. For those of you unfamiliar, that is a county in California. Santa Clara Valley is sometimes called Silicon Valley. It's the southern tip of San Francisco area. Alright now that we have the geography down, let's get to the reason for Santa Clara County being in the news.

It seems that in unincorporated Santa Clara County the "Board of Supervisors" have voted to have toys removed from kids meals in fast food restaurants, if the meal exceeds 485 calories, gets more than 35 percent of the calories from fat, or 10% from added sweetners, or has more than 600 mg of sodium.

Well thanks to the Board for deciding my child should not get a toy if I decide to be a lazy parent that night, and head to my local fast food for a meal. I was a little bit irritated by this, but I decided that maybe I should look into it a little closer before making these rash decisions about the ignorance of a total board of supervisors. So I did some math (yep, us rednecks can count).

I compared a mighty kids happy meal with a make at home meal to see just how much more the calorie intake would be for my precious little angels . Here's what I managed to come up with

I took a 6 pc chicken mcnugget small fries and a kids size sprite. I also took a double cheeseburger small fries and a hi-c orange

Little son will eat this:

6 pc nugget 250 calories 15 grams fat
small fries 230 calories 11 grams fat
small sprite 110 calories 0 grams fat
ketchup (4) 40 calories 0 grams fat
(can't forget my little ones ketchup)
It gave me a total of 630 calories 26 grams fat

The middle son will eat this:

double cheeseburger 460 calories 23 grams fat
small fries 230 calories 11 grams fat
small hi-c orange 160 calories 0 grams fat
no ketchup
(he's weird that way)

total count 850 calories 34 grams fat

Yikes...I decided to compare that to a nice italian meal I like to make at home...Lasagna with garlic bread and mixed veggies

Lasagna... 377 calories 14 grams fat
garlic bread (2) 372 calories 10 grams fat
mixed veggies 67 calories (.3)0 grams fat
vitamin D milk (12oz) 225 calories 8 grams fat

Let's check out the difference......

Survey says.............1139 calories 32 grams fat

Now granted I could have made a differnt choice for a dinner, I could have had something much healthier I suppose. The point is I didn't, because we like lasagna. We like garlic bread and my kids like mixed veggies (usually). Milk does a body good, as the commecial says, and my boys love milk (even though the little one says he's lactose intolerant). The thing is this group of morons has tried to decide that by taking the toy out of the kids meal they are going to dictate what we should feed our children. Granted fast food is not healthy, but last time I checked I didn't ask them to decide my menu for me. So if I don't go to the fast food restaurant and instead stay home and cook this meal is that better for my child? Probably. Is it going to hurt my kids to have fast food once in a while? Is it going to hurt them to get the little batman, or avatar toy in their might kids meal? Probably not, but evidently what I as a parent think doesn't matter too much anymore. We have a new way of dealing with things nowadays, and I for one don't like it.

I decided that The Santa Clara Board of Supervisors are most deserving of my Get A Life! Award. It's all new and improved and they should be happy to receive such a prestigious award. One last thought for you supervisors...How about if you worry about making sure roads are free of potholes, not too much dope is being slung around the neighborhoods, and not too many gang bangers are shooting up the neighborhoods. Maybe you could do that and let us parents raise our kids.

Thanks...

Volunteer For Your Local School Today...or Not!

2010-04-27T20:21:00.000-07:00

I might have mentioned that I was going to be a camp counselor for my son's 6th grade camp. The parents were informed that without volunteers the children would not be able to have a 6th grade camp, so a few of us were more than happy to jump in.

I was told that all I need to do is get my fingerprints taken to verify that I'm not some sicko child molester in hiding. Fair enough I can understand that, and I fully agree with the concept. I was told to head down to the local Unified School District office to get this done.

I show up at the office to get my fingerprints done. The woman behind the counter ignored me for a few minutes first (about 5). I figured she must be busy, but I soon realized she was just killing time, so after clearing my throat without response for the 3rd time I simply said "Excuse me". She turned around and acted like I was really interrupting her work schedule. Strike one... I was then told that I needed to get a TB test before getting my fingerprints done. I didn't realize that, mostly because NOBODY bothered to tell me. I figured what the heck, it's for my son I can handle that. Well the county health department only does that on two days and that wasn't one of them. So now I'm having to wait an extra couple days to get the TB test before I can get my fingerprints. Still no problem, I can work my schedule around it and take care of the TB test then the fingerprints. I'm then told that fingerprints will cost $62.00. I stood there staring at her for a minute letting that sink in. "Excuse me?", says I. She explains that it will be $62.00. $15.00 for them to do the fingerprints and $47.00 for the district, to I guess process the fingerprints??? She didn't know why the district charged all that money when the people that are actually going to print me are charging $15.00. I maintain some level of calm and say ok, and out the door I go.

I get my TB test done, the following Tuesday and have to wait for the end of the week so they can read it and verify that I'm tested negative. No problem there and Friday I get my little receipt showing that I'm A OK ready to go. I show back up today to get my prints done, and I'm informed that I need to schedule my fingerprints and it will cost $47.00 in cash, check, or money order. Exact change only. I have had just about enough of these people at this point. I calmly expressed my opinion that maybe they should make that information known when telling us that we will be paying this money to VOLUNTEER in the first place. She has the nerve to laugh and tell me that they wouldn't get nearly as many volunteers if they did that. I am forced to go across the street to a liquor store to get change, since I'm a guy and as most guys will tell you we don't carry check books usually and I'm pretty sure I don't have the means to make a money order in my truck. I'm a cash and debit card kinda guy. I bring her the money in small bills and some change (a little payback). I'm then told that I can go down tomorrow to get my fingerprints done. I leave with a controlled thank you.

Is it just me or does this seem a bit extreme for somebody who is a volunteer? I've always been of the opinion that if somebody is going to volunteer their time, the least I can do is try to make it as simple as possible. It seems to me that they go out of their way to make it harder, almost to the point of disuading you from offering to help. They have already had one father drop out and I'm sure that will leave me with more kids in my cabin which is no big deal since I'm sure we will have a good time.

So here is a little bit of advice to all of you administrators looking for volunteers. How about you have the district foot the bill for the fingerprints, and how about if you give clear, concise instructions regarding EXACTLY what is required and then maybe just maybe you could manage to allow us to get these things done in a couple of visits instead of 4 or 5. Perhaps you could even tell the person at the window that they are meeting the public and some social skills are helpful. You could maybe even go a step further and tell them that social skills are required and a bit of knowledge about your job is also helpful. Some professionalism would be greatly appreciated.

The bottom line is my son is going to have his dad there as a counselor, but I'm quite sure the principal is going to get an earful from not just this parent, but at least 3 others that I know of. We don't mind stepping in, but I'll be damned if I'm going to jump over hoops when they could handle all the footwork beforehand.

Wake up schools and school districts you could get so much more from your community if you would listen a little bit, and actually take what we think and want into consideration. Volunteer today, but make sure you know what you are getting into before you sign that paper....

Linkin' Up the Monday Minute!

2010-04-26T16:03:00.001-07:00

Alright so I'm laggin' on the blog thing today...Well sorta laggin' on the blog thing this past week...Work has been a bit overloaded, so I'm getting here when I can..I should be back under control in a week or so...

Enough of that...This is that world famous (sounds good) Monday Minute from Ian over at Daily Dose

1 - What drugs have you done in your life?
Ummmm...Are there character limits on this thing? I have done a little bit of just about everything. I never injected anything, but black beauties, cross tops, pot, crank, coke, dusters, and about a dozen others I didn't know the name of. I was very fortunate in that I stopped it all when I left high school. This was a strictly Teen Weekend thing. I know I was weird....

2 - A/S/L?

42/M/CA

3 - Do you pick your nose?
You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your friend's nose... Let's see....Male...um yeah that's the qualifier right there...

4 - What's your favorite childhood cartoon

I had two....Underdog and Bugs Bunny

5 - List the URL, of what you believe to be the best blog post you've ever done
This one about my Hero (who just happens to be my dad)

Well you know that you can grab Ian's answers here

So quit wasting your time here, and go check em out...I will have a nice little post tomorrow (well don't know about nice, and probably not that little either)...

Buyer Beware?? No...Driver Beware!

2010-04-24T01:15:00.000-07:00

On occasion (when my boss hates me), I have to drive to a few workshops or other informational seminars regarding some of the "stuff" I have to handle. Lots of regulations, policies, and procedures to remember and they feel that sometimes it's a good idea to have a refresher or two. I don't have a problem with the concept.

My problem starts when they inform me that I will travel a few hours for a class that is only a few hours. It's counterproductive in my opinion. I found out that my opinion doesn't matter all that much, so off I went. It was a shorter trip than some as I was only expected to travel up to the Stockton area which is only about 3 hours from where I work. No problem thinks me, I can get there, get er' done and get back by the end of the actual work day. I forgot to factor one thing in my equation that would have told me how long it would take.....The other driver.

We have all had our fair share of bad drivers I'm sure. Too slow, too fast, texting, talking on the phone. I have great luck in that I encountered all of these on the way. There were a few more as well. One bright guy was reading his newspaper that was sitting on his passenger seat as he drove 55 mph in the fast lane. A woman was putting on some form of makeup around her eyes or on her eyes or eyelashes, I couldn't really tell which since she went flying by me at about 85 mph and not more than 5 minutes later I was passing her because she was now doing about 50 mph.

I got to the point that I figured it was my duty as a good citizen to make these people aware of their thoughtless ways. I made a point of honking at every driver who was text messaging while driving. I honked at every driver who was talking on their phone. I honked at one guy who was taking a leak on the side of the highway...ON THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY in mid morning traffic...Are you serious??

I started to realize that maybe those 5 cups of coffee might be adding to my frustration, so I stopped at Starbucks for a 6th. I was back on the road and ready to face them all. By the time I reached my destination, I'm quite sure my battery was losing a charge from all the honking I did. I'm also sure that my finger was cramping from all the people I gave the #1 sign to.

My glorious trip was made complete by the fact that our meeting took exactly 25 minutes less than my drive to this place. Now that is some time management. I made sure that I called my boss on the way back (I use blue ant) and told him what a wonderful guy he is, and what a command management decision he made in having me "refresh my memory" on this particular subject.

So to hell with caution when you are buying, because we are all broke anyway. Be far more nervous when you are driving. I think that they need to take all these furloughed DMV people we have here in California and maybe have them give a workshop on how to friggin drive on the highway. They can get their Friday workday back and maybe just maybe one or two of these less than enlightened individuals will get a clue!

The only other option I have come up with is purchasing a tank with a working turret. Now let's see you cut me off while you are text messaging your girlfriend you snot nosed brat!

The Comeback Kid....

2010-04-21T18:27:00.000-07:00

I enjoyed talking about my little baseball adventure even if I didn't get much enjoyment out of the jerks that I ended up discussing. That said it put me on the path to thinking about some of the things I have dealt with in my life, sports and otherwise.

When I was in 7th grade I had meningitis. It was bacterial and they were unsure if I would live through the ordeal. I lost 40 pounds and missed most of my 7th grade year. To say that it was a scary time in my life would be a lie. I was oblivious to the danger associated with this illness. I was a kid and my thoughts were limited to when I would see my friends again, when I would have to go to class again and more importantly when I would be able to play sports again.

After a lengthy stay in the hospital (weeks) I was finally told that I was on the road to recovery and could go home. My parents were I'm sure happier than I was. They would no longer have to take turns at the hospital watching over me day and night. Yeah my parents didn't go home together...ever. There was always one or the other of them either in my room or in the waiting room. They wouldn't let them sleep in my room, so the waiting room became a temporary bedroom for one of the two. I believe more often than not it was my father. My mom still had two other kids to get ready for school and all the other things that a housewife was expected to do. It was a different time and roles were far more defined than they are now. I don't know if that is better or worse, but it sure made it much easier for a husband and wife to know what was expected.

So I get home and I am unable to walk. Weeks in a hospital bed fighting for my life had left me with not much in the way of muscle mass. I had shrunk from 110 lbs to around 70 lbs. I am a big boned person, and for that matter I was a rather big boned kid. Never tall but what they would usually call husky. I didn't know fat till I was an adult (or at least late teen). I was able to hide the fact that I was so thin by wearing sweaters if I had to. Without a shirt though I look emaciated. There is no better way to describe the skeleton that was me without a shirt to hide my ribs.

I had to learn how to walk again. I developed strength in my arms fairly fast, but I had no coordination and my brain didn't tell my legs to work the way they should. I became a monkey of sorts, simply dragging myself from couch to chair to table to get around the family room and kitchen. It wasn't through any great will power on my part to be able to walk again except for the promise that my father made to me. I once asked when I got home if I would be able to play football next season. His answer was simple, if I could run and do all the things every other kid my age was able to do AND if the doctor said it was ok he would allow it. My father told me later that there was no way he was going to let me play football after all that they had been through with me. I accepted the answer and began my own private rehab. I would sit on my bed at night and stand myself up. Sit back down. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Thousands of times I did that just to get some strength in my legs. It worked fairly well, and soon I was able to get to the bathroom without hollering for someone to bring me in there (now that is freedom).

A home tutor was brought into my house and I began my schooling once again. Mrs. Moreno was my teacher and she was an angel in disguise. She gave me no pity, and didn't accept my BS excuses for not getting something done. She told me that I could do it or give up. It didn't matter to her because she was paid all the same. If I wanted to quit that was fine with her, she didn't expect much more out of a boy anyway. Well that was all I needed as far as motivation went. She pushed exactly the right buttons to make me want to excel. Not just because I wanted to get better, but I wanted to prove to her that I was no quitter. I struggled daily with the lessons, and she was there to offer help when she knew I was in over my head. She quietly helped me through the hardest hurdle in my young life.

Walking was pretty normal now and I was able to visit friends, well they were able to visit me. I wasn't let out of my parents sight for more than a few minutes at a time unless I was in "class". Eventually I was allowed to get out in the front yard and not long after I was playing catch with a friend, and then me and my dad were playing catch again. That in itself was one of the most awesome feelings in my life. The first time my dad heard me ask if he wanted to have a catch he told me that it might not be a good idea yet. I explained to him that I had been playing catch for a couple weeks and thought he might want to join in finally. Reluctantly he accepted and the smile on his face the first time I threw the ball back was from ear to ear. It didn't take but a couple of days of this before we were playing burnout again (throw it back and forth as hard as you can till somebody drops it).

In no time I was back at school to finish up the 7th grade. I got to be involved in the last quarter of the year. I might add that I had 4 F's a D and an A that quarter. My wonderful home teacher had begun teaching me from the wrong place in our books and I was completely lost. I didn't care though I was just happy to be back in school. I should also explain that my one A was in Physical Education. I was able to play all the sports that everybody else did and I promise I was dressed out for P.E. every day.

Summer came and we were pretty much back to normal. I got tired sometimes but not enough to notice. I was also still doing my silly stand up sit down exercise, but now I was doing it from the ground. I also added a jump to it. I would sit on the ground and then stand up, jump as high as I could and then sit back down. Over and over again I did these in the bedroom before bed. It was my one way to exercise in private without anybody knowing I was doing it. I wanted to be ready to try out for football and this was something to help or so I thought.

With a month of Summer left, football sign ups came. I asked my father if I could try out and his response was NO! I called him a liar and ran out of the house. Did I mention I ran out of the house? He chased after me and yelled for me to come back. I would have no part of that. I ran out of the cul de sac and down the street, with my father trying to catch up. After about 3 blocks I got tired and started walking. I turned around and my father wasn't following anymore. I figured I had a little time before he caught up so I wasn't too concerned. I was just mad that he didn't do like he said. Not more than a couple of minutes later there was my dad in the car telling me to get in. I didn't say a word I just climbed in. We drove straight to the family doctor (yeah there used to be those guys back then). He gave me a physical and told my dad that I was as healthy as you could hope for. The next Saturday I was signed up for football.

I was scared during those first weeks of tryouts. What if I couldn't keep up? What if my coordination wasn't back? What if I just wasn't good enough anymore? I made the team, and was put on second string. Now normally I would have been pretty upset by that. I had always been a starter before this, but figured that maybe I had lost a step since I was so sick all that time. It didn't take long for the coaches to see that I was still the same player I always was. I was moved up to first string before the first scrimmage and there I stayed.

The first game is the only one I can remember from that season. I was petrified. I hadn't been face to face with another team since before I was sick. All those doubts came back to me in a flash. What if was everywhere. Our coach huddled us up and told us all the normal pre game garbage. Pumping us up and getting our blood boiling. We all broke out of the huddle in a frenzy ready to kill anything and everything. My coach grabbed me and took me to the side. He explained to me that I shouldn't be nervous. I didn't know it showed, but he obviously saw it. He told me I was ready, slapped me on the helmet and let me go back to the team. We were on defense first and I was out there with em. My blood pressure had to be reaching stroke level by this time. I made my first tackle and everything was ok after that. I was calm and back in my element. The game went by fairly smoothly for the first half. The second half came and one of the coaches told me I looked tired so he was taking me out. The head coach would have none of it. He told me if I was tired to get off his field. I told coach I wasn't tired and wanted back in there. That's all he wanted to hear. Out I went ready to prove it. First play and they tried to pass it. I was a short guy back then, and most quarterbacks tried their luck against me. They didn't figure I was fast enough or tall enough to intercept their passes.....WRONG! I interecepted the ball and ran back about 30 yards before I was tackled. That was the icing on the cake for me. We won by a ton that game, but I don't even remember the score.

At then end of the season we were at our party to see who would get the awards for best offensive and defensive players. Top rusher and all that good stuff. Coach came out and told us that he had a special one to present. He called me up front and gave me a plaque that was presented to The Comeback Kid....I received the most inspirational player award that day. No award before or since has meant more to me than that one. He told all the parents and players that day that he was inspired by a 7th grader who gave everything he had to be a part of this team. I was embarrassed by all of the goo he was slinging, but I walked away with my award and my head was held pretty high. Nothing is impossible if you believe enough...There is always Hope.....

Linkin' Up The Monday Minute!

2010-04-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

It's that time again...This is the Monday Minute and you know what that means..Answer em up guys...Head over to Daily Dose of Reality to see Ian's answers..
I think that maybe he should have offered to give a portion of that money to good ol' Bendigo..but hey that's just me.. :)

1 - Ever take a Poo (pg for my boy in case) in the woods?
Well I was in the Military...Umm I'm sure the woods were involved at least once.

2 - If you won $1,000, what's the first thing you would do with it besides give me a cut?
That would be a new flat screen :)

3 - What's your favorite phrase?
Ian's is a close 2nd for me....Mine is "I didn't tell you? Must not be any of your business."

4 - Fill in the blank - the world would be a better place if ______ left the planet.
Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa, Mark McGwire, and every other baseball player that has made my son think that all ball players use steroids :/

5 - How do you take your coffee or tea?
I like my coffee like I like my women. Black and strong...(my wife might take a second look at this one

A Sign of the Times

2010-04-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

I guess that I grew up a child of the 70's. Although I was born in the 60's my childhood until teen years was spent in the 70's. I have so many great memories of playing sports, riding bikes, catching pollywogs at the pond. We would get the wrist rocket (slingshot) and go out shooting cans. There were the occasions with the bb guns as well. All in all we had a great time. In my town there wasn't a great fear of many things happening. No worrying about the crazy guy in the van stealing kids, or gangs. We worried about getting sick sometimes when a bad flu season came, but other than that life was pretty simple.

My first big baseball game was in 1977. I was in the Little League City Championship. This was my first year in little league. Back in those days you played tee ball through 8 years old. Then you would try out for Little League. If you were good enough at 10 you could play major league. If you weren't you played minor league. ALL 9 year olds played minor league. It gave them a chance to learn the fundamentals of the game, and to grow up a little bit and see how the game is really played when not using a tee.

Now everybody on our team was not 9 years old. There were some 10, 11, and even one 12 year old. The important thing was they played at the same level as us 9 year olds. It wasn't a matter of holding someone back to win the minor league games, because kids our age wanted to be in the major league. They wanted to hang out with their other friends that were also on a major league team. So here we were a group of 12 kids. I was the smallest, but I understood the game fairly well. Unfortunately one thing that hasn't changed is the smallest kid usually ends up in right field. Let me correct that statement. The smallest, worst or second left hander on the team. The bigger left hander would be the first baseman. I had two strikes against me. I was the smallest and the second left hander. I didn't care though I loved the game and would play anywhere the put me WITHOUT an argument.

So there I was playing my heart out. Surprisingly enough a good amount of action happens in right field when you are in minor leagues. A lot of the players swing late and hit quite a few balls onto the right side of the field. Needless to say with two good teams we had a busy day in the outfield on both sides.

My coach was a fair man. His name was Harry and his assistant was named Mike. They were both HUGE men. Not just to a kid either. Harry was 6'3" and Mike was 6'4". They both had a number of years playing and coaching baseball and we listened to every word they said. The equalizer on our team was a 10 year old named Brian. He could hit.....HARD! So many homeruns it was crazy. We loved having him on the team and he was a humble kid with a good bat, and even though his glove was only passing good, it was good enough.

So the rules say that every kid plays a minimum of 2 innings in the field and one at bat. I had 4 innings in right field and I must say I had a good day. Two base hits, and I caught a few fly balls and even threw a kid out at second base. The coach told me that I had to stay in the next inning because we had two other kids that needed to play. I was a bit upset but that was the rule and I didn't question coach.

The next inning comes and goes with no damage. 3 up 3 down on both sides of the field. This sets up the last inning and we are in the lead by 1. 6-5 and they have a runner on first. The next kid hits a ball to third base and our player bobbles it. Two kids on base and the next kid up hits a HIGH fly ball to guess where......Right field.....The new right fielder backs up and gets under it just like we had been taught all year long. We are all on our feet, and it's so quiet you could hear a pin drop. I think that our whole bench was holding their breath. He's under it and has his glove open to receive it. One hand under the glove to "guide it in. That's when the ball hits the palm of his glove and he drops it. By the time that poor kid picks up the ball and throws it in the batter had scored an in the park home run. We are now losing by 2 runs. We pat him on the back and tell him don't worry we will get it back.

The bottom of the inning and we get a runner on 1st. The next pitch and he steals 2nd. The batter hits a high fly ball to right field (told you there was action out there). The right fielder catches it and our runner gets to 3rd. That brings up the power hitter. He hits a hard grounder right to the short stop. Our runner jumps off the base and makes the short stop hold the ball so our batter can make it to first. Two runners on base and who comes up to bat? Yep the right fielder. It's only one out so we figure that the worst thing that could happen is he will get out and we have one more chance. First pitch he hits a slow ball to the pitcher who throws to 2nd and then to 1st for the only double play of the game. We lost 8-6.

Do you know what happened after the game to that kid? He went to the pizza party with us and we had a great time. We laughed about the season and all the silly things that happened. There wasn't a cuss word spoken on the field. My parents were out there just like everybody else's parents to hug us and embarass us telling us how wonderful we did.

Funny thing, my life didn't end because I wasn't out in right field to catch that ball. I wasn't up to bat to make a base hit and be the hero. Who knows maybe I would have dropped that ball too (NOT). I coulda struck out or hit into a double play as well(NOT AGAIN). I'll never know, but he made it through all of that as well. Nobody beat him up, he wasn't shunned at school, his parents didn't embarass him by shouting what a loser he was on the field. We just accepted it as part of the game.

I watch a good deal of baseball nowadays. I see coaches cheating to get certain players on the team. I watch parents lie about their childs age so he can get one more year at the younger age group and be the hero. I listen to parents criticize their child on the field, as well as someone else's child. The fact that a child makes a mistake is not acceptable any more. We don't allow our children to learn from those childhood errors. We want them to grow up now. We want them to be just little adults even when they are 10 years old.

I spoke with a friend of mine this weekend. He told me that a sponsor pulled out because they didn't feel they were getting the proper exposure because the team wasn't very good. Are you serious???? These are children. They aren't out there to offer exposure to a business. They are out there to learn how to play a game, but more important than that they are going to take the lessons learned on the field and apply them to the rest of their lives. So parents/coaches remember that when you are teaching your kids how to play. Remember that play is part of the game. It's not all work. It's not all about success either. We learn far more from the hard losses than the easy wins.

It's a sign of the times, that people are moving too fast now. They want to get their kids grown up and out of the house, moving towards their careers before they are teenagers. Here's an idea, let your kid be a kid. Let them experience all the great things that kids are supposed to experience. They will have plenty of time to experience all the crap of adulthood.

So sign your kids up for youth sports and support your local teams. Cheer em on, but don't put em down. Our kids need us to show them how good it CAN be. On a side note, the business that pulled out of sponsorship received such a backlash from a portion of the community that they jumped right back in. I promise you that regardless I won't do business there ever again. They have shown their true colors and that's enough for me. I should also make note that those parents that got together to offer their time and money to cover the expense of sponsorship should be commended. Many of them didn't have the money to do it, but they wanted their children to have that opportunity. Kudos to you!

A Simple Measure of Respect

2010-04-18T01:33:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week a man I worked with for about 13 years passed away. Gary was a machine operator and worked in Shipping/Receiving for many years. He was an old hippy and a true fan of music and the Raiders. He liked it all from 60's era music to opera. I surely didn't agree with his viewpoints on most things, but that didn't matter we enjoyed our arguments and never a bitter word was spoken from that man.

In 31 years he had perfect attendance for I believe 28 years. That's simply amazing to me...He didn't call in sick he didn't come to work late, he didn't leave early. He was there and did his job day in and day out for 31 years with no complaints and a ready comment for you when you passed by. To say that he was congenial is an understatement. Gary didn't have many close friends, but he had a ton of acquaintances. He was forever chatting with someone and you just felt comfortable talking to him.

I wasn't especially close to Gary, but as I said we used to chat, and argue and I enjoyed working with him. I haven't worked for that company for a little over a year now, but I found out about his tragic passing and made sure that I went to his memorial today. There were a couple dozen workers there to pay their last respects to this man. He had many friends and family there as well and it was a nice service that did justice to his memory. It was ended with a nice song that was written and sung by another former co-worker. I felt better as I left realizing that Gary did indeed get to do so many things that he enjoyed throughout his life.

The one really sour point of the day for me was when I realized that neither the Manager of the plant, nor the superintendant, nor even the Human Resources Manager showed up to pay their respects to this man who put his whole life into the company that they represent. I started thinking about that as I left. 31 years is a long time to do anything. They couldn't show this man the most simple measure of respect by being there to tell his father how sorry they were for the loss, and what a great person Gary was.

It impressed me that there were a number of us that don't work at the company any longer that did show up. I hope Gary realizes that not everybody is only concerned with the bottom line.

We will miss you Gary...God Bless you...You were a good man, a tireless worker, and it was my honor to have known you....

What's the Draw? 4

2010-04-18T00:44:00.001-07:00

I apologize for not posting this when I intended..That crappy real life stuff got in the way..More on that later :)

So I have a few more blogs that you really need to check out if you don't already..

Being a father of 3 boys I understand all the good and bad stuff that is coming along with being a dad. I have no idea how it is to be on the other side of it though. Being a mom and grandmother is as foreign to me as say wearing fishnet stockings (how bout you Ian?). I read a couple of blogs that give me some insight into that crazy world and so much more. One of these great women would be Ms. Anthropy Sarcastic Granny. If you want to read someone with a great take on life that's your place. she has a keen (love that word) sense of what's important. A sometimes dry sense of humor, and always an entertaining take on whatever subject she decides to talk about. She has been missing for about a week but normally she is regular as can be (hope everything is ok Ms. Anthropy). Give yourself a treat and check her out.

Super Cop...well ok maybe not super cop, but definitely my kind of cop...Momma Fargo has quickly become one of my favorites. The Boogie Man Is My Friend ...That's somewhere you wanna be. She can write in bunches too, so if you want to hear some hilarious tales of a woman on the "beat" this the place for you. I promise that you will enjoy her straight forward writing style. While you are there definitely read the story about the fat kid errr..andrew...I think this blog should be turned into a sitcom..Great stuff within check it out.

I have one more that I'm going to share with you...I have to confess that I like one particular part of this guy's blog especially...Jerry at My thoughts brought to the light has a pretty unique blog in my opinion. There is a little bit of everything in there for you. Definitely check out the enter the caption blogs they are great. I enjoy his take on things, and I promise they will always make you laugh or cringe..lol..good stuff check him out..

Now I follow a ton more blogs, some are not all that regular so I felt that I should share those that post often so you can get the chance to enjoy these great bloggers as much as I do..check them out and you will be glad you stopped in...

What's the Draw? 3

2010-04-14T22:37:00.001-07:00

So have you checked out those blogs yet? I've sort of been giving you the chronological version of when I found these great blogs. Although the first ones I mentioned absolutely kept me coming back for more, the others have been icing on the cake.

One day I was reading Plainolbob and he mentioned a blogger that had a great impact on him. He suggested (strongly) that we check this amazing woman out. I figured that since I was only following about 75 blogs at the time (yeah not kidding) I could surely fit one more in the group. That's when I found Rae. Weather Vane is a must read. I remember the first time I checked it out after the suggestion from bob. I was totally blown away. Rae has a wonderful writing style. She gives you insight into her adventures as a grandmother, her past as a nurse and she has a great way of putting you into a differnt time when she tells about a little piece of her past. Very uplifting blog, and I always come away feeling better for reading her post.
If you don't follow Rae yet, I would highly suggest it...

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live an adventurous life? I often felt that I had enjoyed some adventure in my short life until I started reading Rambling Russ. This guy has done it, seen it, or watched it. If you want some excitement this post is a great example. Russ gets bonus points from me because my son absolutely loves his stories. We read them together and he has told me that they are much better than any history lesson he has received at school so far. Check this gifted writer out and you will be pleasantly surprised.

I was a huge tv fanatic growing up. I loved all the old shows, like Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, Leave it to Beaver. The list goes on and on. Imagine my delight to one day be jumping around checking out blogs and finding one that wanted me to guess a theme song....I was unfortunately too late because the answer had already been given. In fact almost everytime now I'm too late but I don't care I just listen to it and guess before checking the comments :) These are those theme posts I'm talking about here.

I Think It's Interesting written by none other than ASBLACKASOBAMA. Or as we like to call him ABAO. Great posts about a ton of differnt stuff. If you check back a few posts you will see some really cool pics from the recent earthquake (check the post to figure out which earthquake I'm talking about). He has an interesting take on so many things and if you like pics then check it out. Lots of good stuff and more importantly quality writing.

Did you ever watch soap operas? I confess that when I was a young teenager I stayed at my grandparents house during the summer a lot. I got hooked on a couple that I watched with my grandmother. The thing I enjoyed the most was coming up with a name for them. Some of them were pretty good. I think I found a great name for a new soap opera...The Shadow of my Life. This is a great story...It's about a father named Cappy Joey and..oh wait...that's just his name when he is scamming the scammers. Joe at The Shadow of my Life is a newer blog for me. I found that I really like his writing style. He has a very natural way about his writing that just puts you at ease. Lately he has been giving a little back to some scammers that are trying to pull one over on him. You can find the latest installment here. Along with some great Dad and daughter stories and some really cool pics you will have a great time at this blog. So do yourself a favor and check him out.

I will have one more group for you guys tomorrow....Stay tuned :)

There's No Waiting at Register 3

2010-04-13T23:18:00.000-07:00

We are all aware of the economic crisis. It's affected pretty much everybody everywhere. The lower than average employment leads my little pea brain to think that maybe there are a whole lot of pretty qualified people out there looking for work. With things the way they are people are not all the picky about the salary. They want employment, which allows them beneifts. Hell even part time work gets you part time benefits in many areas.

Which leads me to wonder this.....If there are indeed that many people looking for work and I'm quite sure that a number of them are qualified. Why oh why does my local dollar tree insist upon hiring the absolute epitome of moron for their cashier positions??? I will give you a little example and you decided for yourself.

I went into the dollar tree for soda. They offer these HUGE 3 ltr. bottles of off brand soda for yep you guessed it $1. That's a pretty good deal, and even though I don't drink soda, my kids like to have a root beer with dinner on occasion (every chance they get). So while there I get a few items and head on up to the register. Now there to greet me is.....Well nobody...The "cashier" wasn't at the register. I figured maybe she was busy with other duties, until I realized that there are 4 employees in the store and I'm the only customer. So we can mark off other things to do. She finally comes dragging her fat A#@ up to the register. (I'm not sure if it was fat, just a figure of speech mind you).

She proceeds to check me out (my items not my fat old ass). I had a total of 7 items. Not exactly weekly shopping at the grocery store. While she was slowly scanning my meager items across the scanner her friend walked into the store with a small child. The girl stopped what she was doing to holler at her friend and start talking to the child in baby talk. I was thinking she was slow, but at least she was moving, but now she stopped all together just to talk to friend and kid. I'm about 3 seconds away from an aneyurism or embolism or some friggin kind of ism. She takes another few minutes to finish my items and then tells me the price. I give her money and she sat there...YES SAT THERE trying to figure out how much change to give me. It turns out that the register was on the fritz and was telling her the wrong amount. Now normally I would help out. I have 14 years experience as a cashier and I come from a time that we didn't have registers telling us what the change was. We had to actually do some form of math to figure it out. This time I let her figure it out all by herself. Then I told her that she didn't give me enough back, and without checking she handed me another $10. I just stared at her. She didn't even look twice at me. I threw (yes threw) the money back at her and walked out the store. I didn't get the wrong change, but I felt like being irritating and was hoping for some response. Since she just took me at face value and gave me what amounted to more money than I originally gave her in the first place, I decided it wasn't worth my time.

This girl was dumb, lazy, unkempt (real word?), unprofessional, dumb, rude, dumb, ignorant, and oh yeah DUMB! Why an establishment would offer this waste of my oxygen a job is beyond me. She has no business working anywhere that money or humans are involved. She would do much better collecting cans. I have a feeling before long she will indeed be self-employed doing exactly that job.

So to you dollar tree, don't be surprised if you get a Get A Life! award sent to you in the mail. Because that winner of a cashier has made you now eligible for the coveted award.

What's the Draw 2?

2010-04-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

I told ya I was going to put out some of those blogs that kept me here, and also some of those great ones I've found since. I figure this is a good time for part 2.

I kept reading because of those that I've mentioned, BUT...There were a few others that really caught my eye.

Writersoup;fuel for the mind and more importantly that particular post got me sucked in to the world of Desertson. This guy is a Farmer, a father, and a writer...He has stories on top of stories...If you get digging around his blog you will find some stories from his childhood that are just priceless (you will laugh till it hurts). AND his daughter sings like an angel..Just check out some of his youtube links to his daughter singing..

Tina at The Clean White Page drew me in with stories like that one. If you want to be scared out of your mind, creeped out, jumping at shadows, then go check her blog out. She is a truly talented writer with an amazing gift. I can't do her justice with my feeble words, just go read a few stories...And while you are there say a prayer for her... She has had some tragedy in her life...We Love you Tina!

So have you ever had that home project? You want to do it, but you don't know if you have the money or know how to accomplish it. Well lucky for you I have an answer...You just need to jump over to Jan @ bobbypinsboardwalk and make sure you check out that do it yourself project she accomplished..WOW!! I get more ideas than I can possibly do from this site...She is awesome and you should check it out..Great ideas!

Ever wonder what Ian would be like as a woman (no I don't mean the pics of him in fishnets)? Well I have your answer...Just go check out Lisa Marie at The Domestication of a Party Girl She is a tell it like it is kinda girl. She's a proud mom, and she puts up some hilarious stuff and don't forget a really good rant....I started reading her not long after Daily Dose and the similarities are amazing. I think these two were separated at birth...Great stuff!

I have two more groups of bloggers that you really need to hear about and I'll put them up real soon. I'm sorta going in chronological order of when I found these great sites..so check back (If anybody is still reading)

Get a Life! New and improved awards

2010-04-12T19:02:00.000-07:00

I see all these nice awards going around the blogosphere. They are a great way to show another blogger how much we think about their post, or their blog in general and many times in the type of person they have presented themselves.

I have decided that there are others that deserve some recognition too. These are the total losers of the world. They don't need to be on a blog to receive this award though. This is the Get a Life! award. This is for that person or agency that has nothing better to do than make life difficult for those of us trying to live life. They are bitter or possibly on a power trip. Regardless of the why, they are generally a horse's ass and deserve all the bad luck that I can muster.

So without further ado I present the first official Get a Life! award.

This goes to my local neighborhod revitalization agency. These fine people are supposed to make sure that nobody has junk cars parked in their yard up on blocks or on the street. They are supposed to ensure that the neighborhood looks well neighborly. Sounds good in theory..BUT... These jerks put a notice on my 2002 Windstar. Now I don't have a picture at this time, but my Van is in perfect shape on the outside. It has a bad transmission, and my wife and I hadn't decided if we wanted to spend the money to fix it. So we put a non-op on it and parked it in our driveway. Now the only thing that leads you to believe this car is not being used is the fact that the tags are outdated. It doesn't have that pretty white non-op tag on it. It turns out that it doesn't matter. If we have a non-op on the car according to this agency we still have to park it in the garage where nobody can be bothered with having to see this eyesore. I've decided that either this group has done such a good job of clearing out the bad cars that they are now at the point where they are just bothersome, OR they are so incompetent that they would rather harass me then go to the rougher neighborhoods and tell the gang bangers to get rid of their crap cars.

Either way here's to you Neighborhood Revitalization Agency...You so totally suck and deserve nothing more than to be disbanded...

Linkin' up The Monday Minute

2010-04-12T08:27:00.001-07:00

Well I have to admit this one is a bit more "extreme" than the norm even for Ian.

That said...Here are the questions for the Monday Minute...I sure hope my kid doesn't read my blog... lol

You can find Ian's answers here.

At what age did you lose your virginity?
Well that depends on your definition of losing virginity. If you mean actual sex 18, if you mean well other things closely related to actual sex 13...

Any good sex tips or advice?
My advice for the guys....You are not a stud if you are done in 3 minutes and snoring in 4. There's somebody else in the dance...

Lights on or off when you have sex?
Lights??? Like I really think about the damn light at that time...

Have you ever been caught in the act of having sex?
Well actually, right after the act, but never during that I can recall.

Ever catch your parents (or kids) having sex?
Well sort of...(parents not kids). I'm considering some therapy or maybe a lot of Jack Daniels to work through that.

What's the Draw?

2010-04-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

I am the first to admit I'm a relative newbie to blogging. I enjoy it and at times even obsess about it (personality flaw). There are some pretty great blogs out there, and some that are just not my cup of tea. Doesn't mean they aren't good, they just aren't good for me.

I started out reading Plain ol' Bob, and was able to get my laugh for the day. I followed a couple of people that don't even blog anymore, but the posts I read were great. Maybe they just lost interest. Then I found Kristy, well I actually found her website and got sucked into her story. That's when my perception about the blogosphere changed.

I always read articles in the news and then went down to the comments section to begin arguing with somebody else about what the author had posted. Never had I considered just reading someones blog. Between Bob and Kristy I found that I could get to like this stuff.

Others came into my scope soon after, and I'm going to tell you about a few of them. These are the blogs that got me hooked, and even though there are so many more that now keep my attention as well, these are the few that made me want to stick round and read.

I mentioned Kristy and if you haven't ever read her blog you are really missing out on a treat. She has the ability to go from organized and proper to random in .3 seconds. It's truly amazing, how quickly I can get sucked into her thoughts. Great stuff at every turn. Kristy will take you on a trip through her world. Not just her cool employer (well it sounds cool), but her exercise battles, relationship quirks, her kitty, freaky neighbor...The list goes on and on. She is also a great commenter. If you don't follow you need to check her blog out. It's definitely worth reading.
This Train of Thought has been Derailed in case you missed the link up top.

Can't get too far without mentioning Ian can you? Ian one day commented on a post of mine. I saw the pic on his profile and being the Superman fan that I am (insert sarcastic facial expression here) I decided to check out the blog. I was amazed that he had a spattering of followers. The guy writes some real world stuff. If you don't like it, too bad. He writes what he thinks and doesn't apologize. He suddenly has found a huge following after all the time he has been blogging. It couldn't have happened to a more deserving blogger. Ian is a friend indeed. We have never met in person, but I am quite sure that he would treat me like he's known me forever should we ever meet. Daily Dose of Reality If you don't follow I highly recommend you do.

Sarah Landry Writer in Making is a must read if you don't already. This is an honest upfront blog from a very intelligent young woman who is wise beyond her years. She is a bit shy at times, and doesn't see what those of us that read her blog see. She offers up perspective like very few people I know. The greatest thing about Sarah's blog it's so dang honest. She really tells you what she feels. If you are lucky enough to catch a 3 am post you will absolutely love it (keep doin those sarah). She gives us a taste of her life, the good the bad and the ugly ( check out her dentist fiasco). Great read and always worth your time. Check her out here.

Coach your Mind. Do you read Dayne Gingrich? If you don't you are missing out. This is somebody that gets it. More important he puts it into words so you can get it to. The guy is a true Life Coach... I have printed out posts of his and taped them on my desk. Yeah I catch flack from some co-workers, but they also read em too :) I can't describe all he has to say in this little summary. Just go read and decide for yourself..Find Dayne here.

There are a ton more that I read regular now. These few are the reason I continued to peruse the blog community though. Without these few blogs to keep me interested I would have never found some of the great blogs I read now.

I'm going to take the next few days and give you guys a glimpse of some of the great blogs I read. I hope you take a few minutes and check them out as we go.

Who's This Pay it Forward Friday LINK IT UP!!!!

2010-04-08T22:32:00.001-07:00

Alright, if you are dead then you might not know that Ian is having his weekly contest. There are tons of questions for you to answer...go check it out here ....Basically what you need to do is figure out who is who and I promise you it isn't gonna be easy. I follow and read Ian ALL THE TIME...but there are some that I just don't know because I can't possibly follow all his readers as well as my norms (The Tribe is getting larger). Do yourself a favor and check it out. the prize this week is actually two prizes and they come from Mimi's Etsy shop Just so you know cool blog and great stuff...Check it out...you will have a little fun for sure.

so why are you still here again??? go to Daily Dose of Reality and get crackalackin......

Family Ties 4

2010-04-07T15:30:00.000-07:00

Family Ties 3

The young man was a father and nothing could make him happier. He realized that he truly loved having someone to care for. His wife was in a good mood most of the time. In fact he thought she had never been happier than she was during those first couple of years. The young child began to walk and talk. He found a way to get things off the tables and counters. The young man realized that "baby proof" isn't really all that it's cracked up to be. He even overlooked the fact that the girl would blame him everytime the toddler did something. He knew that she was just having a bad day, or was just tired. He never blamed her for her actions he simply ignored the anger in her voice and took care of the problem. Finally one night his wife came to him and said "I want another baby." He hesitated only a second before agreeing. After all one child had done wonders for his family. Another would make it only better.

She had to have the same surgery to repair the problems she had conceiving. After a few months she was indeed pregnant again. With a small child and morning sickness, the girl was not quite the happy camper she had been during the first pregnancy. She was often moody. At those times, the young man knew to stay out of sight and out of mind. He would often take his son for walks or out front to look at flowers and bugs. That didn't usually last long as she would be at the door to complain about him letting their boy get dirty, and catch all manner of sicknesses that those dirty bugs must have. He would agree and bring the boy inside to clean him up. Often they would just sit and look at picture books until she found some other reason to tell the young man what he was doing that was wrong.

Fortunately for the young family, this pregnancy was on time and without complication. They had a second healthy baby boy. A mirror image of the first child. The young man was happy again, because she was happy again. He always sensed that as long as she remained content everybody else in the family would be ok. He either failed or refused to notice that while she loved the children, she could never say anything good about them without first saying something critical. the oldest received the worst of it. She would always tell him what a messy, rude child he was and then in the next breath tell him how much she loved her little boy.
As the younger child began to grow, he received the same treatment. She loved her children she just didn't understand how to tell them. She even believed that she still loved her husband, although when she was honest with herself she blamed him for her moody personality. She never considered the possibility that she was depressed.

The next few years were ok, but there were many arguments. The young man had become tired of taking the blame for all things in the house. He began to fight back. He would bring up her shortcomings when she would criticize him. It didn't take long before he was working more and more. His small business began to grow with him so engrossed in work. They began to see the benefits of his hard work and moved to a larger home. She never once considered complimenting him for the hard work he did. After all it was his job as far as she was concerned. She took care of the children, and he was expected to take care of making the money. That was how it worked for her parents and they had done ok.

The next year she was ready to move again. The young man was constantly at work now. He told her that wherever she wanted to go was fine with him. She found the next house and he moved them in. So began the cycle. The young man would work from morning to night, sometimes not getting home until early morning hours. He wasn't being unfaithful to his wife, he just traded his family for his work. He saw the kids on weekends and he made sure to make their school events. As they began to enter youth sports he always made sure to attend every game. He would cheer them on quietly from the side of the bleachers or out behind a fence. He never got to be the dad shouting in the bleachers "That's my Boy!". Mom was proud when her children did well but couldn't understand why she couldn't offer them a single compliment at those times.

The years began to pass him by and they moved. Every year they moved, and he questioned her once on it. It turned out that she liked the feeling of starting over with a clean slate. A new house offered her that opportunity. The children never complained about moving any longer. They knew what it meant when mom got the plastic bins out of the garage. They had learned not to get too attached to neighborhood kids because it wouldn't be long before they had to start again.

There were two brothers separated by 3 years. They grew up moving around a little bit...

Quick note...This is based loosely on a number of people I know or have known over the years. My wife went through the terrible labor, a really good friend of mine once used to drive 4 hours to see his girlfriend on the weekends (and she did meet another guy during that time). I got to thinking about some kids I've dealt with and this seemed to be a common theme amongst those with problems. A broken family. Not just a divorced one, but a broken one. I thought I'd maybe bring a little glimpse of what a broken family looks like from my perspective. Sorry for the grammar but I felt that I should leave the characters without a name, because they are anybody who has been in this situation... Anyway I hope you enjoyed my little tale..

Family Ties 3

2010-04-07T14:30:00.000-07:00

Family Ties 2

Months went by and everything seemed to calm down a bit. The boy found out the name of this "friend" and was given a little more information from his girlfriend. It turned out that he had a girlfriend and they had broken up, he wanted to get back together with her, and was just looking for someone to talk to. The boy thought this was pretty convenient, but his girlfriend promised not to keep anything else from him. She told him she knew they had to be able to trust each other. so every time this boy talked with her she let him know. She told him just enough to keep him satisfied. On Valentines Day he was there with a promise ring, and flowers. Ready to take her out for a nice dinner, and a show. She told him that she loved the gift, but didn't seem really into the evening. He came to find out later that her "friend" had indeed gotten back together with his girlfriend. It seems his girlfriend didn't think it was such a hot idea for him to hang around with another girl. So he told her goodbye and that was it. The boy felt bad for his girlfriend in some strange way. Although the immediate threat was gone, he realized that this was one of the things that kept her in a decent mood. He knew that depression was a real possibility for her, if she didn't find friends. It turns out that a few of his friends had been around the girl enough to realize that she was ok. They began to hang out and the girl had finally managed some friends. It was all coming together for her in a small way. The prom was left, and she knew she had a date to that if her boyfriend would consider hanging out with High School kids again. It turns out she didn't have a worry he wanted to do anything to make the girl happy and that was a small price to pay for a smile.

Prom night came and went. As it came to pass so did her virginity, later that night under the stars on a blanket in the sand. In that moment he knew that she had been at least that faithful to him. Years later he would look back at that moment and realize that was the moment he knew they didn't have a chance. He realized that when he thought of her being only partially faithful is when he should have known he couldn't be with somebody that he couldn't trust. She never did believe that he waited for her. She assumed that he was like every other boy. He would get it where he could when he could. That night opened more problems than it ever solved with that one act.

They continued to see each other and she was soon graduated. At this time she found out that her father had been unfaithful. He had been cheating on her mother for years and finally came clean and moved out. The girl was devastated once again. Every time her life seemed to be falling in order, something else came along to smash it. She found out that he only bought the business to be closer to his girlfriend. For the first time the girl realized that her father had used the family as a tool to gain what he desired.

Her mother decided to move away. She would go back to that town with her familiar friends and a job waiting for her. The oldest daughter wanted desperately to move back. She finally talked her mom into letting her. They would share in the expenses until her mom got back on her feet. The younger daughter wanted to stay with her father. she liked where she lived and had all of her new friends close by. The parents decided that it was probably best if she stayed. That was the beginning of the end for the family. Without the facade of a family the mother didn't know how to act. She didn't like the pitiful looks she got, and she didn't like the concerned questions either. She decided the best way to avoid all of it was to find another man. She didn't understand that you don't find a good man at a bar. It took her a few years to finally realize that simple lesson, unfortunately what she didn't learn was that you don't get a man that has a wife either. She forgot too quickly how devastating an affair could be on a relationship. Not just the adults, but the kids and the extended family that are affected as well. She became the same as the woman whom she blamed for ruining her life.

The girl moved back and soon after moved in with the boy. They had an apartment and for a brief time were happy. They decided that it was time to get married. A big wedding at a big church, followed by a huge reception at a beautiful banquet hall. All of their family and friends were there. The boy was in heaven. This was what he had wanted his whole life. To start his own family. To be a husband and work in the yard, having his wife come out with iced tea and watch him work. Quiet evenings, just the two of them having a nice dinner and discussing their day and what plans they would make for the weekend. They were nice visions, unfortunately real life doesn't always work that way.

Arguments began to rule the household. The girl figured that her husband wouldn't be happy with her and her alone. She figured that he would be just like her father and find somebody else. She didn't realize that she was constantly pushing him away. That young girl that needed somebody was gone. A bitter young woman, mad at the world is what remained. The boy felt trapped. His friends had all given up trying to come around. She ran them off, always professing they had things to do. The house was miserable most of the time. That was when she came to him and said "I want to have a child."

Foolishly the boy thought that was a great idea. They would have a child and complete the image he had made of what the family should be. A young strapping son to carry on the family name. To go hunting, and fishing. He would play sports and the young man would be the proud father in the stands telling everyone "That's my boy!" It would be perfect. Try as they would they couldn't get pregnant. Now some people would say that was a sign. The young couple didn't think so. The young woman was convinced it was her husband's fault. He was probably unable to have children. She was quick to blame him for most things, and he had learned to not argue too much about most of it. It turned out that it was her, not him. There was a surgery that would fix the problem. Immediately she agreed. The procedure was done, and 3 months later she was pregnant.

Things seemed better when the girl was pregnant. She seemed happier than she had been in a long time. The boy started to think that maybe this would be the turning point. This would be when all things came together and the pieces of the puzzle that were her heart would fit together. Whatever she wanted she got. Whenever she wanted it he would get it. Fast food, was a constant demand. All the late night workers at the fast food restaurants knew the young man well by the time 9 months and 2 weeks had passed. As she was a little late, the doctors decided to help it along. So finally two weeks past her due date they showed up at the hospital to begin what turned out to be 1 1/2 days of pure hell. A hard pregnancy is what the nurse called it. Sheer hell is what the young man called it. He had to watch the woman he loved going through such misery, and he didn't know if he could take it. Finally the young man was the father of a healthy baby boy. Perfect in every way. He couldn't believe that he was half the reason for this young life.

To be continued..............

Family Ties 2

2010-04-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

Family Ties

With only 2 weeks before school starting it was difficult to make many friends. The oldest girl was a senior and she only knew 2 people at the school. One was her sister and one was a friend of her sister's. The first few weeks were brutal. A naturally withdrawn girl anyway, it wasn't easy for her to make friends. The one thing she had going for her was that she was very attractive. That also turned out to be a drawback. The boys were attracted to her, and the girls were jealous. In the end not many people approached her. She was either pretty enough that a girlfriend would be threatened, or pretty enough that a boyfriend was afraid his girlfriend would get mad. The one nice surprise for her was that her boyfriend showed up every weekend. He borrowed a car that he could trust for the trip and made sure he was packed and left as soon as he was off work on Friday. He loved the girl, and more importantly he wanted to protect her. She started to realize that this guy might be for real after all.

The younger sister didn't have nearly as much trouble making friends. In all fairness she had an advantage. She was only a freshman, and she was outgoing. She would befriend anybody, just to have someone nearby. This girl cared about appearances and not much else. It was actually sad that a girl so young could be so vain. It turns out that a good portion of that was insecurity. She NEEDED to have attention. Older sister, took it like everything else in stride on the outside, but she was depressed. She found herself looking forward to those weekends, when the one familiar thing would be in her life. She managed to keep in touch with a few people "back home", but only a couple of them had time for writing letters that much. This was before cell phones, so a call was long distance, and you paid a pretty penny to make it. It turns out that not many 16 and 17 year olds have that kind of cash.

Things changed for her one afternoon, when she met a boy at school. He seemed nice and was just trying to be friendly with her. She finally ended up talking to him a bit but, she felt guilty afterwards. She was attracted to this boy. He told her that he understood she had a boyfriend but he wanted to help her make some friends at the new school. She was afraid to tell her boyfriend about this new guy, so she just mentioned him in passing. "Met a boy in school today, finally somebody who isn't so stuck up." She left it at that and hoped not many questions would follow. The boyfriend was happy for her, but he too felt a little tinge of something. Maybe it was jealousy. He realized that this boy would get to spend 5 days a week with his girlfriend and whether she like him or not, that is enough time to develop some feelings. He understood how the mind of a teenage boy works, and he also knew that a pretty girl in a new school is a prime target for some boys. Nothing else was said about it, as he didn't want to upset her. That was the first clue if he would have been paying more attention.

The boyfriend continued to show up every weekend, but something was different. The girl didn't seem to be there all the time. Her mind was wandering somewhere else, and he couldn't figure it out. The other boy didn't come into his mind, because she hadn't mentioned anything else about him. One day while he was getting ready to go visit, he got a phone call. The girl told him that she couldn't see him this weekend, because the family was going to the beach "as a family". She would talk to him when she got home on Sunday. He said ok, and for the first time in months had a free weekend at home. He spent it catching up with his friends, and found that most of them didn't have a whole lot to say about his girlfriend. They almost seemed to be avoiding the subject. Finally a good friend of his told him, "Sounds like maybe she found somebody else." The boy was shocked and angry, but he simply made an excuse and went home. He needed some time to think and couldn't do it around a bunch of loud obnoxious teenage boys. He got home and his mom told him that he had a message from the younger sister. Now why would she want to talk to him, they didn't even get along that well.

The younger sister simply wanted to tell him that there was somebody else in the picture. She did it, not to help out, but to hurt the boy. It worked wonders as all manner of images ran through his mind. Anger and betrayal were the first thoughts, then came sadness and finally, an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. He had thought this was the girl for him. Within hours he had made up his mind. He was going to fight for this girl. One way or another he would get to the botom of this. In the car and down the road. Speed limit signs were a blur. 100 mph through mountain passes that shouldn't be traveled over 50 or 55. He made it to the house in record time. Everybody was there.....Except his girlfriend. The mother was a bit smug as she explained that her daughter was out with a friend and she wasn't sure when they would be back. The father took a more measured approach. He took the boy outside and explained to him, that maybe their time was done. He told the boy that he appreciated how much he had done for his daughter, but some things aren't meant to be. "Just let her decide what she wants to do." That was the last thing the boy heard before he went back to his car. He drove down the street and sat in the convenience store parking lot. He wasn't going anywhere. She was going to answer some questions and they would get to the bottom of this NOW!

A few hours later he saw them drive by. He didn't immediately follow he waited a good ten minutes and then he drove back over. She was in the front yard crying when he pulled up. She came running to the car crying and apologizing. Telling him that nothing happened and they were just friends. She didn't want him to be upset because the only friend she had made was a boy. She loved him, would never cheat on him. He meant everything to her. He heard the words and wanted to believe her, but something down deep inside told him that she lied. She was telling him what she thought he wanted to hear. His better judgement left him when he saw those tears continue to roll down her face. "I understand, and I love you. Whatever makes you happy is all I care about." She had him hook line and sinker. She didn't even realize she had manipulated him. It was something that came so natural to her, that she didn't see it for what it really was. Her father had taught her something after all.

to be continued

Family Ties

2010-04-06T07:57:00.001-07:00

There were two daughters, separated by 3 years. They grew up moving around a little bit. Never in the same place all that long. Maybe not moving out of town, but house to house was the order of the day. It didn't seem to hurt the children on the outside, but on the inside where it mattered there were changes. Those girls learned to never make really good friends, because after all they would just move away and that hurt too much. So their childhood was spent entertaining each other more than other children. you would think that these 2 sisters would be thicker than thieves.

The teen years hit, and of course things changed a little bit. One was a teen the other still pre and everybody knows that puberty does some funny things to the mind (as well as the body). The girls would still hang out, but maybe not so much as before. The oldest had discovered boys, and that opened a whole new world. Her dad was too busy making a living to pay all that much attention to what the girls did. he was usually only around on the weekends. They found out later, that making a living wasn't necessarily working, he had other "interests" that didn't include making money. They did include other women though.

Their mom tried in the best way she could to make a normal home for the girls, but she was ill-equipped to handle anything that required that much emotional involvement. It seems the whole family had a pretty huge emotional detachment. The girls continued to grow up learning to be cordial without getting attached. Eventually both girls were teens and that's where the headaches began.

The youngest of them thought that boys were just objects to be used for whatever she could make them do. She was a pretty girl, and when she wanted to she could be oh so sweet. Not many would guess that she was a borderline sociopath. This girl was basically without conscience. The oldest tried harder to be the kind of person she thought was expected. besides that she wanted so much to be praised by her parents. She did well in school, never got in trouble, and did her chores. Funny thing, how parents are automatically drawn to the troublemakers, they think they need to fix what's wrong. They don't understand that sometimes, all they need to do is pay some more attention to their child. That younger daughter was making waves, not big ones, just enough to get her on the radar with her parents. She figured out that the best way to get attention from them was to get into a little bit of trouble. Then they would come running in to try and fix the problem.

A few more years ran by and the older girl was in a relationship. She was serious about this, or so she thought. Soon to be a senior in high school, she looked forward to being with him. He had defended her against everybody and everything that stood in front of her. For the first time in her life, she understood what it meant to have somebody love her unconditionally. It scared her though, because deep down she knew this couldn't last. She had learned that lesson a long time ago. As soon as you start to really care about somebody, that was when everything went bad and either they would move or the object of her affection would. Sure enough her father came home one afternoon, just as summer vacation had started. "We are moving." It turns out that he had a chance to buy a business and they just couldn't pass up the opportunity. Once again her theory was proven correct. Fall in love and get hurt. What was the point really.

She knew she had to tell her boyfriend the bad news. He took it in stride, never complained or got bitter that she could see. She just figured he was already figuring other girls he could get. So they enjoyed their summer, but she always remembered that it would be only a matter of weeks until her life would have to start over yet again. The hot months flew by, and they had a great time. He had graduated that year, and although he worked much of the time he would always find time to get to her house, or write her a letter (that's when people write down words on paper). Before she knew it August was over. Summer had come to and end.

The family moved about 3 1/2 hours away. The boyfriend helped move them into the new house, and told her that he would visit often. She knew he was just being nice. After all how could he drive 3 1/2 hours that often while he was working. Plus she had one more year of school. Things couldn't look worse for her. She hated her family, she hated her life, and she hated her boyfriend for trying to be nice. She wanted everybody and everything to go away. So many times she had secretly wished that she was brave enough to just end it all. She realized that she didn't have that courage to take her life though. She was resigned to the fact that she would have to endure yet another new town, and another new school. Somehow she would have to find people to at least hang around with for the year. After all she would be a senior and she was coming into a school where everybody had known each other for at least 6 years, and in many cases much longer. She knew that this would be a year to forget. Why couldn't her dad just find work in town, and she could try to be normal and get to be with her friends for her last year of high school. She thought him a bastard, but just as quickly was guilty for thinking such a thing. She loved him so much that she didn't say a word. She was convinced that Dad was doing this for the family. She didn't realize at that young age that her dad was indeed a bastard. He was selfish and narrow minded. He destroyed his children's youth for his gain, and thought nothing of it.

To be continued..............

The Monday Minute recycled! Linkin' it Up

2010-04-05T12:42:00.000-07:00

Well it's that time again...If you haven't been to Ian's Daily Dose then now is the time... I'll offer up my take on these oh so thought provoking questions....

What's wrong with fake breasts?
Well....I don't like em, but hey I wouldn't be the one that had em either...If my wife wanted them I would say okie dokie (or something similar)..The only thing "wrong" with them from my perspective is they feel well......fake...

List your latest run-in with the Carnival of Idiocy.
I could make a post of this..oh yeah I did...child support services in the state of California (KALEEFOHNEEA if you listen to the govenator). Morons!

Name one thing you'd like to tell your ten year ago self.
Quit that damn job...They are killing you and don't give a damn...There are better things out there GO FIND EM!

What's your favorite word that's not in the dictionary?
Butt Munch

Why do fools fall in love?
The only people calling them fools are the ones not in love ....

Go check out Ian and make sure you read his answers..(they are always friggin' great)...Also make sure you check him out the rest of the week..He is going to give us the inside scoop on him and the wife :)

Controversy Anyone?

2010-04-01T09:54:00.000-07:00

I have been reading too much from Ian I think. I normally don't make too many issues on here to cause any offense BUT I figured that today could be one of those days that maybe I will. So be warned now that I'm not gonna talk about butterflies and rainbows, but something with a little more bite to it.

Gay marriage is a huge controversy right now. Gay rights and civil rights in general seem to be coming to the front of the news more and more. My view on Gay marriage.....I'm against it...OK did you guys get done cussing at me yet? Let me also say that I'm against the idea of the Government sanctioning any marriage and that means heterosexual marriage as well. I don't think it's the right venue for marriage.

Marriage in my opinion is between you and the person you love and, if you so believe, in your God PERIOD......... I was raised to believe certain things and as I get older I question some of them, and make up my own mind whether I agree with it or not. I don't need a priest or a politician or a school teacher for that matter making those decisions for me. I don't think it's the place of the school to tell my child whether it's ok either. That's MY job.

I am gonna get pulled away from the point here (yet again). In my humble opinion if 2 people want to be together and recognized by the state as a couple it should indeed be a union. Don't call it a marriage, that one word seems to cause more damage than most. The purpose of people wanting this equality with marriage is for the benefits that come from the marriage. Marriage is a predominantly religious ceremony. A civil union on the other hand is not. It's what it suggests. That's the only place the state and our personal lives, who we love, who we live with, who we will leave our belongings with should come together.

I know people that are gay. It turns out I know a lot more gay people than I realized. Those that I've talked to don't care if it's the M for marriage tag they get as long as they get the same considerations from the Government that a heterosexual couple gets. In so far as that is concerned I agree. I don't have to agree with a homosexual lifestyle to agree that people should be treated the same.

For the record I'm conservative. I'm not Republican, but I am definitely conservative. I'm not an extremist, I don't care about BO's birth certificate, I don't believe in killing abortion doctors (I don't agree with abortion either BTW). So don't believe that all conservatives are crazy gun toting(nothing wrong with gun toting) bible thumping (or thumping the occasional bible) backward ass rednecks (ok maybe something wrong with that) that live in the hills and shoot every stranger that walks up to the militia HQ. Some of us are sensible thinking normal people that happen to believe that some things about our country are right. Don't get me wrong a bunch of things are not so good, but there isn't anything that we can't fix if we work at it a little bit.

I have come to notice there is a pretty diverse line of thinking in the blogosphere. I have also happened to notice that just because we don't all agree on everything doesn't mean that we don't still read stuff that others are writing and even find some common ground on so many issues. I think that gay marriage is the same as any other issue facing us, it just needs people with a level way of thinking to realize that there is a solution. The solution is not to yell at each other and resort to childish name calling. That's unfortunately the phase we seem to be in right now...

So holler and scream all you want, but just remember that the only way we get any of this resolved is to realize that everybody has the right to their own beliefs, but nobody has the right to force those beliefs down our throats. Both sides of this argument need to wise up (grow up) and realize that. Nobody is completely innocent or guilty in this argument. We just need to find a way to meet in the middle.

My 2 cents.... Your 2 cents are also most welcome :)

Stepping Up to the Soap Box Again!

2010-03-31T12:53:00.001-07:00

"I am not a criminal." This phrase was adamantly professed by Tricky Dick. For those of you not familiar with American Politics Richard Nixon. While I don't have many things in common with Richard Nixon, this will be one of them. I am adamantly professing I AM NOT A CRIMINAL!

I'm sure that a few of you saw my post some time back regarding an issue I had with child support. I am a divorced and remarried father. I have a son from a previous marriage and I have been paying faithfully for 15 1/2 years. He's my kid and I love him dearly. He spends a great deal of time with me, and even though I could have gone back to court to get the payment arrangements changed, I figured if it's not hurting me, maybe it can help him (finacially) so I left it.

I won't go into all the specifics from last time, but the bottom line is I have been paying a double payment because of some dishonesty by the other parent. I was foolish enough to try and help out and got burned, so now I'm basically at the mercy of the California Department of Child Support Services. They are essentially in the same category as Macy's to me... Call em the devil or the anti-christ it's the same thing...

I sent about 5 letters and made so many phone calls it's not even funny. I had my money returned the last time (except for that $100 that BofA keeps for an admin fee). This time they did it again without warning. I'm fed up with their system of doing things. There is no way short of spending all the time and MONEY you need for court to get this resolved. The child support system is purely a collection agency. They don't care or want to know what the situation is. They don't want to be bothered with the specifics of anything. Just pay on time and they will leave you alone. Don't pay on time, or have an issue and you are gonna have problems. A levy on your bank account, a lien on your home, your drivers license could get suspended. There are a number of things they could do, and more things that they threaten to do.

I sent one more letter in an attempt to get some reaction from these less than cooperative people. I'm gonna share that with you. Maybe it was a bit over the top but I don't think so.

To Whom it May Concern,

On Friday March 12, 2010 my bank account had $100.00 removed from it. That left my account with approximately ____ in it. I was informed by the bank that the charge was a non-refundable fee for a levy that is placed on our checking account. This is the second time this has occurred. The last time the account had the money returned to it with no explanations to how or when it happened. I have sent numerous emails without a single response. I would like to know what purpose it serves to apply this levy to an account that doesn't even have the money to cover the cost of the levy? All this has done is cause another hardship upon the remainder of my family.

I would like this matter resolved, and I'm concerned that nobody seems to have the time to respond to a simple email regarding the matter. I have tried phone calls to the local office and have been sent repeatedly to this email. I tried phone calls to the 800 number and they went unanswered. Is the fact that I'm not the custodial parent or the fact that Mrs. _____ is an employee of the state a reason for this office to completely ignore me since November?

All I'm asking for is some due diligence in this matter. My livelihood is threatened as each time this happens I lose yet another $100.00 from my account that won't be returned.

I look forward to your timely response in this matter.

Thank you,

Looking at it again, I realize that it wasn't that staunch at all. I think it brought up the point, but I have yet to receive a response. The State of California is a joke when it comes to Government. They have neither the means nor the will to correct mistakes they make. They lack the leadership, and moral compass required to lead a state of this magnitude. It's no wonder that we are submerged in debt and there are exactly zero long term plans to alleviate the shortcomings. I'm fed up with all the BS that comes with the state.

Wake up State agencies and do the damn job you are paid to do.... Sooner or later somebody with a set of juevos is gonna come along and FIRE YOUR ASS!!!! I just wish it was me or at the very least I could be present when it happens. Until then I will have to decide if I want to spend my money paying support that I don't owe or paying for a lawyer I shouldn't need.

*Steps down from Soap Box*

The Goal at Hand

2010-03-30T21:57:00.001-07:00

There are times when my goal is within reach. I can see it clearly enough and I even know what needs to be done to accomplish it. Those are the times that I am secure in the knowledge that I will get there. There are other times when I know the goal, but figuring out how to get there is, well obscured. That seems to be my theme as of late. I know where I want to be, and I even know what is required to get there.

Do you ever doubt yourself? I don't mean the shallow little doubts like whether or not you will make it to work on time or if you will be able to get dinner ready before company arrives. I'm talking about the deeper doubts. The doubts in your ability to accomplish something. I find myself fighting that a good deal lately. Doubt is an evil thing. It has forced me to be honest with myself on a level that is uncomfortable.

I have commented more than once that I love to write. That is something that I believe we all share or else why would we really have a blog. I know that we blog for different reasons, but if you think about it we all must like to write our thoughts and feelings to some degree or we just wouldn't do this. Now some enjoy it more than others (Kristy and Tina are really good examples) and are even much better at it than some of us. I could name a dozen blogs that I currently read that should be published (One of them is published YAY Rachel!).

In a post back a ways I mentioned where I saw myself 10 years from now. One of the things I mentioned was taking my shot at being published. That is a lifelong dream of mine. I was a weird child and so much of my enjoyment came from the written word that it's hard to express. I was either reading a great new story or writing one, but in either case I was happy when language was involved. See a story is freedom. It's like an open map, and you get to decide how to fill it in. When you read a story, the characters are described but you get to decide what they really look and act like. You get the blank figures and fill in what they are really like in your own mind. I managed to miss a few assignments in school because I was busy reading or writing instead of doing my homework. Blame my grandmother, since she is the one that gave me a love for reading. Besides wouldn't you rather read The Martian Chronicles than do a boring ol' science worksheet.

Back to my remnant of a point. I write every night to some degree. I don't always work on my story, but most nights I am doing some form of work towards it. Be it a little research or even a few chapters. What is really troubling is when I go back and decide that I don't like what I wrote. DOUBT has reared it's ugly head and forced me to make a choice. Keep it or dump it, and it's usually the latter. I have about 12,000 words of a story and I'm sure I've written over 150,000.

Tonight I was reading through a good deal of blogs. Some were happy and a few were pretty friggin' sad but the one thing they all had in common is they were complete. The person that made the post decided they were going to follow through with what they had to say. I decided my story will become like my blog. I'm going to just do it (to borrow a phrase).

So thank you to all of you that offered up different ways for me to avoid writer's block and thank you to those of you that have given me a boost of confidence. I hope that I too can one day say I'm published. If not I will still say I tried and it didn't work out. At the very least I will know that it wasn't lack of effort that kept me from my goal...

Now where is my pencil?

Linkin' up the Monday Minute!

2010-03-29T16:31:00.000-07:00

Ok so I'm not exactly on time. I've had a hectic weekend (actually week) and I have just finally gotten a few things in order. I hate being behind on anything, and that includes my blogging time. Be it reading them or writing.

So without further ado here is the Monday Minute straight from the mind of our good friend Ian......

Why did you start blogging?
I started blogging to have an outlet. Having people that actually read and respond to my rambling is just a really cool bonus.

Name one other blogger and list their URL that deserves special attention for whatever reason you choose.
Well I have been sorta harping on you guys to check her out so this is another good opportunity to visit Sarah at Writer in Making. Just do it you know you want to!

Name one of your heroes in life. Someone that you know or knew personally
I even posted about it here. It's my father

Whose feet smell worse, yours or mine?
Yours!! I use lots of soap and powder them to death :)

Which TV show's setting would you most like to live in?
Happy Days...Fonzi wouldn't have anything on me...

There you have it....They say better late than never...

In case you don't know his link The Daily Dose of Reality is here!

Award for Me! :)

2010-03-29T10:54:00.000-07:00

What a nice surprise....Jerry at My thoughts brought to light has given me an award...

Thanks so much I truly appreciate it...

There are a few rules (aren't there always) listed below
Here are the award rules:
1. Thank the person who gave you this award (that would be me, include a link).
2. Share 5 things about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to 5 bloggers (or less) who you have recently discovered and you think are fantastic! Include links to their blogs.
4. Contact the bloggers you've picked and let them know about the award.
6. Copy this Award onto your blog (linking it to me)

Well lets see 5 things about me....

1. I broke my wrist in high school and couldn't play baseball, so I became a tennis player.

2. My favorite food is gnocchi.

3. I'm an avid (to the point of sick) reader. I have been known to read through a couple of books in a weekend.

4. I can cross stitch. I once did a firetruck with the dalmation riding in it. A friend wanted me to enter it in the fair, but I backed out (guys don't cross stitch).

5. I love to sing, but can't carry a tune, nor can I dance to save my life...

So now to the passing on...

Momma Fargo @ The Boogie Man Is My Friend

Ms. Anthropy @ Sarcastic Granny

I'm going to stick with 2...I have followed both of them for a little while, BUT I am sometimes a really bad follower and the fact that my tracking thing on the sidebar doesn't update sometimes. Regardless of the reasons, I have been reading them as of late a good deal and I promise you will love them...

Jose Cuervo you are a friend of mine!

2010-03-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

The last few days I've been a little on the serious side of things. I have had too much "real life" running through my mind. I decided that since today was the end of the work week (in theory) I would post a little story about my first encounter with too much alcohol. It was actually the first time I got drunk away from a family function where I could just hide from my parents and go to bed early without them realizing it (yeah we Italians and our wine).

I was 14 years old and it was Summer vacation. I was enjoying my vacation except for the fact that this girl I knew was moving away. She was friends with one of our neighbors and happened to be hanging out down there with him on her last night in town. I had a bit of a crush on her, but I didn't realize that she was out of my league at the time (she was 16 and had a drivers license). I walked down the street and there they were sitting out in front just chatting, but it was obvious that they were not interested in company at the time. I spoke a few akward words with them and left. I decided to visit another friend that was just up the street and only a few minutes further.

I got to my friend Jeff's house and he was outside as well (funny how so many of us actually just hung out in the yard before all those video games). We played some catch and were just talking like teenage boys do. He brought up the fact that his mom was asleep because she had to work early the next day and maybe we could sneak out some of her booze from the liquor cabinet. I had never drank hard liquor just wine and a beer so I was all for it. He snuck in the house and came back a few minutes later with a mason jar full of clear liquid. He told me to hang on and ran back in. A few minutes later he was back with 2 bowls of ice cream. He explained that his brother told him that milk would coat our stomachs and we wouldn't get sick if we ate the ice cream first.

So a bowl of ice cream and some tortilla chips and then we were drinking from the jar. Well the jar went pretty fast and then he was back in the house. He came back with another jar filled with a brown liquid. This one tasted much stronger than the first. I came to find out it was bacardi (thankfully not 151). We shined that off in record time and he went back for another. Time passed and he wasn't back yet. I started to worry that he had been caught. About that time he showed back up with one more jar full and it was the original stuff that was clear. That was vodka and it went down pretty smooth considering I was 14 and had no experience to base it on. Three down and I was feeling a little bit silly (actually more than a little). He sort of ran back in the house and came back with a bottle that was labeled Kahlua. He explained that any more booze out of the bottles and somebody would know. I sort of figured they were gonna know anyway. We went ahead and drank this stuff and it was gross, gross, gross. I was a little bit dizzy and told him I better get going home.

So began my trip to the house. I was about 1/2 mile from my goal. The trip started off smoothly enough. I was stumbling a little bit, but not all that much. I could see clearly for the most part and figured I had this licked. That all changed when I came around the last corner and started the straightaway to my house. I didn't quite make the turn and slipped to the curb. I remember getting up and stumbling into a parked car and falling again. This time I think they were bushes that I landed in after bouncing off the car. About that time the girl that I had the sort of crush on and her "friend" came up and asked if I was ok. Well I don't really remember what the words were that came out of my mouth, but they must have figured they meant no.

It turns out that I was on the lawn of family friends. The father came out and saw that I was pretty lit. He stood me up and I started to voice my objections by throwing up all over this guy's clothes. I should mention that Steve is a former vietnam Marine. He is very nice if he likes you, and not so much if he doesn't. He is also not so nice when you vomit on him. He dropped me rather uncerimoniously and went back in the house. A few minutes later my mom was standing over me and was speaking to me in some foreign language. I mumbled something and she became angry. I never was told exactly what I said, but it's been a rare occasion to see my mom that pissed at any comment her son made.

I next remember being brought into our "friends" house and that is where the fun began. I belive that I vomitted on the couch, the floor, the aquarium (yeah poor fish), the shower, and the extra bedroom where I spent my night. Bright and early the next morning my father was there to bring me home. Not a word was said, but he informed me that I was still drunk. I was put into our swimming pool to "sober" me up. So he basically allowed me to be awake and drunk. Later that day I was forced to go to my all star tryouts and was then grounded for the duration of my Summer.

While I admit it wasn't my proudest moment, it was a definite learning experience. Especially after I had to go back down to all those houses in that cul de sac and apologize to the people for being an ass (drunk). The positive aspect of this story.....I was able to give my friends something to tease me about to this very day. The negative. To this day I can't drink Kahlua. Jose Cuervo wasn't really much of a friend that night after all....

Why Does it Matter?

2010-03-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

As of late, I've let myself become irritated by things that don't generally get me that pumped up. I was raised on tolerance, not acceptance. I believe that we should let others live their lives and we ours. I don't have to understand why people do the things they do. I certainly don't have to agree with it. I just have to respect that it's their right to do them. If it's not going to cause harm why should it matter right?

I really thought that we had come a long long way in our way of looking at things as a people. I figured that since my hometown is so racially diverse that others must be much the same way......Wrong!! Well evidently that's wrong. More and more people as of late are wanting to come out in defense of the poor minorities....Who exactly are these minorities we hear about? Mexican, Italian, Russian, Indian, Chinese, Vietnamese, or maybe Korean.

I'm half Italian. My great grandparents came over on the boat and my grand parents were born here in the states. They were treated like dirt, as were most immigrants. They were looked at as less than real people in many cases. They didn't care, they went about their business and built something they could be proud of. They got together with other people that understood their language and they formed a little community and took to farming. Then they learned the language of the land and taught their children (my grandparents). They never let them forget where they came from though. They never let them forget what that country gave them before they came here. My grandparents taught my mom english at 5 years old because they didn't want her to have to struggle in school. Turns out that it wasn't a too uncommon occurance around here at the time. There were many Italian immigrants doing the same thing. Mom doesn't remember much Italian anymore, but she does remember how proud her parents were to see that she was able to communicate in English.

I see the same thing happening with Spanish. Many families realize that it's a head start to get their children speaking English. They speak it more often than their parents did when they first got here. The grandchildren are pretty much adapted to American life by the time they get to school in most cases that I see. Now of course there are some people that don't think they should have to learn the language, or the customs, and to them I say fine but don't expect too much sympathy from me. If I was to move to another country my first order of business would be to learn the language of the land so I could communicate.

As I ramble on about this I realize that is not my real point though. The real point of all this is pretty simple. It doesn't matter if you came from Cuba, or Portugal, or China, or Japan. That has no bearing on you as a person. You still have hopes, dreams, ambitions, goals, and you can still be happy or sad and yes you can still get your feelings hurt. So why is it that people want to judge any of us on our skin tone, or on our accent? Why the hell does it matter if I say yellow instead of hello? In my community I hear the word Si as much as yes. I understand it, it's not a big deal. I also understand that Buenos Dias or Buenos Tardes is easy enough to respond to just like hello or good afternoon. That has become part of our culture in California.

I am more irritated by the need for us to guage everything by what race somebody is. I am a human...Not Black, not Hispanic, not Mediterranean. HUMAN...We are the same, but as my son has pointed out to me some of us have a better tan. Let's try and get to know somebody before we pass judgement on them. Let's try and have some dialogue before we automatically assume somebody means us harm.

The census has really shown me how little we have learned in 234 years as a country. We holler and gripe about equality and then we want to split up the people so we can see if there is yet another way to divide up the pie and show that one group or another gets less. My town is 30% "white" and 61% "hispanic". Does that mean a whole lot? Not to me it doesn't. It means that we have better Mexican food than a lot of other communitites that's for sure. It also means that I get the chance to learn a little something about Mexican culture that I might not know, and it also means that somebody else might get to learn a little something about an italian culture that they didn't know.

Let's try talking to each other before we start judging each other by our last names and skin tone. Let's watch our kids playing with other kids from different backgrounds with no more expectations than to have a playmate for the afternoon. Maybe we could learn how to finally treat each other with some level of respect.

Black, White, Brown, Yellow...Why does it matter at all?

It's All About the License

2010-03-24T18:56:00.001-07:00

Well tomorrow bright and early I'm off to the state capital. I get to take some unbelievably long test to determine whether or not I should give the training that I"m now giving...(gotta love California). I've been studying for this whopper for about 6 months, and even though I think I'm ready, only time will tell. Guess at this point I'm a little bit nervous.

I never realized how much beauracracy is involved in chemical regulations. I have been around this industry my whole life. My father worked at this very same company before me, as well as when I did. He did basically the same job I am doing (except in a higher capacity). I've watched the EPA, OSHA (calosha especially), DPR (department of pesticide regulation) and a handful of other "environmentalist basically demolish my lovely valley with regulation after regulation. Now granted many of these rules are absolutely necessary and in fact are just good common sense. Others, well maybe not so much. I know that we take the good with the bad, but until I really read through all the laws and regulations I didn't realize just how restrictive this state is on just about everything.

So I've come to the conclusion that after this test, everything I do will be without excuse. I am now entering into everything with my eyes wide open. So the next time I "discuss" something that is irritating or just plain crazy and it relates to the job, you can remind me that I KNEW THAT ALREADY!!!

So wish me luck, and if you don't hear from me for a few days, it either means that I failed miserably and stayed drunk in a bar in Sacramento or, I passed with flying colors so I'm celebrating in a bar in Sacramento. Either way, I feel a bar in Sacramento is in my very near future. I wonder if they serve Castle Lite there????

Brother-In-Law and 6th grade camp

2010-03-23T20:56:00.000-07:00

A little update on my brother-in-law...He woke up today. He is in a lot of pain, but it looks like he will recover..They aren't 100% sure of all his injuries and they are still concerned with fluid building up in his lungs. His ribs are really badly broken so he's pretty uncomfortable, not to mention they have tubes down his nose and whatnot...But he's a tough, onery S.O.B. and I for one think he will pull through all this.

Tonight we had a meeting with my son's 6th grade class. They will be going to 6th grade camp in May and I'm going to be a counselor. I'm as excited about this as he is. I had a terrible experience at 6th grade campe because I had stitches in my face and couldn't participate in a lot of the activities. He is pretty excited but he was also a little nervous about bears (I told him the cougars are worse). We will only be up there for a week, but they are making it sound like we are going away to war or something. I know it's for the kids sake that they are telling us all this stuff.

I get a little bit ruffled when they talk to me like I'm an inexperienced hiker going up in the hills. I was in the Marine Corps for 8 years. I think I can handle 4 nights and 5 days in the hills. I look forward to all the survival stuff they will be teaching the kids though. I might even get a chance to relearn some of this stuff I have forgotten over the years. I think I will volunteer to help with the plant identification on those trail hikes, since that was always something I really enjoyed.

So two months and counting...I promise that when I come back there will be a couple of posts and some really cool pictures. So I have that to look forward to. So I'm getting out the military handbook, and maybe even the cammies and of course the compass...so look out mountainside bendigo's rage is coming!!!

Monday Minute...Link it Up!!

2010-03-22T17:00:00.000-07:00

I'm a little out of sorts so I didnt' get much of a chance to respond to all the blogs I read this morning. I unfortunately took almost all day to get this posted and for that I'm sorry...

Without further ado here is Ian's Monday Minute question line up... Since I'm pretty sure you all are followers of his already, you are aware of this but in case there is one out there that was asleep or comatose for the last few months click the button and check him out..You will not be disappointed...

-Do you feel like I do?
About many things we have the same thought process (now that's scary)

-Is it appropriate to answer a question with a question?
Maybe? What question did you have in mind?

-What's wrong with people?
Well I don't have enough time in the day to really get into that one....Let's leave it with lack of common sense....

-What's one redeeming quality about pickles
They can sometimes hide the taste of a bad burger :)

-If you won the lottery, how much money would you give to your favorite charity me?
Well that would have to depend on the amount of my lottery winnings I would suppose...don't worry that shed would be paid for :)

Jump on over to Daily Dose of Reality and answer those questions..make sure you link up as well...

A Country Divided

2010-03-22T13:38:00.000-07:00

There are a few of us that paid attention in History class I'm sure. Some of us found the past to be an interesting story to be read. It didn't really seem like more than that to me. It was simply a story about distant people doing things that were far and long away. American History was a bit more interesting to me, but only because it was something I could see, hear, and taste. It was about those things that surrounded me. My present was tied directly to what these people did only a couple of centuries past. The biggie for our class was the Civil War. What started it? There were a large number of reasons, but everybody always hangs onto the slavery issue. Human rights are as good a reason as you can get in my opinion to have a war. If people are being treated like so many oxen, then something is wrong in the world. States rights were another reason for the war though. Granted I don't agree with the rights they felt were infringed upon (the rights of the states to keep slaves), but nonetheless it was a matter of the federal government taking over the state and essentially telling them how things were going to run. Was it the best way to go about it? No I think they should have allowed the states to secede and then let them attempt to make their way without a trade agreement with the U.S.

What should have been done, or could have been done doesn't really matter. That is the past and we made our bloody way through that as a nation and we came out of it in one piece. Kudos to us for managing something that has killed many a nation. It is in fact the reason that so many struggling countries today have not been able to drag themselves out of poverty. Internal struggle is the key component to kill a country.

I have been watching the news and listening to the radio more often than usual. Trying to get a feel for how things were going to work with this health care overhaul. Let's call it what it is, it's a Health Insurance Reform. Will it work? That doesn't even matter. This whole debate on whether we could insure the uninsured is not what this has become. This debate has split our nation. Good or bad legislation aside, the fact that it's split us as a people makes this bad.

I've always thought of the U.S. as sort of like a bunch of fraternities of a college. They talk trash to each other, and they play tricks on each other. They even occasionally fight. The thing is that when there is somebody coming against their school they unite and for that time they are one school, one voice, one family.

We in the past have been that way. The states might differ on some things, but at the end of the day we are one voice, one country. We have managed to rise up and defend ourselves on countless occasions. We have defended those that needed us (and some that maybe didn't need us). We have been there to lend a helping hand when tragedy struck, and we have been there to offer our teachers, doctors, clergy, and military to those that wish to also live free.

Whether you agree or disagree with the package that is now passing doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that we divided on an issue once again. It wasn't slavery, and it hasn't yet become secession. It's turning into states rights. It will surely mean many court battles and propaganda. For the first time in my life, I don't feel like I have the right to be proud of being an American. I'm ashamed at what our politicians have done. They have portrayed us as simpletons, extremists, anti-American, Unamerican, socialists, communists, Marxists, militia and a few that I'm not going to put on here (they are just dirty).

All that's really left is to hope and pray that we make it through this as a nation. It's time for the fraternities to come together and sound off as one voice. We need to take this opportunity to reflect on what our values are. What matters to us, not just as a country but as a person. Is it really something good if half the people think it's bad? Is it really the answer to our problems? I want a Jimmy Stewart like figure in office. Honesty, integrity, those core values that are sadly missing from about 95% of our elected officials.

I can honestly say that I wouldn't have cared how the health care issue would have went if there would have been an overwhelming majority of people wanting the change that was being offered. The problem is that we didn't really know what the change was that they were looking for. We still don't know all of the details of this legislation. THAT'S what bothers me. We are being mislead, and I don't care who is doing the misleading, I just want it to stop.

It's time to mend some fences, I just hope we have our country when it is all said and done.

It's All About the Writer in Making!

2010-03-19T12:13:00.000-07:00

Well I'm sure that most if not all of you know Ian at Daily Dose of Reality. He has made a little competition on his site for blog of the week. You can find all the details here

He wants us to get people to vote for us and the greatest total of votes gets BotW. I'm not here for me. I want you to get your butt over there and vote for Sarah at Sarah, Writer in Making . Jump on over to her site and check out some of her posts and you will see why I visit there for each and every post.

Smart, funny, and wise beyond her years. I don't have the follower base to compete with some of the blogs on Ian's site, BUT...there are alot of you with lots more followers and that's how we get there....Check out Sarah's site, and tell your friends and followers to do the same...

Ready..............BREAK!!

Your Inspiration

2010-03-18T15:43:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and felt like rolling over and going back to sleep. I knew that wasn't in the cards for today though. I had way too many things going on to play sick. That doesn't mean the thought didn't keep running through my head all morning. From the shower to the kitchen (for my wonderful coffee) to the truck and all the way down the road. I kept looking for an excuse to go back home. Nothing was a good enough excuse to turn me around.

I presented my training this morning and after the meeting somebody made the comment that I seemed inspired this morning. I have to admit I almost laughed in their face. I was anything but inspired this morning. Well in all fairness I was inspired but it was not aimed at work.

It got me to thinking about some of the inspiration in my life. I have a few different wells that I can draw from if I'm looking for something to pick me up. Joe over at The Shadow of my Life mentioned that I have met a lot of interesting people. Well he is absolutely right, I have met some really interesting people. Some of those same people are the ones I get inspiration from. I'll share a few of their stories and let you decide if these people are deserving of the title "inspirational".

J is an addict. He was addicted to "ice" for about 12 years. He did it the old fashioned way too. He snorted that stuff and it tore up his nose something fierce. You wouldn't know it to look at him now though. He doesn't show those scars on the outside. He has been "sober" for 4 years now. After hitting rock bottom he went into rehab. Came out and went right back in. Moved out of the area, and came back when he was stronger in his mind. This guy was a pathological liar, gambler and user. Did I mention he's clean for 4 YEARS!! I guess I should also mention that he's going to college and carrying above an A average. (that's just silly to me). Says he's gonna be a teacher and I believe him. He never gave up on himself, and either did his family. By the way we are very proud of him, that's my brother.

L was as sweet a woman as you could hope to meet. Her mother died of brain cancer when she was a young woman. She spent her life worrying that one day she would contract it as well since the doctors told her that it was genetic. She had a way of making you feel safe when you were around her. If she spoke with you then you knew that you were the focus of her attention. She developed breast cancer in her late 50's. After a double mastectomy she was ok for a good long while. Inevitably the cancer came back in her (yep you guessed it) brain. Through her whole ordeal she maintained her composure. She never let you know the misery and fear she had to be feeling. She lost her battle with the one thing that she feared the most throughout her life, but that didn't keep her from being a great person. A week after she died, her husband was still finding his lunches wrapped and ready for him
in the freezer. She knew that she wouldn't be able to take care of him after she was gone, so she wrote down everything she did in the house and how she did it. What an amazing woman to do that while she was fighting for her life.

C was a cashier at 7-11 for about 20 years. Her husband was a prominent businessman when they were younger. He died at a fairly young age, but he left her comfortable. She was bored at home so she decided that working at the store would be good to keep her busy. As she approached her 75th birthday, it became clear that she couldn't keep up with the fast pace of the convenience store. The boss was forced to let her go. She was not the type of woman you wanted to get "smart" with. You were respectful when you dealt with her, because she demanded it. Not with words, but with her character. I can remember feeling nothing but guilt for being rude with her one day. She never brought it up to me, but I apologized to her the very next day because it was eating me up. She left that store and got a job at the McDonald's cleaning tables and greeting customers. I should mention that at 90 she is still doing this job and people go to the McD's to see her more than to eat the food.

Well that's a sampling of some of the great people I'm fortunate enough to have known in my life. I see what they have overcome and realize that my problems are trivial in comparison. I'm sure many of you have these same people in your lives they just have different names. Take a minute and thank them for all they have given you. I'll bet they will be surprised to find they are YOUR inspiration.

Take Heart Manny

2010-03-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

There is a man I know. We are going to call him Manny for the sake of this post. Manny grew up in a rather large household. Now Manny had a household full of brothers and sisters, and most of them were busy getting into trouble of one type or another. They didn't excel in school, and for that matter didn't excel in social settings. The family was a bit dysfunctional (more than a bit). The one bright spot for Manny was sports.

He could play any game that involved a ball and coordination. A naturally talented athlete, with an uncanny ability to win. He found the weakness in his opponent and exploited it. One of the best baseball players I've ever seen. Never played at a professional level, but I'm quite sure that if things were a little different in his personal life he could have and he would have succeeded. He was a great football player, and basketball player as well. I got him a little bit involved in tennis when I was in high school. I had been playing competitively for about 3 years when Manny and I started playing. Within 3 weeks he was keeping up with me. Nothing can take the ego away like that.

When Manny played baseball he had no fans in the stands. His parents didn't go to his games, and they didn't take him to his practice. He would ride his bike across town to practice. Never confiding in his coach that he didn't have a ride to or from. He was driven when he was on the field though. Singular in his goal, and he couldn't be swayed. Nothing rattled this guy when he was competing.

After graduation Manny got involved with a girl. This was only his second serious relationship. This turned out to be his wife. Now Manny wanted kids, but his wife wasn't a big fan of having a bunch of children. They ended up having one son. The greatest day in Manny's life was when his son was born. All those things his parents never did for him he would do for his own son. He saw immediately that the boy was going to be an athlete. Hitting baseballs at age 4 and fielding grounders at age 5 he was well on his way.

The big problem for Manny was his temper. He could maintain it on the field (usually). He yelled and argued on the field, but that was more to irritate and throw the other team off balance. Now as the parent of a player, he had to check his comments more often. Unfortunately he didn't. I used to think that he was trying to relive his youth through his son. As it turns out, he wasn't. He didn't believe for one minute that anybody should take advantage of his child, and he was going to do everything in his power to protect him. He still found himself looking like a fool on a few occasions because he couldn't control that temper (or that mouth).

Manny's son is graduating this year. This will be the boys last year as a ball player. Manny had high hopes for him, as he is truly a gifted athlete and deserves the playing time, that by the way he is being denied. Politics in sports is a sad thing and the kids don't deserve some of the treatment that comes from it.

Recently Manny opened his mouth again and went off the deep end. His son wasn't there to witness it, but some of the other kids heard and told the boy what was said.
Now more fences need to be mended. His son finally understands that his dad loves him and only wants to help and protect him. But Manny has had to take a few days to gather his wits about him and try to undo the damage he feels that he has done.

I'm here to tell you that anybody who will put himself in harms way to protect his child is a great parent. We all go about it different and some of us have better results than others. It doesn't matter though, because that is our job. Manny did his job, just not in the way that many of us have done ours.

So to you Manny I want to say I think you are one hell of a dad. I know that one day you are going to look back at some of your blunders and realize that maybe it wasn't the best way to handle things, but the important thing was you tried. You have raised a great kid, and half of that is your doing. Don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise. I'm sorry that you are having those doubts, but you did right my friend.

Your boy will appreciate all you have done even more as he gets older and has a family of his own. So take heart Manny...You did right....

Brother-in-Law

2010-03-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note. My brother in law was in a serious car accident. He broke his neck, his wrist, most of his ribs, and bruised a couple of organs in the process.

He hasn't woken up yet, and we are just waiting to find out what if any damage was done to his brain function.

I don't always see eye to eye with him, but he's still part of my family and I love him. I'm praying for you Bobby...

Got Values??

2010-03-15T10:21:00.001-07:00

If I'm not careful this blog is going to turn into a rant journal. I can not for the life of me understand some of the things I see on a regular basis. People don't care in general it seems. I know there are some good people in this world. I have met them and I deal with some on a very regular basis. They are fast becoming the exception instead of the rule.

Is money the true driving force now? I like to have a little myself, but I'm not gonna sell my soul to get it. Hard work used to be the answer to it. You worked hard and kept your nose to the grindstone as the saying goes. Do your job and then a little more. People will take notice if you are producing every day. That's not so true anymore. There are more and more leeches coming out of the woodwork. People that simply wait for someone else to do the footwork and then come in and take the credit. I see it on a regular basis. Great example here....A man works in the shop. He's a welder and general maintenance. He has come up with a much faster and efficient way to cut apart some material that needs to be disposed of. His supervisor approves his plan so the guy happily gets to work doing it his way and he indeed cut down on the time it took, as well as the expense of doing the job. Guess who got the praise? It wasn't the guy that came up with the idea. He was merely the tool that got the job done. They couldn't for one minute believe that he was smart enough to come up with the idea. His boss didn't have the integrity to admit that his worker did indeed not only come up with the idea, but implement it, and all with the help of nobody but himself and his own wits. Long story short, the supervisor got a nice little bonus check, and the worker got a pat on the back for doing the job. Two months later he left the company. He told them directly that he couldn't work for a company that thought so little of him as to believe him not intelligent enough to come up with that concept. It ate away at this guy. I don't blame him for a minute. The supervisor is still there and he is a bit hard pressed to get that job done now. They are finding out that sometimes there really are diamonds in the rough.

The point is that too many people want recognition and reward without putting in the work that is required to get those things. Instant gratification is a sad, repulsive thing. It offers nothing in the way of positive growth. Things come easy and you don't have a chance to appreciate what it takes to succeed. I promise that it won't always come easy, so the sooner you can learn perseverance, patience, and dammit integrity, the sooner you are that much closer to being a good person.

Money be damned. We don't have a lot of time here. Instead of spending it all chasing a buck, maybe we should take a step back and see where we live. Enjoy it for what it is. I think they call it living in the moment. Try it sometimes, it's a great feeling. I understand that we have to think of the future and that's ok, but that doesn't mean we should plan our futures by stepping on the shoulders of those that are working so diligently to provide for their own future.

The recipe for success hasn't changed, we have. It still takes the same core values that it always has to make a person successful. I see a ton of people with a lot of money and they are miserable. That should be setting off a couple of bells in our heads somewhere. Money is a tool like any other. It's used to give us comfort and security, but it's not the end all to the world. Money and no happiness is pointless, but on the other hand happiness and no money is not all so bad. I have spent plenty of years without and was nonetheless happy, because I realized what really matters.

Sometimes little things set me off, and this was one of those times. I don't like to see people getting pushed around and left on the sidelines because somebody doesn't want to recognize their contribution, or worse because somebody wants to steal their accomplishment.

At the end of the day, we don't really have much. We have to be able to look in the mirror and decide if we did right or wrong. We can make our excuses for our actions, but deep down it will always be there. Good or bad is relative I suppose, but I know that when I get home and sit down, I can say that I tried. I didn't do it at the expense of somebody either.

Values.... Got some?

Small Town U.S.A.

2010-03-11T19:43:00.000-08:00

If you don't live in California then you have a better chance of understanding what a small town is. I grew up in a town of about 11,000. That is considered small by California standards. Don't get me wrong there are some that are far smaller, but it's still pretty small.

This town was great when I was growing up. I'm a child of the 70's and while I wasn't much into long hair, as a kid it was a pretty great time to grow up. We had small town department stores, and small town shoe stores, there were no convenience stores, just mom and pop markets. You could get a bottle of soda (not pop) for 10-25 cents. The best part being that when you returned the bottle you got a dime back. There was even this really cool soda bottle called the pop shoppe and when you returned a flat of them back to the store you could get half off of the next purchase of a flat. For those of you unfamiliar a flat of sodas would be 24 bottles in that time and place, not sure if it still holds true. In fact I'm not even sure you can still get a flat of sodas.

We had a great baseball park. You could use it for baseball, football (no soccer back then), softball, and the occasional jogger would run through the park as well. We had long winding park trails and at different intervals there were exercises that you could do. One with a chin up bar, and then maybe the next one with cut telephone poles where you stepped up and down off of them. We had a pond in the park and back when California picked people over fish, we could actually ride a raft from one pond down the canal and over to the other pond and still be in the park. Night ball games were awesome. The town turned out for Little League, and in fact they turned out for softball and football too. It was more than a sport, it was a chance for all of us to get together and relax. Say hey to each other and share a coke. Watch the ball game and cheer on your kid, friend, brother, or cousin.

The best part about my small town was every April we had an Ice Cream Social. If you don't know what that is I'm gonna tell you. It's the time when everybody gets together at the park. We all bring ice cream and drop it off at the big tables that were set up. Now a lot of the people in this small town made their own ice cream, but to be honest we didn't care all that much. All this ice cream was put out on tables and there were a group of people behind these tables. Now the people behind the tables were usually the women from the Historical Society or the Italian Club. They were all old (really old like late 70's early 80's). They would serve up ice cream in these little plastic bowls and hand them out to everybody that came up to the table. This didn't cost anything. Everybody donated something to it. If you couldn't donate some ice cream or bowls, then you were there because being part of the community was important. You still enjoyed the ice cream and the jokes and of course if you were a kid you got to be involved in one of the many carnival style games they had going. There would be a band playing mostly old fashioned big band music and there were always a few people that decided to dance a little bit while we all enjoyed our ice cream and played. This would go on all afternoon and into the evening. Most of the time, there would be at least a couple hundred people left in the evening and if that happened you just knew that a barbecue was coming on. Now this was a little less organized but nonetheless it was together.

Somebody would bring out the barbecue and suggest they were gonna make some burgers. Then the next thing you knew somebody else was gonna make some hot dogs. Then somebody else said "Hey I'll go get some chips and buns." Then somebody else would be getting something else and something else and pretty soon it was a block party but this block was a couple hundred strong and taking up a good 1/4 of the park. We would eat hot dogs and burgers, and drink those pop shoppe soda's and tell jokes and ride our rafts back and forth between the ponds. Our parents would sit and visit with each other. Funny thing, but nobody drank alcohol at these events. At last not where any of us saw. There weren't a bunch of drunks getting in fights, and there weren't any gang bangers stabbing each other. There were just families coming together as friends to have a get together.

Our town has grown up since then. Unfortunately it hasn't grown better. We had an ice cream social about 4 years ago. Only about 20 people showed up and they charged $2.50 for an ice cream. They wouldn't even take our ice cream and use it, saying that there was a liability issue (Whatever). We didn't buy ice cream and we didn't stay. We didn't know anybody that was there so what was the point. They were all sitting in their own little groups and didn't seem to want to make any acquaintances. I was a bit sad over the whole affair.

The department stores are gone now, so are all the mom and pop markets. We don't have the pop shoppe any more, and most people don't even know what a refundable soda bottle is or what it looks like for that matter. The ball park still has games, but the only people that get in the stands are family and friends for that team. Oh there might be a few diehards like me, but for the most part, you see mom's and dad's, brothers, and sisters. That's not a bad thing, but I sure would like to see neighbors and school friends too. They still play softball on a couple of the fields, but the football teams don't practice here any more. The other fields are all filled with soccer teams now. Travel Soccer, travel baseball, travel softball. That's the new craze. Play the same sport all year round, whether your kid wants to or not. Because after all how else are they going to get the big shoe contract right?

I guess I get a little bitter when I think of what we have traded. I realize we traded James Department Store for Wal-Mart. We traded Dominici's Market for 7-11. I don't have anything against the big business (well not much at least). I just wish for things to be a little bit more like they were. I guess it's sorta silly but I long for those days when moms and dads brought there kids to the park on that late April Saturday afternoon. They put out those big tables and struck up the band. Games were played and friends were made. For one full day, we were more than a town, we were a family.

Small Town U.S.A. I miss you................

Due Diligence...or Just OCD

2010-03-09T08:44:00.000-08:00

It's a little strange how many of us arrive at our careers. I would venture to guess that most people don't end up doing what they planned in the early stages, you know when the world offered us everything and all we had to do was apply ourselves to it. I originally wanted to be a teacher. It was a strange goal considering I was in 5th grade when I was really thinking that I would like to help other kids, that might have some trouble learning the stuff we were learning.

I have jumped from what I dreamed of for what was realistic for my needs at the time. That doesn't mean that I couldn't go back and do it, I just decided that there are other areas that I could excel at which are of interest to me as well.

I will be the first to admit that what I do is not a beacon for a lot of people. Many of us found this type of job because originally they didn't have anyone else to fill it. Rules, regulations, health and safety just don't sound fun. Policy and procedure sound formal and uninviting. I understand that, but there is something to be said for it all. It ensures that people aren't worked to death, and I promise you it also means that a great deal less people are hurt and dying while at work. It also goes overboard in too many areas to cover here, but we take the good with the bad.

All of that so that I could get to the point of this. I was recently told I would be giving some training to a group of workers not employed directly by our company. I don't like to do this, because the possibility of liability is way to high. All it takes is somebody getting hurt and saying they didn't understand what I trained them and here comes a lawsuit. The boss wants it done and that is it. I have never had to do this as I'm new to this industry.

I have mentioned a certain person I am forced to work around that is less than helpful. He is in fact always looking for ways to make things difficult and has even tried a few times to sabotage what I'm doing. I understand it for what it is and avoid and ignore it when possible. He is the reason I'm doing this training, since he put the bug in the boss's ear. So I've begun getting all the training materials together and realized that this is going to be lengthy. Most of the other guys just gave out handouts and had these guys sign papers. I'm not inclined to work that way. I have studied some of this crap to death to make sure that I have answers for their questions. Even if I don't do this particular work I have to know how to do it because I'm starting to see that these guys are left on their own with a sort of sink or swim mentality.

I was preparing the lesson plan and my "friend" came in and seeing the paperwork, sort of laughed and asked what I was planning to do. I explained to him that they needed all this information and if they haven't been getting it in the past they will be getting it now. He told me that it's easier to just talk to them about it, and let them sign their papers. I see now who was giving the training before, even telling him that whoever did it prior was obviously not qualified to instruct. He got a little defensive and told me I suffer from OCD. I laughed at him (not in a friendly way).

I may have OCD, I'm not sure. I do believe in due diligence. I think that if somebody is expecting to learn something maybe they want to know all the ins and outs of it. I know I would. This is dangerous stuff and they have every right to know as much about it as I can find out. I guess in a way I became that teacher I wanted to be a long time ago. Just didn't figure it would be in this type of a class environment.

My Literary Hero

2010-03-05T21:38:00.000-08:00

A while back, I mentioned that I would sooner or later put a post about my all time favorite author, and literary hero. Well I think that this is as good a time as any to offer up a little info on Louis Dearborn L'Amour.

Louis L'Amour, in case you didn't know was a western writer. Actually I take that back, he was a western man that wrote. This guy was the real McCoy. He lived the life of adventure. He was a cattle skinner, a hay baler, a professional boxer, and a merchant marine. He was also a guard at an old mine. He had a number of jobs in his youth. He was bored with school and left at the ripe ol' age of 15.

All of these jobs served him well as he learned a great deal about the life of the men from the old west. He received first hand knowledge of many of the great gunfighters and various characters associated with America's early western era.

If you follow his writing, you will know that his most involved series involved the Sackett family. The Sacketts were a rather large family strung throughout the hills of Tennessee and parts beyond. Their story was told from it's Welsh beginnings and brought forward all the way into the late 1800's. This was a family that stuck together no matter what. They had only to call for help and sooner or later another Sackett would be nearby to lend a hand.

My early teen years were spent living in the old west through Louis L'Amour. I got the opportunity to be on cattle drives, and to be a town Marshall. I was hunting gold through New Mexico and fighting loggers in a frontier town. All of this was compliments of Mr. L'Amour. While he was criticized often for his writing style, you need only read one of his books to understand that he was a storyteller. Plain and simple this man had a gift. He could put you in the middle of his story and there you stayed till he was good and ready to let you out.

Not to jump off the subject too much, but that is what attracted me to Tina at The Clean White Page. She has that same rare ability to put you into her story until she is ready to release you from her grasp. There is a lot of Louis L'Amour sneaking out of Tina. She just doesn't write westerns...YET!!

Louis L'Amour won a ton of awards for his genius. He won the Congressional Gold Medal, The Medal of Freedom, and he was also presented with an honorary PhD from Jamestown College in North Dakota.

Sadly he lost his battle with lung cancer in 1988. It's sort of weird how people can remember where they were when Elvis Presley died (for those of you alive when he was). Well I can remember vividly being in my living room, and in fact reading a L'Amour book, when the news mentioned the death of the most prolific western author of all times. That alone should speak volumes to this man. He surpassed even the likes of Zane Grey. Little side note for you... He was also responsible for 4 Hopalong Cassidy books. He denied it till the day he died, but after his death his son admitted to the fact that Hoppy did indeed get written (in part) by L'Amour.

So while I could never do the man justice by describing the little bit I managed here, I will leave you with this. If you haven't ever read Louis L'Amour give it a try. If you aren't a western fan, try one of his detective stories. Or maybe you could try some of his poetry. Yeah that's right this guy did it all. Including 2 works of non-fiction. If you really want to get a sense of the man then read his biography "Education of a Wandering Man". It's a truly unique look into the life of an incredibly gifted, creative storyteller.

Gazing into the Crystal Ball

2010-03-04T19:37:00.000-08:00

This is the first real chance I've had today to sit down and check out all the blogs. This is pretty late in the day for me, but work sorta kept me closed away from the real world ALL DAY.

Anyway, as I was making my run through all the blogs I enjoy on a regular basis, I got to Sarah's. If you don't follow her, then now is as good a time as any to check her out and see why you should. This was her post today, and it's but one layer of all the great stuff you will read over there.

So I was tagged to give my predictions of where I see myself in 10 years. Good question...

Well I figure that IF we aren't destroyed by the Mayan meteor prediction there is a good chance that I'll be in either Idaho or Montana. I've been working towards that end for quite some time, and I'm pretty sure that in 10 years I'll be at one or the other. I'm thinking I'll be a grandpa by that time too :) I will have made my attempt to get at least one of my rambling stories published. I don't know that I'll get the honor of a publishing, but I will be secure in the fact that I tried my best to make it happen. I'm going to be enjoying my refurbished barn that we will be living in and I'm going to have my big ol' kitchen where I can cook all those wonderful Italian dishes whenever I want to. My middle son will be graduating college and moving on to work on his doctorate and my little one will be getting ready to graduate H.S. They will be happy well adjusted kids, and my wife and I will be breathing a little easier because we will have some great kids doing good things with their lives. Well that and the air in Idaho and Montana is sooo much better than here in California.

So that is my 10 year forecast. I don't know how accurate it really is, but I'm thinking that a little of that will be true enough. Some of it maybe a little sooner and a few things maybe a little later. So I'm supposed to tag some more people with this one. So we are gonna see who actually reads my drivel. I tag
Asblackasobama @ I Think It's Interesting
Samantha @ Apple Juice and Milk
Kitty Moore @ Kitty Tells it as it Is
Ally @ Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing
Dayne @ Coach Your Mind
Desertson @ Writersoup Fuel for the Mind

I know that I'm supposed to tag more, but I like to "bend" the rules too. :)

Such a short post for a long winded person like myself, but I think that it will have to do for this evening.....

Pride, Ego and Shame

2010-03-02T16:52:00.000-08:00

There have been a number of posts on here where I've spoken fondly of my childhood. I enjoyed growing up in many ways. I'm not going to say it was perfect, because we all know that it's just not the reality of most childhoods. There are ups and downs that go with any growth. It's never going to be a completely painless process.

While I had a great family unit, that doesn't mean that we had all the material things that make life easier. When I was pretty young, maybe 8 or 9 my dad still had the old manual lawn mower. Now if I got in trouble I would have to mow the lawn with that dang thing. It's not the easiest piece of equipment to push I can tell you that. For those of you that don't know the old reel mowers that were manual were people powered. In other words the faster you pushed the faster the reel turned and cut the grass. If you were lucky you had a really sharp blade. If you were unlucky then it was dull (my dad kept it dull if I was going to mow). We had a dishwasher, her name was Dee and she was my sister, and sometimes it was another guy named (yep you guessed it). We washed the dishes after dinner. Pick up your room or don't have anything was pretty much the mantra around our house.

The point is we did without lots of things that weren't essential. Not just dishwashers and lawn mowers either. We got school clothes once a year and they better last or you would have patches on your pants. For little boys that wasn't a big deal compared to little girls. My sister never said much about it, but looking back I think it bothered her. I know that it bothered my mom, but you do with what you have right?

We were never hungry and we were never meant to feel anything but loved though, and that is something more important than any RC car or video game they could have found for us.

With that type of background I can't understand for the life of me why I have chosen to live as I did for so long. When I was a bit younger and struggling as many young couples do, I would never tell my mom and dad how bad it was. I always made sure we had food on the table, but that doesn't mean that we always had other things that might make life bearable. You know little things, like a phone, or in a few cases power. I'm not saying we lived like cave dwellers. But there were a few occassions when the power was shut off because we just didn't have the money. I was too proud to ask for help from my parents. At the time I chose to put my family through those trials because of Pride or maybe a little shame.

Funny thing was that even though I never admitted to my parents when we were in these situations, they could tell. Maybe the stress on my face sometimes, or maybe my wife said something to them. Regardless of the why I can still remember my mom calling me (yeah we had a phone most of the time) and telling me that she was clearing out the cupboard and had some things that she thought maybe I would want. If not she would just give them to my brother. I would go and get what was basically a care package from mom. She did it in a way to make me not feel like I was taking charity. It's amazing what parents will do to save their kids a little discomfort.

Time moved on and things obviously improved. I have managed to make it out of all that gunk that was basically growing up. I learned a few valuable lessons along the way too. First of all, Top Ramen is indeed the most versatile food ever invented. I'm a Ramen pro and can make at least 2 dozen dishes using it as the main ingredient (look out Iron Chef). Second, if you are in trouble don't be too damned proud to ask for help as long as you realize that it's a temporary thing, and only requires temporary help. Do for yourself when you can. Thrid and most important is I realized that my crappy way of dealing with this was to hide it away from those that cared about me the most. They wanted to help, but because they didn't want to hurt my pride either they didn't step in. Ha ha I guess that makes them enablers... Regardless the lesson to be learned is never be afraid to step out there and ask for help if you really need it. Pride is a dangerous thing. It does far more damage than good in my opinion. It goes both ways, don't assume that somebody doesn't need help just because they won't ask for it. Pride be damned. Offer assistance if someone near and dear to you is in need. Don't be too afraid of hurting the ego of those you love. They will understand eventually that you are only hoping to lend a helping hand.

Pride, Ego and Shame...Three of the worst things in the world sometimes. They are also the three things that taught me the best life lessons I could learn.

Ok, I'm done preaching, so now go back to looking at those really cool pictures from Santa Barbara :)

Santa Barbara Cont (with pics)

2010-03-01T20:44:00.000-08:00

So I thought that maybe a few of you might like to see a couple pics from the weekend (Kristy)

So here are a few...I don't take many pictures, but my wife won't put the camera down...I just pulled out a few from the hotel and the ocean and the mission..

Hope you enjoy

This is the front of the beautiful Biltmore...

This is the courtyard...You could smell the Jasmine wherever you walked..

A really cool tree in the courtyard...It was huge and old and gnarled...We loved it..

These are just a couple of shots of the room...There were more somewhere, but I couldn't find them...The wife really enjoyed the dual sinks in the bathroom (guess I'm a sink hog)

When I looked across the street this was the view..

Down the street from the hotel..

If you looked one way you saw this..

If you looked the other we found this.. (very cool)

Freebies FTW!!

2010-02-28T22:23:00.000-08:00

I love the term FTW!! I can't help it..I'm a video game junkie and that's just a popular comment... For The Win, for those of you not involved in all the new abbreviations out there...

That being said I was invited to a year end sales meeting this weekend in Santa Barbara. It was being held at the Biltmore which is a Four Seasons Resort...I have seen these places on TV and always thought how cool it would be, but never figured I would have the money to enjoy one. Well that all changed with this little trip.

The rooms are rather pricy...I was told that off season the upstairs rooms run around $450 a night...I spent less than that on a weekend in Monterey with dinner...
But it's a freebie, so hell yes I took it.

It was a bit surreal for a country boy like me. I'm well enough versed in how to act. I am told I clean up fairly well. I'm pretty sure that compared to some of the other rednecks that came with us I didnt' look to hillbillyish (that just became a word). The concierge treated me like I was royalty. They apologized about 100 times, because a vehicle had blocked their front entrance and we had to drive around to the back parking lot and walk. The poor guy that hauled all the luggage was the one that got the short end of that stick. He smiled the whole way and told us all about the things we could see in the town. Where we should try and get to. We also learned that he is in his 3rd year of college and working towards his pilot license. Nice guy. The room was amazing. The closet alone is as big as our other bedrooms in our home. It had as much hanger space as two of our closets as well. The shower had a seat and it took me about an hour to figure out all the places the water would come out in that damn thing. The tub was just as phenomenal. I had never seen an old fashioned free standing tub that had hidden jets in it...Until this weekend. Amazing as it was I never even got the chance to try it out. Three swimming pools and 3 hot tubs, a full service spa and gym. Guided tours, a putting green and crockett.

The food is where i encountered some discomfort. I am a meat eater. I'm a meat and potatoes kinda guy. They were making funky salads with names that I'm quite sure were made up. I love seafood, so that was a plus. Sea Bass, and salmon, crab cakes, and lobster (drooling a little). All I had to do for all of this was sit through an 8 hour sales meeting. I slugged down about 8 or 9 cups of coffee and smiled through my 8 hour punishment.

The last night there we had an awards banquet and I found out this was the real reason for me being invited. It turns out that our facility was 1 of only 3 that went then entire year without an accident. I guess I should mention that we have about 900 facilities nationwide. So we accepted our award and I patted myself on the back and managed a few drinks in celebration as well. (everything was free!!!)

I loved the weather and the scenery of that little town. I could do without the snobby people living there, but other than that this was 4 days to remember. I can hardly wait for next year. My boss told me that we might get to try that one in Hawaii.... Keeping my fingers crossed...

Credit or Debit?

2010-02-24T23:33:00.000-08:00

I have felt this little rant coming on for a long long time now. I am forced to travel a good deal throughout my day. I don't like to carry any large quantity of cash with me on the road. I always figured that was the reason for my atm credit/debit card. Why else would they give me the damn thing unless they wanted me to use it like cash?

I dropped into the local mom and pop gas station/mini mart/video rental/post office/cafe/ you get the idea. I just wanted a damn snack. A couple of chimichangas and some potato wedges. Not much to ask right? I get to the counter and the pleasant woman behind the counter takes my atm card and asks credit or debit?
I ask her if there is a difference. She says they charge for debit. I tell her then I want credit. So I get my receipt to sign and sure enough there is a charge for credit use. I asked her about this charge, and she told me that it was for using the credit card. "But you said there was a charge for debit." I reminded her. "Yes but I never said there wasn't a charge for credit." she reminded me.
I almost stuffed the Styrofoam container down her pudgy throat.
Instead I walked out and left my items on the counter and tore up the receipt (which I might have thrown on the ground while leaving).

WTF!! Why would somebody go through the trouble of asking me if I want one or the other if they BOTH get charged the exact same amount. This got me to thinking about other items that I'm paying this surcharge for. I got gas and noticed a different price for cash and debit. I brought this up to the young man behind the counter and immediately he was defensive with me. He explained that it cost money to use those machines and they were merely recovering their costs. Funny thing about that was the old man that owns the store came out and told me that it would be the same price as cash for me, because they always charge cash prices if the customer asks. That got me to thinking that maybe this isn't the most legal of propositions. I'm now on a mission to find out.

We have been suckered. All these years we are told to carry this damn piece of plastic because it will make everything so much easier. All the while we are getting charged up the Ass for the very thing that is supposedly making things easier. Not just easier for us, but easier for the establishment we shop at. They are able to push us through much faster when we use plastic supposedly. It's like a big friggin line of cattle getting led to slaughter. We are just waiting our turn to get the little pneumatic rod stuck through our freakin head.

So I went to the bank and took out $100. I figured that from now on cash is just good enough for me. I will take the dirty looks from the cashiers when I give them cash. I know that most of these dumb asses don't know how to count back change to me without the aid of the cash register, so they are ticked off that they have to attempt it. We have been dumbed down by this "progress". Cash is almost a dirty word in most department stores. They are trying to get us away from the debit card and into bed with THEIR credit card. Regardless they still want us to use plastic. Because if we are using cash they can't track us very well can they.

I'll end this little tirade with a comical little story of the most satanic of all department stores Macy's. I went in their one day about a year ago. I was going to get a shirt. Just a plain ol' long sleeve button up shirt for my suit. I had cash (imagine that). The gal at the register asked for my phone number and address. I inquired as to why she could possibly need that for a cash purchase. She informed me that it so they could call me with any offers they might have from time to time. I told her I didn't want any offers, and that I just wanted my shirt. She would not ring up my purchase until I gave her my number. Needless to say I went home that day without a shirt, but they went without a sale. I wonder now how many people just give the information because it's asked. They probably figure it's a no harm no foul kinda thing. I disagree...I'll give you my freakin number when I feel like it. I'm the customer, and you should tell me please and thank you and take my money. End of story....

So buyer beware...We have been suckered in for a long long time. The quicker we get them to realize that we are gonna have it our way, the sooner things will come to at least resemble sane.

*Step down from soapbox*
BTW B of A YOU SUCK!!! (charged me $5.00 for using an atm from another bank and the other bank charged me $2.00)

Take Me Out To the Ballgame

2010-02-23T16:50:00.000-08:00

It's just about that time of year. I can feel it already. Baseball season is fast approaching. There is no better time in the world if you are a kid, or if you are a grown up with the mindset of a kid (me). I can smell the outfield grass as I sit here typing this.

I am a fan. Dodgers are my team. This isn't about pro baseball though. This is about Baseball season. This is about 9 teammates focusing on one thing. Beating the snot out of the other 9 teammates. It's about keeping your eye on the ball. Following the grounder into your glove, and maybe if you are really lucky diving for that foul ball and coming up with a snow cone grab. Yeah I am a bit excited.

This will be my youngest sons first attempt at Little League. He is 8 and I've been informed that I shouldn't worry because he is more than ready to get out there and give it his best. I'm excited for him, because these are going to be the best years of his life. He is going to make new friends, and find some heroes out there that he will look up to for the rest of his life. When he is a parent one day, he will look back and remember one of his ball coaches fondly, and tell his kids some great baseball story from his childhood.

There is nothing to think about when you are on the ball field, except hit, catch run, throw. That's it and nothing could be more simple in the world. You don't have to hit hard and you don't have to catch well. You don't have to run fast or throw accurately. You just have to try. You have to get dirt all over your uniform, so your mom is complaining that she can never get that stain out. Big strawberry on your hip? No problem, it'll go away after the season is over. So will that big scab on your shin from sliding (figure 4) into second base over that gravel they call an infield.

After the game, you get your snowcone, and you sit in the bleachers and watch the next game. You get to trash talk with your teammates about your game. You get to make fun of each other, and nobody is getting mad, cause it's part of Baseball. Sometimes you are the hero and sometimes you are the goat. Doesn't matter though, cause everytime you still got to be out there on the field. You got so taste the dust and smell the outfield. You heard the crowd cheering you on when you came up to bat. You were alive and excited for the chance to be the hero.

Basketball season is Ok..So is Football and don't get me wrong I'm a fan of all sports. I played tennis in High School as well as baseball, football, and basketball. BUT....nothing and I mean nothing compares to Baseball season. Peanuts, popcorn, hotdogs and coke. To hell with the crackerjacks, but give me some pink popcorn. I'll gladly sit through every Saturday from now till August and watch these little guys live out their dreams of glory on the Baseball field. That is time well spent, and I for one can hardly wait!

Regrets? Maybe a Few....

2010-02-22T14:12:00.000-08:00

The word itself is ugly. Nobody likes to have regrets. It's not exactly a goal in anybodies life. My grandfather used to tell me that when I got old I would look back and the fewer regrets I had, the happier I would be. That sounds like pretty sound advice looking back.

Just because it's good advice doesn't mean it gets followed though does it? We all have those moments in our lives that we wish we could revisit and maybe change the outcome of. I arrived at that moment recently while rereading a post from Hunter at The Time Crook. He made this post and it really got me to thinking.

I'm full of silly childhood regrets, but there are a few that are a bit more on my mind as I get a little older. I'm gonna share one of those with you, but first I have to preface this a little bit. I'm a believer in the Death Penalty...Wow where did that come from right? If you kill somebody intentionally, then you deserve to die for it in my opinion. If we are going to keep people alive for 15 years after the crime then giving them the death penalty is pointless...

That said, here's my regret...

As a teenager I had a friend named Richie. We played sports together, we hung out together and we were pretty good friends through junior high school and all the way through high school as well. Now Richie was a nice kid. He was as pleasant as they come, and he was well mannered. In fact to the point that my parents were always telling me that I better be every bit as well behaved as Richie when I was out and about.

Richie came from a dysfunctional home. In the sense that his parents didn't or wouldn't show him any affection. He was the oldest of three brothers, and he was constantly expected to be responsible for anything and everything they did. They doted on both of the other boys, but Richie was never given that love and affection that he craved. He spent more and more of his time at my house. My parents accepted him in as one of our own, and even offered to let him come live with us to finish high school when it became so bad at his house. He was 18 before he graduated and his parents were going to make him move out and support himself to finish high school. Fortunately that didn't happen. I will never forget some of the times we dropped him off after a high school football game at some random hotel that his parents were at for one of their workshops. They never had time to watch him play sports, but they managed to watch the other two.

After High School we went our separate ways sort of. I joined the military and he went to a junior college down south. He was going to be a broadcast journalist. I'm quite sure that he would have made a hell of a good one too. Things don't always work out the way we plan though do they? He met a girl and all of a sudden he was in a relationship for really the first time in his life. I never met this girl, but he was happy and so I was happy for him.

Life kept moving on though and I was soon caught up in my own little slice of life. I was married and working, and on top of that I was going to be a dad. I heard that Richie had some trouble down south, but nobody really knew much about it. I was too caught up with my own little world to worry all that much about it. I figured if he needed me, he would call or write (pre-internet). Sure enough I got a letter from Richie, but by this time, I was going through some other stuff in my life. I was getting ready to get divorced, and I was wondering how I would be able to raise my child as a single parent. I didn't have time to talk to Richie, and I didn't really want to know what was going on in his life to be honest. I didn't bother to respond to his letter, and I didn't bother to notice that it was postmarked from a correctional facility.

A year went by before I found out the details of my friend. He was on death row. He was found guilty of murder. He had killed his girlfriend and her mother. I won't offer up the specifics of this horrific crime, because it haunts me still. Let's just say that it was gruesome, and he admitted to it, and was more than willing to pay for his crime.

I wasn't there for my friend when he needed me though. I wasn't there when he went through his break up, and I wasn't there to help talk him down, from whatever crazy place his mind brought him too. I was forced to accept that I had failed him as a friend. That of course doesn't mean that I had anything to do with all the madness that followed, but it's a what if moment for me.

Fast forward to now. He is still on death row. He is a mentor in the prison system, and has helped many fellow inmates achieve their GED and even some advanced learning. They have tried to appeal for all these years to get him off death row. I even offered up a deposition, explaining his childhood, and the person I knew compared to the madman that committed that crime.

Should he die? Yeah, he deserves to pay for what he did. He knows that and so do I. I even explained that to the lawyer that I spoke with. I was asked to explain my friends childhood to the court and I did. That doesn't mean that I expect leniency and I know he doesn't either.

To call it regrettable is an understatement. So many lives have been destroyed by that one terrible act. Many more lives have been turned upside down. I take something away from this though. I realized maybe a little late that I will make time when my friends are in need. I will sit and listen if they have a problem, and I'll do my best to offer up a solution and if nothing else an ear. I can't change what happened but I can change my response to it for the next time. Lessons learned are sometimes hard, and sometimes that's the only way we learn them.

So I file this away with the other black marks in my life, but this one has a flag on it. This is one to be remembered. This is my regret.....

There's No Crying in Baseball

2010-02-19T10:31:00.000-08:00

Anybody who has seen the movie A League of Their Own remembers that famous line delivered by coach Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks) to right fielder Evelyn Gardner (Bitty Schram).. Jimmy basically screamed at her until she was in tears and then he tried to explain to her that there is no crying in baseball....It was a funny line and absolutely added to the character of Jimmy Dugan.

I tend to think it's more than just a line from a movie though. There is no crying in baseball. It's a very competitive game, and we play to win. That doesn't mean if we lose that the world ends. I have coached young kids for close to 20 years in this sport and it never fails to amaze me how many don't think about crying when they lose until........the parents get involved.

Note to parents...If I'm your child's coach stay off my ball field. I will teach your child the fundamentals of the game. I will also teach them that it's important to leave it all on the field. We don't half ass it around my ball field. It's all or nothing. That whole 110% is crap, I used to get more arguments from kids about that then anything else. "How can I give more than 100% coach? It's impossible." They are right, and it takes far too much energy to explain to them what I mean by 110%. As an adult we undestand that it means to give that little extra that makes the difference. What we fail to understand as adults is that 100% is what's required. ALL!

So now that I rambled about 110% for too long, let me get back to the point. Kids learn that it's ok to whine, cry and complain when things don't go their way from the people that most influence their young lives. Guess what that person is not ME!
It is the parent, sibling, friends, and family. It's absolutely counter-productive.
Crying about losing doesn't fix it. Whining about the bad call doesn't fix it. Never leave the game in the hands of the umpire. That is something my High School coach told me and it has stuck all these years. I have tried for many years to explain that philosophy to my kids (that I coach).

If you are thinking of putting your child in sports then please please please remember this. They have to learn how to handle defeat as well as success. Perseverance is key in almost every aspect of our lives, and we learn so much of that from the young years involved in something as simple as Little League, or Soccer, or Football. So many people like to villify youth sports, and to some degree I understand where they are coming from. More often than not many people forget that along with teaching the child how to play a sport that they can enjoy for many years to come, I am also teaching them a little bit about the real world. I get the opportunity to teach them that working together for a common goal is a great thing. Communication, compassion, and sportsmanship are all great qualities to instill in a young person. I get to do that!!

I hope that any of you with small children will remember to let your child explore these different youth activities. Not all children are cut out for sports, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't get the chance to see if they enjoy them. You don't have to be a good ball player to have a great time on the ball field. I understand that some coaches only play to win, so parents be aware of who your coach is. Make sure that their concern is to teach the love of the game, and the qualities of a good sportsman.

The old addage "It's not if you win or lose but how you play the game." Is absolutely as important now as it was 50 years ago. Don't ever let your child forget that. A win by cheating is empty, and it will feel that way. By the same token, if you lose a game but can walk off the field knowing that you gave everything you had, you can keep your head up high and know that tomorrow will be another opportunity.

Save the crying for stubbed toes, and cut fingers. For broken bones and Weddings and Funerals. Enjoy the game you are playing. Cause win or lose, you are still playing and playing is FUN!

How to Apologize?!?

2010-02-18T09:39:00.000-08:00

Throughout the course of my day, I'm inundated with offers for courses and training of one type or another. Somebody somewhere is always offering the latest in how to work safely, how to stay within regulations. I go to a ton of these more out of curiosity than necessity. A few have actually delivered exactly as they promised, but more often than not they are just another scam to get my $120 registration fee.

As I perused my emails this morning, I got a little reminder that some workshops are available from EPA. This one really caught my eye. How to Apologize. Seriously???
We are being trained in how to apologize for a decision or action we may have taken.

The whole premise of this class is that from time to time, we all take action or in some cases inaction that angers the populace. Somebody somewhere is basically pissed off and we will now be instructed in how to apease them while still doing the very things that are pissing them off.

WTF is that about??? I know that I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm not a complete idiot. Apologies are for when we do something wrong, not unpopular. If I make a decision that is inconvenient or irritating, but it's the right thing to do or is going to keep somebody alive or safe then that's just the way it is. I don't apologize for doing my job the right way. I surely don't need somebody to show me how to apologize for doing my job either.

This to me is just further proof that we are a complete mess. If I'm being taught how to apologize for things that aren't wrong, how many other people are receiving that same message?

For myself and anyone else this has to hold true. Don't ever apologize for being right. Don't make excuses for doing the right thing, even at the expense of somebody else's comfort. If you do something wrong, own up to it and by all means offer a sincere apology.

Don't for one second assume that you are fooling somebody by telling them you are sorry if you don't mean it. Most people can tell if somebody is sincere or not. We offer up little signals that we are telling truth or lies all the time. Every time somebody won't look me in the eye red flags are coming up. I know right then and there that most likely I'm being lied to. Maybe this class will teach me how to look somebody right in the eye and lie to them. Perhaps that is really all this class is about, just giving the appearance of regret. Well they can keep their workshop and I'll keep my $210 since they are even more expensive than the norm.

B.R.A.S.S.

2010-02-16T18:05:00.000-08:00

For any of you that have spent time in the military or are related to someone in the miiitary this acronym might seem familiar. Breath Relax Aim Stop Squeeze. It's one of the earliest things we are taught when learning to fire our rifles. It's very good advice and works rather well as long as you aren't amped up on any of the coffee or cigarettes that most military guys are.

I grew up with weapons around our house. My father and Grandfather both hunted (not very well). I took part at the ripe ol' age of 10 when I was allowed to get my gun safety course out of the way. By 10 I was already pretty familiar with weapons. I knew that they served one purpose and one purpose only....To kill. They aren't to wound, or scare, they are a weapon of destruction and used for good or bad is totally up to the person behind the trigger.

Now that being said, I might have known what they were for, but I didn't consider my daisy bb gun to be in that category. For those of you unfamiliar with the daisy BB gun it was a lever action bb gun that you almost had to aim at an angle to reach 50 feet. I got one when I was 8 years old, and I was in love with it. I had used my Grandfather's on many occassions in the backyard to have "target" practice. I wasn't allowed to shoot at animals or anything like that, but I could shoot fruit or bottles, and mostly cans.

In my neighborhood there were tons of kids around, but there were three of us that played together quite a bit. Me, Scott and Jeff rode bikes, boxed in a makeshift boxing ring in the front yard (using a water house to outline), had water balloon fights, and blew up more than our fair share of those little green army men with lady fingers (firecrackers).

Along with all those good things, we also decided one day to play War. All of our houses met at a corner in the backyard and we figured it would be a perfect place to hold our own little battle for domination. So bb gun in hand I got behind my makeshift bunker in the backyard.

Now you can't just start fighting in backyard war, you have to be prepared. You need a few essentials.
1. ball cap (battle helmet)
2. jacket (regardless of the time of year)
3. Jeans...No Shorts!!!
4. Boots or hiking shoes...Note sneakers are allowed if covered in duct tape.
5. Daisy BB Gun with pocket full of bb's.

This was a 1 on 1 on 1 fight. We would continue to shoot at each other until somebody gave up, was shot, or ran out of ammunition. Usually we all ran out of ammunition. The time I'm thinking about didn't end so easily.

I remember it like I just came in from the house. We were in the middle of our battle. I was getting mad because Jeff kept ducking just ahead of my shots. That wasn't so bad, but his laughter at my misfortune was maddening. I took a breath and started thinking. Thinking for a young boy is no easy task, we would much rather just do. I decided to figure out a way to win instead of always the tie that we had. I started timing things a little bit and sure enough I got Scott as he popped up from the fence. So he was out of the running and not even broken skin. This was looking up. I knew where Jeff was going to pop up, because he made the mistake of following a little pattern. So the next time his head popped up I was ready and got off my shot. SCORE!!! But he fell straight back like somebody hit him with a bat.

I hollered to Scott and we ran to the fence and jumped over into the other yard. There was Jeff sitting on the ground crying and.........BLEEDING!!!! "You're in trouble now!!" Those were the words out of my friends mouth. Jeff was too busy screaming bloody murder to say anything. So doing what any good friend would do we grabbed him by the arms and dragged him to the back porch and started screaming for his mom. She came running out and saw the blood running off his head and was immediately in action. She grabbed him up and we all ran to the car.

30 minutes later, Jeff was receiving a bandage on his forehead. The bb broke the skin and sat lodged in his forehead almost directly between his eyes. To this day he carries the scar. I lost my bb gun privileges for I think forever. I was grounded and a few other punishments were thrown on there. Looking back though it was all worth it, because I was legend after that incident. I was considered a dead eye by the other boys in the neighborhood now. That made for many good hunting trips later in life as they remembered that all the way through school.

So I guess I was ready for the military a little bit earlier than some because I was already putting into practice what they taught me some 11 years later.

B.R.A.S.S.

The Journey is Half the Fun?!?

2010-02-15T19:06:00.000-08:00

I always prided myself on having a ton of patience. Lately I've realized that is sort of a lie. I think that I have very little patience after all.

I've come to the conclusion that reading has done this to me. Now how can reading possibly make somebody have less patience you might ask? It's really quite simple. When you read a book of any length, the things that are happening in the story don't happen in real time. A young boy witnesses the death of his father, he runs away from the danger to be raised by a nomadic tribe. While he is with them he learns all sorts of survival skills that better equip him to handle physical situations. As well as teaching him to "commune" with nature and be one with his environment. That's a not too uncommon theme in a lot of adventure books. The problem is that when the story picks up again the boy is grown up and has already learned all this stuff. The story moved along and he is self sufficient and sometimes already becoming successful and wealthy.

I want that. As I read these stories it sounds so great. Learn all these really great things and go out and take the world by storm. There is just one problem....It doesn't happen overnight in real life. We have to actually commit to our goals, we have to make priorities and follow through with a plan. No guarantees either. We could work for years to attain that goal only to find that it's a pretty sad state we are left in.

There are no do-overs. Sure we can go along a different path and try something else, but you can never get back the time you invest. I was always told to enjoy the ride, because the journey is half the fun. Maybe that's true, but I'm still waiting. Don't get me wrong I have so many things to be grateful for. I have a great family and a good job. I'm fairly healthy. Those are all things I should be thankful for each and every day. BUT.....I want more. I want that storybook ride. You know where you go in and take down the bad guy, become the hero and save the day. The community thinks you are a swell guy and little kids want to be like you.

Unfortunately that is why it's a story. It's meant to inspire or frighten. To motivate you to some emotion. Well congrats to the authors of all these books I read, you have indeed motivated me to some emotion, and lately it's been irritation. So I've decided to just try that advice I always got when I was a bit younger. I'm gonna enjoy the ride and see if the journey really is half the fun.

I guess I should be happy that I don't have 3 feet of snow blocking my doorway. No mudslides and no freaky storms of any kind lately. It's high 60's and the sun is shining most of the day. So I guess it could be worse.. While I'm enjoying the "ride" I'm still going to keep my eyes open for that one chance to save the family from the burning building or stop the runaway car, cause you just never know right?

Favorite Things

2010-02-12T12:19:00.000-08:00

I have to say first of all that I have not been able to return to my most awesome of dreams. I think that it's still a pretty good premise for a story, and I will probably try to use my pre-existing characters from other stories to write something of this one ....

I tried desperately to find ways to return to that dang dream. I tried the cheese, I read about half of The Stand again. Watched 3 of the 4 chapters of the movie as well. Nothing worked though. That doesn't mean that I didn't have some other really weird dreams. Surprisingly I had some mixed up dreams dealing with The Stand and a few other books that I've read recently. The surprising part is that I read a lot of westerns, primarily Louis L'Amour. Let me tell you that a Western setting for the end of the world makes for waking up with a bad case of the sweats. It was just creepy.

Recently I had begun reading The Lonesome Gods by Louis L'Amour. One of my favorite all time books. It's set in the beginning days of Los Angeles. Louis L'Amour gives you some good history with his stories, so you can't really lose. I have also noticed that he gives some strong opinions on characters in some of his stories. Cullen Baker is a noted gunman, and L'Amour pictures him far different than history books do in a few of his stories. Baker is not in the Lonesome Gods, but he was the best example I could think of for L'Amour's opinions.

Regardless of all that, I was a good portion of the way into the book, and I started to think about other things that are my favorites. I have a bunch of favorite things, so I figured this would be a fairly good venue to share a few of them (maybe more than a few).

My favorite book is The Stand, but closely followed by The Lonesome Gods and The Comstock Lode. I like the end of the world scenario as I always wondered what I would do if I had nobody but me to rely on. I think that's what attracts me to western writing as well. The characters in most L'Amour books are on their own. They have to make their way the best they can, without the help of many people, and sometimes in spite of other people.

My favorite TV show is Sliders. If you don't know what this is, I will give you the brief intro. A genius college student discovers a way to travel between dimensions. Guess I should say that he is also the one that discovers the existence of multiple dimensions. Along with 3 others he travels to another dimension and they have a slight incident that prevents them from returning to their own dimension. They must wander until they can find a way home. Once again I think that this plays on my love of somebody having to do for themselves. These 4 have to rely on their own wits and most often common sense to keep them out of trouble while they find their way home.

My favorite movie is a bit more difficult... I think that all time my favorite is The Stand. I am a movie freak so to speak. I love watching movies and I own a ton of them. The only thing better then revisiting a movie is revisiting a book. I'll just mention a couple of others that have "done" it for me as far as movies go. Independence Day....I could not believe that critics said Bill Pullman did a bad job as president. His Independence Day speech in the movie was great. Rocky is up ther for me too.... Are you seeing a pattern here, cause I'm starting to notice it more and more. All about the fight in my opinion. I love the underdog, and I really love when the underdog wins.

Before this gets too long, I'll end it with my favorite sports. There are 2 ways of looking at this for me. My favorite to watch and favorite to play.

As a spectator there is nothing more interesting to me than a good football game. PERIOD!!!! The fact that a 300 lb man can run a 40 yard dash in 4.7 seconds is amazing....

To play it has to be baseball...That was my first love and I will be buried with a glove and cleats in my coffin ( a little morbid I know). I'm sorta old for it now, but if I get a chance again, I'll go play some softball or even old man baseball. That over 40 league is pretty rough when you are actually over 40.

Well if you managed to stay awake through all of this Thank you! After reading this myself I realized that I have some pretty definite tastes...Opinions I have plenty of and now you see a little bit of where I get them from ........

The Stand.....In DreamVision

2010-02-09T13:06:00.000-08:00

I'm sure I've mentioned it at one time or another. My favorite movie is The Stand. By a strange coincidence it's also one of my top 3 reads. I won't say I'm a huge Stephen King fan, but some of his writing just boggles my mind. The guy has an imagination that is strictly otherworldly.

I'm also sure that I've mentioned I read Kristy at This Train of Thought has been Derailed In a couple of posts she has mentioned the end of the world and being prepared to cope with it like this example here . So I guess this has been stuck in my head lately, because I had the most extraordinary dream last night. I don't usually remember a whole lot about my dreams. Little tidbits sorta like catching part of the preview of a movie. you know what the basis of the picture is, but couldn't really tell how the storyline is going to build or even if the actors are any good.

In my dream, the world had indeed come to a near end. I was not privy to the why of the devastation. I only know that I was a survivor. I also realized that this was not the me that lives every day as a safety guy. This was a me from some different dimension I guess. I didn't have a wife or kids, I was a little bit Mad Max and a little bit Waterworld. You know a rebel with no real direction.

The reason I know that I read too much of The Stand is because in my dream I was heading for a location that was told to me in my dreams. I didn't know why I was going there, but I met other people along the way that were headed there too. I guess I was also a little bit Stu Redman..lol (main The Stand character). So to make a long story short, I arrived at the location I was trying to reach, and it was a deserted military base. This base was deserted, and had been for some time.

I remember that I was dressed in military fatigues and was leadinig this group of people somewhere else. Although I couldn't say where we were headed. In fact I don't even know where we came to. I just know that the base was isolated in the forest, not in an underground bunker, and it wasn't built into a mountain. It sorta reminded me of Yosemite Valley. So we found weapons and a humvee and were headed out in convoy to wherever it was we were headed. The last thing I remember was we ran over a mine of some sort in the road that we were driving on. The humvee was flipped upside down and I lived through it. I guess I'm pretty selfish or self-centered, cause I don't remember if anybody else in the group survived. I woke up to my alarm clock at about that time.

I'm going to hope that I can get back to that one tonight. Cause I definitely feel a part 2 has to be in the works somewhere there. What a story this could be if I can keep writing down what my weird mind is creating. So I think tonight I'll go home and watch about an hour of The Stand and read about 3 chapters as well. THEN and only then will I try to sleep again.

Fingers are crossed for another chapter in the story..........

Fate, Coincidence or Destiny

2010-02-06T18:45:00.000-08:00

In a previous post I mentioned a hospital stay my little boy had when he was an infant. He was very suddenly sick, and I was at work. My wife called me and told me that something wasn't right. She was a bit in shock as to what was going on and it was evident in the tone of her voice. I immediately left work and we took Eap (nickname) to the doctor.

They were stumped and ran blood tests, hooked him up to the heart monitor and check every sign they could think of. No fever, just listless almost like a zombie. They tested him to see if he had been poisoned (that's not a pleasant thought when they are asking you if you could have poisoned your child). Nothing came back as a positive. So the doctor suggested that it could be something else that I don't even remember the name of anymore. He wanted a spinal tap done. My wife and I waited outside the room, since the doctor said it was much easier to do this without a parent there. We didn't know they had done it, because my son didn't cry. There was a negative result from that test too, so off we headed for the children's hospital.

At the hospital we were placed in a room and told that he couldn't be fed. They figured that this would make him testy and a little angry and then he would cry. I have to mention here that we have one of the finest pediatric hospitals in the nation here, and I was completely unimpressed with it. They treated us like we weren't even there most of the time. Most of the patients at that time came directly from Kaiser and we weren't Kaiser members so we were treated like outsiders. They provided care, but it almost seemed like a chore.

Three days of sheer hell ensued. We didn't get any answers and he didn't eat. No fussing, no complaining, no crying. Scary scary scary. We were just about at our wits end.

I've always believed I'm a man of faith. I am the first to admit that I don't practice it nearly as much as I should or could. I tend to question my faith a great deal too. That is the main reason that I am sure God is there. He has pushed me back in line more times than I can count. I do something stupid and for some reason or another something else comes along that allows me a chance to fix the mistake. Of course these times are when we seem to jump to our faith the most, we beg, plead and bargain for help. If he will fix this we will go to church till we die, we won't cuss, steal, cheat or drink. No more smoking or bad thoughts. Whatever it takes. Of course generally we forget that little promise as fast as the crisis passes. I was so overcome that I wasn't even thinking of promises to make, I was just begging for something to make my little boy better.

The third day as I was sitting in the room, my parents and in-laws were there. My dad told me to go sit outside and get some air. I took my nephew with me and we sat out in the courtyard where they have a little play area for the siblings of the children that are sick. As I was sitting there watching the other children play I struck up a conversation with a man who was sitting there watching his nephew also.

Turns out this guy had another nephew in the hospital with meningitis. The boy was 14 years old, and they just didn't know what was going to happen. This was all new to them and the parents were scared to death about it. I told this man that I had meningitis when I was in 7th grade but mine was bacterial so it probably wouldn't be the same. He was silent for a moment. He told me that his nephew did indeed have bacterial meningitis. The staff at the hospital told the family that they only had one other recorded case of this and that was from the 70's. Turns out I was the only other recorded case. He asked if I would consider talking to the parents and let them know my experience. I told him to hang on and ran back to my son's room. I explained to my wife and told her I had to go speak with these people. They needed to know that there is hope. That was the first spark of life I saw in her eyes in 3 days. She said I better get over there.

I spoke with his family for about 20 or 30 minutes. I told them my story and explained that it wasn't easy, but I did indeed beat it. I learned to walk again, got a tutor for my missed time at school and even went on to continue playing sports througout high school and even as an adult. You should have seen the way these people perked up when they realized that there is definitely a chance for this boy.

I felt much better as I left that room. My nephew came with me and even he was smiling as we walked back to my son's room. We started to get a little down as we got closer to the room. I heard a bunch of talking as we got to the door. Excited chatter that made me as nervous as could be. I immediately figured that something had happened and the doctors and nurses were in there to provide emergency care for my son.

Walking through the door the first thing I saw was my mom holding my little boy. He was screaming bloody murder. That was the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. I was told that as the nurse came in to check his vitals he just suddenly started screaming. My wife immediately picked him up and he screamed even louder. The doctor came in and check him to make sure that he wasn't screaming in pain. Turned out the only pain was the one in his stomach cause he hadn't eaten. They gave him a bottle shortly after I got there and we went home later that evening. Still not knowing what the ailment was.

It took me about 2 weeks to realize that my son came out of his "funk" about the time I got done speaking with that family. I have to wonder what the odds were that they would have found me if my son wasn't sick in the hospital. Probably pretty slim. Now you can call this a coincidence, it would seem like it. I think it was something a little bit more. I think I was meant to be there. I think that the family of that poor boy needed some hope and this was the way they got it, by realizing that somebody else had been through it, and that somebody walked away from it too.

Take from it what you want. I just know that those were the 3 worst days of my life, but they had a pretty happy ending. I never did find out if that boy completely recovered or not. I know that he didn't die from this. I think about that family everytime my son gets a sniffle or a fever. Now days I realize that my son suffered a whole lot, but it was for a good cause. I have told him this story and his only response was "Well I'm ok now, so I guess it was lucky that it happened."

An Apple a Day

2010-02-05T08:11:00.000-08:00

Anybody who has read a few of my posts will know that I am a family oriented man. My family is ground zero for me. Everything else extends from that. It's how I was raised and what I experienced growing up.

I have known a few setbacks from illness and injury in my life. That's all they were though, just setbacks. I eventually recovered and moved on. Most of the time I was a little better for the experience. My poor mom and dad though, they suffered through all of my childhood mishaps and didn't miss a beat as far as I could tell.

What I didn't realize is that worry is the second thing you feel as a parent. First was love. I was there for my kids births and I was immediately in love with those little saggy wrinkled up faces. Hard to explain if you don't have kids. The second thing I felt was worry. What if..... What if they stop breathing at the hospital? What if they stop breathing at home. They are small and helpless and my wife and I are the only things standing in the way from all the bad things in the world.

My oldest son was plagued with ear infections and high fevers. For the first year of his life he had an ear infection a month and that was always accompanied with a fever over 103. He handled it like a champ though. He didn't complain a lot, he didn't whine about anything. He just sorta took it. I can remember him sitting in the bathtub running a fever of almost 104. We had pumped him full of ibuprofen and he was sitting there all flush and smiling eating a Popsicle telling me that he was feeling a little better. I knew he wasn't but he just wanted me to relax. Even at that age they know when you are wound up with worry.

My middle boy was not sick ever. But he can't stand up without getting a bump, bruise, cut, or burn. The kid is accident prone to no end, but resilient as can be. He has had stitches a few times, and he never fussed over the accident that cause them for more than a couple minutes. He has a high threshold for pain (like his dad).

The littlest of the clan has his share of normal kid sickness, but he was in the hospital for an unknown illness once. We found him in his crib as an infant just laying there listless and a small spot of dark liquid he had vomited. We didn't know what was going on and he was brought to the doctor and then the hospital. They never figured out what it was, but that kid went through a spinal tap and IV's without a peep. He was unresponsive for 3 days, and on the 4th he was completely back to normal. To this day they don't have an answer. i have a few thoughts on that and I'll share them in another post.

The point of all that is, the kids handled their respective illness and injury like it was business as usual. I on the other hand lost years and years of my life worrying over them. It's not a healthy kind of worry, because there isn't anything you can do for them. That doesn't mean I can stop worrying about them either.

I never gave much thought to it when I was having surgery or laid up in the hospital sick. I just knew that it wasn't my time yet. I knew that I was going to get better, but I had no way to comfort those that were worried about me. Fortunately for me, I was too busy being sick to think much on that part of it.

Now as a parent I get to be on that side of the fence more often. I am quite certain that I would rather be sick, because then I can be selfish and just worry about me.

My little one complained about a headache this morning. He doesn't usually cry wolf about being sick. I was immediately ready to let him stay home from school and got out the Tylenol and other assortment of medicines that I might be able to force down his throat to ensure that he stayed at least comfortable. Then I realized that I was over reacting. I got him talking and he forgot about his headache and was more than ready to get to school. I'm hopeful that it is just the remnants of the cold he is fighting off, but time will tell.

Being a parent is in the same moment the greatest and worse thing that has ever happened to me. I can't imagine my life without my boys, but do you think that they could just ease up on dad and stay healthy for maybe the next 40 years or so?

Just in case I've laid in a huge supply of bananas and oranges, but most importantly APPLES!! I don't know if that whole an apple a day thing is true, but I figure it's worth a shot. I've got apples, applesauce, apple jelly, apple crisps, and apple gogurt (yogurt in a tube is cool)!!! Yeah I'm just that bad..

My kids roll their eyes at me when I get on my "be healthy" kick. They take it with a grain of salt though. So for all you parents out there that are dealing with sick or injured youngsters. Take heart. We all know that one day they will have their own and then THEY get to put on the worry shirt.

Gotta wonder how I will handle being a grand parent.............

So This Guy Walks Into a Bar

2010-02-03T23:41:00.000-08:00

We've all heard them before, those tacky, tasteless, so bad they are funny jokes. I don't pay much attention to them anymore, because I'm convinced that I've heard just about all of them. They usually aren't that funny, and they border on offensive at times.

Regardless they are still just jokes right? They aren't meant to hurt some one's feelings. They are a sometimes misguided attempt to make us laugh. The same goes for giving somebody a hard time when they make a silly mistake. It's not intended (usually) to offend or demean. It's meant so that everybody can have a laugh, sometimes it's at our expense but hey that's just the way the game is played.

Now days you can't tell a tasteless joke, or make an offhand comment without somebody getting butt hurt. There is always some group or foundation being formed to eradicate the world of these "insensitive" remarks and gestures. The one that has just raised my cockles (I like that word) is a group that is trying to get the California legislature to remove all phrases of "Mentally Retarded" and "Retarded" from the wording in any of the laws or regulations on the books....Really??? Have we sunk so far that we are no offended by even the legitimate use of words?

I was listening to a program this evening and they spoke of a group that is working towards this end. They seem to believe it is demeaning towards people with legitimate mentally debilitating conditions. I am the first person to defend against taunting someone because they are different. I believe that is what makes this country great is our diversity, but are we really gonna spend millions and millions of dollars to appease some mom who thinks that the word retarded is going to hurt her child's feelings?

Do we stop using other words now for fear that somebody else could become offended? Is imbecile no longer allowed? Did the imbeciles of the world have a choice when their IQ was below 70 or whatever number is the indicator. Should we stop selling bread that is marked white because white people are offended by the term white bread? perhaps we will call it Caucasian loaf??? Hey don't you dare buy something called Cracker Jacks, cause that's RACIST!!!

I'm sick of people having thin skin. I hate the fact that I have to tread lightly whenever I have a conversation now, just because somebody will feint offense at the slightest hint of a word that could be misconstrued that way. Time to buck up people, we have far better things to do with our taxpayer dollars than change the books to remove and replace the verbiage of 40 year old laws.

When are we gonna wake up and try to work on the things that matter? When are we gonna realize that a word is not what is holding us back? Lately I've heard so much about how Martin Luther King would be so proud to see how far we've come. I'm thinking more and more than we are just trading our our advances with our defeats. We can elect a black man to the presidency, but we have to worry about somebody suing for 11 million dollars cause they spilled hot coffee on their lap.

A guy walks into a bar with a dog. He claims the dog can talk. "Give me a beer and I'll show you." The bartender slides a beer to him and the man asks the dog, "Fido, what is that above our heads?" The dog says, "Roof!" The irritated bartender says, "That's not talking, he sounds like any other dog." The man says, "OK, how about this - Fido, who was the best baseball player of all time?" The dog says, "Ruth!" The bartender throws the man and the dog out of the bar. Fido says to the man, "Ya think I shoulda said DiMaggio?"

I always did like that one......

Soothes the Savage Beast

2010-02-02T16:51:00.000-08:00

I believe the saying goes Music can soothe the savage beast.... If not it's something similar to that, and besides I'm sure you guys have heard the term in one form or another. I have been reading in a bunch of posts lately things relating to music. I think it's one of the few things that all of us have in common. MOST people enjoy music of some form or another. While we might not like the same type, we like some type and that should hint a little bit at the fact that maybe we aren't all that damn different after all.

I'll share that I'm a former band geek. Ian brought up cliques and I guess I fit into a few of them. I was in band from 4th grade till the end of my freshman year of high school. I played the trumpet, flugelhorn, and french horn when called upon (which I really hated). I stepped away from marching band in 10th grade because that was a conflict for me with football. I was definitely a jock at heart. I loved sports as a kid. I played ball of one form or another throughout my childhood, and into adulthood. I have had many friends from different teams I've played on and some I still talk with to this day. That's for another post though...

I was decent in band. I played in drum and bugle corps also and that I kept up all through high school. that was sorta my secret and not many knew that I was doing that while still maintaining jock status :)

That's not really the music I'm talking about though...I knew I loved music from a fairly young age. My dad played in a band and I grew up on Joe Cocker, Foghat, Boston, Bad Company and The Stones. My taste were a little bit differnt than that growing up though...I'm pretty diverse, and listened to everything from Run DMC to Peter Frampton.

I came to find out that I could change my moods pretty quickly depending on what I listened to. If I wanted to work out, I listened to AC/DC or Boston, if I wanted to fall asleep maybe John Waite. People can say what they want, but nothing can put me in road rage quicker than The Offspring or Live...Something about the tempo that just makes me wanna GO GO GO!!!!

I discovered Country at the age of 19 and I have to say, that I wasn't all that impressed at first. Garth Brooks, and Randy Travis changed all that for me. My grandparents listened to that OLD country, I can't handle too much of that, but give me some good ol' Toby Keith now and I'm pretty happy. I also learned that Country Music can change my moods just as fast as pop and rock did. Wanna speed up a little bit, don't bother with a caffeine kick, just turn on some Brooks and Dunn. Need to get to sleep, try a little Tracy Byrd.

Regardless of what mood it puts you in, when you are listening to music, the world is just a little bit better. Things just seem to flow better for me at least. I've recently started listening to more and more classical music (getting old I know). It's so relaxing and I find that I can actually concentrate with it playing lightly in the background.

So put on that old cd you just found or download a few more songs on your Ipod, or do like I do and use the *gasp* radio. Anyway you like, just remember that music soothes the savage beast, and it does a pretty good job on the cranky blogger too...