So much for Mr. Nice Guy
Well I guess I'm a little fed up. I figure I must be a little irritated cause I haven't even posted here in like 5 days. So anyway, here is my situation.
For those that don't know, I was married previously. I divorced almost 15 years ago. From my first marriage I have a son, Andrew. Now Andrew is a good kid in a bad situation. From a religious standpoint (formerly Catholic), I'm a bad bad dude. It's just not something you are supposed to do. Of course if I give the church money, they would indeed annul my marriage. There are of course a ton of ramifications that come with that, so I didn't choose that road.
Regardless, I pay child support. I have been doing so for 15 years now. With the exception of a short time when I first got divorced and was struggling, I am on time, I see my son and we have a good relationship. I have 2 younger sons with my wife now, and they have a good relationship with their brother also (if that is possible between young brothers).
The whole problem started when I had my son come and live with me for a year. He was having a ton of problems with his mom and stepfather, and wanted to come live with me and see if that would clear up some of the problems. I was more than happy to accommodate, since I have wanted my boy here with me for some time. I always felt that I made a big mistake in not getting 50% physical custody back when he was little. Since I can't change the past, I was hoping that we could do a little something with the current.
I am a family focused person. My family is the world to me. My wife, kids, parents, and siblings are very important to me, and I have hopefully influenced my children in that respect. So anyway, my boy came and lived with me for a year, and while his schoolwork faltered (I'm not good at forcing school issues), his social skills flourished. He developed friendships outside of school, that he had never managed before, and was actually doing things on the weekends besides sitting in front of the TV or video games. A little background on my son, he is ADHD and bipolar. I have a tough time finding the bipolar aspects in him. After being with him day and night for a year I don't see it, but the doctor seems to think so.
So for a year I had Andrew, but they continued to take child support from me. His mother said that she would just give me the support payments as they came to her. Well this didn't happen of course, and I'm not that cold hearted (usually). I figured that times were pretty hard for her, and she would get it back to me. So I switched jobs, and the child support stopped coming out of my check. I figured that was OK, since I have my son. Guess what it's not OK. They started sending letters, and I told them that he lives with me. I was told to get a note stating that, well his mother said that she wouldn't give me a note and then she had him move back home.
So I guess it was about the money all along. So now they zapped my account to $0. I can't buy a dang hamburger if I wanted to at this point. No movie for the little ones this weekend, and no response from the ex. I find it really hard at times like this to believe in the system. Since I'm the non-custodial parent, I'm automatically the bad guy. I must be to blame. They don't want to hear what the situation is they just want you to shut up and pay them. I shudder at the thought of the government getting further into my pockets than they are now. If this is how they handle a simple misunderstanding with child support, I can only imagine how they will handle health care.
So I have made phone calls, and sent emails, and who knows maybe one person who cares a little bit will bother to look over the information and fix the problem before they turn off my phone, pg&e, cable and everything else I send a check to pay for...
They system truly sucks, but from now on I'm gonna have to just realize that the other guy or gal (still use the word gal sorry) isn't looking out for anyone but themselves, and unfortunately I will have to become that way too if I want to survive in this system....
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