Not Feelin' It............  

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I guess I have been caught up in my own little world lately. I'm on the computer mostly for work, and the occasional FB thingy....(can't get away from that for some reason.) Work has unfortunately become just I used to enjoy my days, but lately it's just a job and I'm pretty sure it's because of all the rest of the stuff that goes on.

For those that didn't know. My father is not well. He has along with emphezyma, Bronchiectasis. So my parents spent a week in Stanford while they ran tests on him to decide if he would make a good candidate for a lung transplant. It turns out that he very well may make the cut for a double lung transplant. I never thought I would say that I'm happy to hear that my dad could receive something like this.

I've watched him go from being out of breath on occasion, to taking breathing treatments once a day, to now taking breathing treatments 4 times a day while being hooked up to oxygen all the time. To say that it's disturbing is to minimize it. I know that he is feeling sorry for himself, and I try to keep him out of that funk. It's not easy to tell somebody in that shape to quit acting like a baby but I find that as long as we continue to treat him like we always have things seem to be a bit easier. He doesn't like the loss of freedom and I don't blame him one bit. I help where I can without seeming to be too intrusive.

It turns out that they aren't really sure what gave him this. They thought at first it was his smoking. He hasn't smoked in almost 30 years and they thought it was residual damage from that, then they found out that he worked for a chemical company making pesticides back in the 70's. They have concluded that it is more likely this was the cause of this disease.

So now we wait for news from these doctors. It's an odd feeling to wait while you realize that total strangers are getting together to discuss whether your father deserves a chance to live or not. The staff at Stanford has been nothing short of wonderful to my father as well as the rest of my family and for that I'm eternally grateful. They don't treat him like just another patient, they treat him like a friend and I couldn't ask for more.

So here I sit wondering what to do with myself. I decided that maybe this would be a good time to just give a little update and say "I'm still here." Forgive me for the absence, I will continue to try and get here as much as I can. In the meantime I will tell you to make sure that you let your loved ones know what they mean to you. I am lucky because no matter what my father knows that I love him. He knows that because I have the chance to still tell him. I get to still be with him and no matter how much time he has, be it a year or 20, he will always know that.

My hero isn't quite the physical figure he once was, but I find that no matter, he still has the right stuff on the inside. I could only hope to hold up as well as he has so far. All I can say is be strong pop, and don't quit fighting. We are gonna beat this...........

Out of Circulation..Giving the Update......  

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It's been an "interesting" month. I thought that things would settle in when I got back from this training last month, but instead they have gone absolutely crazy. I feel like when I try to explain things to the guys at work lately it is more like I'm scolding my children for not cleaning their room. Why do grown men and women play dumb about the most simple task like throwing something in the garbage as compared to dropping it where they stand?

So work is busy, and family is busy. I guess that's a good thing. We are doing "stuff". Not sure if it's all good stuff, but at least we are moving forward. My kids are planning to drive my wife completely crazy I think. They know that they only have 3 months to do it before school starts and things become a bit more normal. I give the boys credit because they are troopers and have come up with some truly inventive ways to make my wife pull her hair out. I try to run interference, but I'm learning that makes me a target so I think that I'll stay out of that one... :)

The biggest thing really going on right now is with my pop. He has bad lungs. He's had this condition for a long time, but recently it's become worse, and they have decided to send him to Stanford and San Francisco to look into the possibility of a lung transplant. To say that he's nervous would be an understatement. I do know that this would be a great thing if they accepted him into the transplant program. Quality of life is something that many of us don't stop and think on. Without it we are just using oxygen (some of us not as much as others). He's not happy, and I think this could be the difference for him. After everything he has sacrificed I think he deserves this (ok, I'm a bit biased on this one). So we are crossing fingers, toes and every other appendage that will cross. If you are into the whole praying thing, PLEASE add my pop to the list.

So I am trying to balance, everything, and obviously my blogging has suffered (that also depends on if you consider my blog worth reading). I think I have it worked out and am trying to get here regular now.

So enjoy the summer ( unless you are on the east coast..yuck heatwave). I hit the beach today and it was a cool 63 degrees with a nice breeze blowing. I could get used to that, unfortunately the beach is a few hours away so we will have to wait for another trip to the water.