Buyer Beware?? No...Driver Beware!  

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On occasion (when my boss hates me), I have to drive to a few workshops or other informational seminars regarding some of the "stuff" I have to handle. Lots of regulations, policies, and procedures to remember and they feel that sometimes it's a good idea to have a refresher or two. I don't have a problem with the concept.

My problem starts when they inform me that I will travel a few hours for a class that is only a few hours. It's counterproductive in my opinion. I found out that my opinion doesn't matter all that much, so off I went. It was a shorter trip than some as I was only expected to travel up to the Stockton area which is only about 3 hours from where I work. No problem thinks me, I can get there, get er' done and get back by the end of the actual work day. I forgot to factor one thing in my equation that would have told me how long it would take.....The other driver.

We have all had our fair share of bad drivers I'm sure. Too slow, too fast, texting, talking on the phone. I have great luck in that I encountered all of these on the way. There were a few more as well. One bright guy was reading his newspaper that was sitting on his passenger seat as he drove 55 mph in the fast lane. A woman was putting on some form of makeup around her eyes or on her eyes or eyelashes, I couldn't really tell which since she went flying by me at about 85 mph and not more than 5 minutes later I was passing her because she was now doing about 50 mph.

I got to the point that I figured it was my duty as a good citizen to make these people aware of their thoughtless ways. I made a point of honking at every driver who was text messaging while driving. I honked at every driver who was talking on their phone. I honked at one guy who was taking a leak on the side of the highway...ON THE SIDE OF THE HIGHWAY in mid morning traffic...Are you serious??

I started to realize that maybe those 5 cups of coffee might be adding to my frustration, so I stopped at Starbucks for a 6th. I was back on the road and ready to face them all. By the time I reached my destination, I'm quite sure my battery was losing a charge from all the honking I did. I'm also sure that my finger was cramping from all the people I gave the #1 sign to.

My glorious trip was made complete by the fact that our meeting took exactly 25 minutes less than my drive to this place. Now that is some time management. I made sure that I called my boss on the way back (I use blue ant) and told him what a wonderful guy he is, and what a command management decision he made in having me "refresh my memory" on this particular subject.

So to hell with caution when you are buying, because we are all broke anyway. Be far more nervous when you are driving. I think that they need to take all these furloughed DMV people we have here in California and maybe have them give a workshop on how to friggin drive on the highway. They can get their Friday workday back and maybe just maybe one or two of these less than enlightened individuals will get a clue!

The only other option I have come up with is purchasing a tank with a working turret. Now let's see you cut me off while you are text messaging your girlfriend you snot nosed brat!

This entry was posted at Saturday, April 24, 2010 and is filed under , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


Some drivers deserve to be shot! After 6 cups of coffee... I'm surprised it wasn't you, peeing on the side of the road. That's an idea. Next time, load the coffee canon, take aim and fire at all the annoying drivers. Find relief, in more ways than one.

April 24, 2010 at 6:34 AM

A guy was taking a leak near the highway in the morning?!? Wow, um, okay :P Some people should definitely NOT be driving, I agree with you on that. You really made me laugh with the honking thing ;)

April 24, 2010 at 6:42 AM

Yeah, stopping for that sixth cup may not be a good idea.
Driving is not so bad on the highway, if traffic is light, even though it was a waste of your time.
When I was in field support, I once drove 100 miles one-way to a customer to find the problem was, his PC was not plugged in.

April 24, 2010 at 6:47 AM

I pictured you as Michael Douglas in that movie where he just gets fed up and flies into a rage! lol You had me laughing at you honking at everyone - did you do it to the beat of a song?

April 24, 2010 at 7:29 AM

Ms. Anthropy....It could have been me except I ran into Starbucks and used their really clean restroom :)
Lol@ the coffee canon

Sarah...Near it is a pretty accurate description..He had his door open to hid his "business" and was taking care of it (business) right there over the white line...

Joe...But it was that 6th cup that cave me that little something extra I needed...I love my grande Americano...
I'm lovin that ...not plugged in..ha ha

Kristy...THAT is the movie I was thinking of when I got home....I promise that next time I will pick a good piece of music to rampage to :)

April 24, 2010 at 8:10 AM

Hey, little mister, did your mother not tell you to turn the other cheek, be better than everyone else? Maybe next time you can just say a lot of FUCKs in your car so I don't have to worry about you becoming the next headline for road rage. LMAO.

April 24, 2010 at 8:35 AM

All of those drivers desperately need one of those robotic cars that drive by themselves, that way they can sit in the back seat and scratch their crotch while texting all they want without endangering "us" normal people.

April 24, 2010 at 9:45 AM

Momma Fargo..Mom did indeed tell me that, but my dad always told me I could think it, just so long as I didn't act on it...See there is a reason for rage in the name of my blog after all :)

Note: no idiot drivers were hurt in the making of this post (but I thought some really evil things)

Desertson..Ah yes robotics would be nice...except I would get nervous like in IRobot that the car wouldn't do what I wanted it to...or maybe that's just my paranoid side coming out a little bit.

April 24, 2010 at 10:21 AM

“Grasshopper, it is only when we find the path to inner-serenity, that we can cease following the path of others, which always leads us to anger…”

Screw that, I hate those assholes too. If they’re gonna pass a “hands free” law, then why the hell don’t they enforce the damn thing? Obviously, I have yet to find the proper path…

April 24, 2010 at 1:06 PM

Pat...I think the path you've found is just perfect..(mostly cause I'm on the same one)

April 24, 2010 at 2:51 PM

Really good post! And right on the money.

Many companies are getting smarter--not sending folks off to meetings in other places. Very few things, including seminars, that cannot be covered just as well and at far less cost by using Go2Meeting or similar interactive setting. Except it's not as lucrative to the seminar providers.

Now, go be a hero in your firm and do the legwork to establish interactive meetings. Do a pilot project and show it's effectiveness.

But, if you have to drive, just get out of the way of the idiots. That's why I almost live in my mirrors. It's often the drivers coming up from behind that catch you by surprise.

April 25, 2010 at 9:19 AM

My hubs laughs at me but I have this fantasy where I rig up lasers into my headlights and shoot the bad driver's vehicle, disabling it immediately. Like I'm in some kind of cool X Wing Fighter but not killing, just disabling. Ahhh a girl can dream...

April 25, 2010 at 11:09 AM

Thankfully it's illegal to operate a mobile phone (texting etc) while driving in the UK, so it doesn't happen much (that I've seen). That said there are too many idiots on the road. I find it amazing that you can't own a gun in he UK but they let anyone who can afford the fee drive several tonnes of potential death around without due regard to other road users and pedestrians.

A friend of mine suggested that there should be a facebook-esque website where you could report the idiots of the road. If you appeared three times then the DVLA would remove your licence.

Sounds like sensible policies for a sensible Britain to me, with the General Election coming up in two weeks I may suggest it to some politicians. Here's hoping.


April 25, 2010 at 11:21 AM

Yes Sir, I can relate to the description you gave, hell we see that everytime we get on the freeway it seems other than the guy taking a leak.

California and other states also do need some help---help getting these idiots off the road, give the DMV employees some training rather than giving out licenses to those who actually fail because with this many idiots on the road I wonder if on the furlough days you can get a free license? And when are these states going to begin enforcing the laws they pass, hands free hell---text, read the paper, comb your hair, and take a nap all while driving to work.

Seriously I am thinking the old coffee cannon just may work

April 25, 2010 at 7:37 PM

I love the honking at texters!!! I do this too.

April 25, 2010 at 10:05 PM

I drive and fly a lot for my work....

I try to leave a the buttcrack of dawn so there are very very few cars on the road.... I don't handle traffic well either.... lol

May 2, 2010 at 12:58 AM

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