An Apple a Day  

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Anybody who has read a few of my posts will know that I am a family oriented man. My family is ground zero for me. Everything else extends from that. It's how I was raised and what I experienced growing up.

I have known a few setbacks from illness and injury in my life. That's all they were though, just setbacks. I eventually recovered and moved on. Most of the time I was a little better for the experience. My poor mom and dad though, they suffered through all of my childhood mishaps and didn't miss a beat as far as I could tell.


What I didn't realize is that worry is the second thing you feel as a parent. First was love. I was there for my kids births and I was immediately in love with those little saggy wrinkled up faces. Hard to explain if you don't have kids. The second thing I felt was worry. What if..... What if they stop breathing at the hospital? What if they stop breathing at home. They are small and helpless and my wife and I are the only things standing in the way from all the bad things in the world.

My oldest son was plagued with ear infections and high fevers. For the first year of his life he had an ear infection a month and that was always accompanied with a fever over 103. He handled it like a champ though. He didn't complain a lot, he didn't whine about anything. He just sorta took it. I can remember him sitting in the bathtub running a fever of almost 104. We had pumped him full of ibuprofen and he was sitting there all flush and smiling eating a Popsicle telling me that he was feeling a little better. I knew he wasn't but he just wanted me to relax. Even at that age they know when you are wound up with worry.

My middle boy was not sick ever. But he can't stand up without getting a bump, bruise, cut, or burn. The kid is accident prone to no end, but resilient as can be. He has had stitches a few times, and he never fussed over the accident that cause them for more than a couple minutes. He has a high threshold for pain (like his dad).

The littlest of the clan has his share of normal kid sickness, but he was in the hospital for an unknown illness once. We found him in his crib as an infant just laying there listless and a small spot of dark liquid he had vomited. We didn't know what was going on and he was brought to the doctor and then the hospital. They never figured out what it was, but that kid went through a spinal tap and IV's without a peep. He was unresponsive for 3 days, and on the 4th he was completely back to normal. To this day they don't have an answer. i have a few thoughts on that and I'll share them in another post.

The point of all that is, the kids handled their respective illness and injury like it was business as usual. I on the other hand lost years and years of my life worrying over them. It's not a healthy kind of worry, because there isn't anything you can do for them. That doesn't mean I can stop worrying about them either.

I never gave much thought to it when I was having surgery or laid up in the hospital sick. I just knew that it wasn't my time yet. I knew that I was going to get better, but I had no way to comfort those that were worried about me. Fortunately for me, I was too busy being sick to think much on that part of it.

Now as a parent I get to be on that side of the fence more often. I am quite certain that I would rather be sick, because then I can be selfish and just worry about me.

My little one complained about a headache this morning. He doesn't usually cry wolf about being sick. I was immediately ready to let him stay home from school and got out the Tylenol and other assortment of medicines that I might be able to force down his throat to ensure that he stayed at least comfortable. Then I realized that I was over reacting. I got him talking and he forgot about his headache and was more than ready to get to school. I'm hopeful that it is just the remnants of the cold he is fighting off, but time will tell.

Being a parent is in the same moment the greatest and worse thing that has ever happened to me. I can't imagine my life without my boys, but do you think that they could just ease up on dad and stay healthy for maybe the next 40 years or so?

Just in case I've laid in a huge supply of bananas and oranges, but most importantly APPLES!! I don't know if that whole an apple a day thing is true, but I figure it's worth a shot. I've got apples, applesauce, apple jelly, apple crisps, and apple gogurt (yogurt in a tube is cool)!!! Yeah I'm just that bad..

My kids roll their eyes at me when I get on my "be healthy" kick. They take it with a grain of salt though. So for all you parents out there that are dealing with sick or injured youngsters. Take heart. We all know that one day they will have their own and then THEY get to put on the worry shirt.

Gotta wonder how I will handle being a grand parent.............

This entry was posted at Friday, February 05, 2010 and is filed under , , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

16 comments

Samantha  

Worrying about your kid is horrible! If Bree even sleeps a few minutes over what she usually does, I go rushing into her bedroom to make sure she is still alive. I had hoped that I would grow out of that once she became 5 months old, but now she's 2 and I still do it. Go figure.

Thanks for following my blog! I thoroughly enjoyed this post, and am now your newest follower!

February 5, 2010 at 10:22 AM
Bendigo  

Well thank you Samantha...I'm glad you are along for the ride :)

February 5, 2010 at 10:36 AM
Ian  

I hate that more than anything. I only have one child and he went through so many ear infections he ended up with tubes. Now he has none but I get the same way as you when he gets sick. It just paralyzes my soul.

My dear friend and mentor, Bendigo...another magical post!

Have a great weekend

February 5, 2010 at 10:51 AM
Anonymous  

I have a 10 year old and a 2 year old.

I thought that after having gone through all of the worry with the 10 year old, I would be oh-so-cool-calm-and-collected with the new baby, but no, I was not.

It is love. We worry because we love.

Last year was hell for us. Our 2 year old was sick with one thing after another for 2 months and she kept getting new stuff every time we brought her into the Dr.

She got a cold, followed by an ear infection, then she got hives from the ammoxicillan, then she got another virus with a full body rash.

Then she got the stomach / intestinal flu for 2 weeks!

At one point, during ear infection she had a fever of 105 and the doctor said not to worry until it hit 106.

106!

WTF! Excuse me - I began to worry at 102, thankyouverymuch.

I bow to all parents who have seriously ill kids, how do they do it?

February 5, 2010 at 10:59 AM
Ms. A  

Ahhhh... kids! I'm so anxious and obsessive with mine. It hasn't gotten any easier with the grandkids. I'm the same darn way.

February 5, 2010 at 12:05 PM
Bendigo  

Ian...I understand oh too well the tubes...my oldest had to have them as well..we had to wait for his first birthday before the doctor would do the surgery...glad you liked the post :)

GirlNextDoor...I always wondered how that one degree can make that big of a freakin difference..If my kids is at 105 I'M WORRIED!!! and i agree that 102 is plenty enough for me to worry about.

Ms. Anthropy...So I'm doomed to worry forever is basically what you are telling me right??? dang it... was hoping for a break...lol.thanks for the heads up though...

February 5, 2010 at 2:06 PM
California Keys  

I've been pretty good about not overreacting to the sniffles....

But I am not good at keeping my calm if their temperature rises above 100.... Thank goodness my wife is there to keep my feet on the ground....

February 5, 2010 at 2:53 PM
Me  

I don't have kids, so I can't really know how stressful illness is to go through, but you definitely made me feel sorry for my parents...because I had recurrent ear infections, tubes, I had a spinal cord infection, I choked...shit, poor them :S

I really liked your post, Bendigo, because it's something I'll take with me when I'll be a "real" nurse. You show how important it is to include parents when their kids are sick.

Did I say how much I liked that post? ;)

February 5, 2010 at 3:58 PM
Rambling Russ  

Worrying about the kids is as natural as breathing. You adjust to it.

Being a grandparent though, you worry even more. Because then, the parents are totally in control of the childs welfare. All you can do is advise. And fret. And be there. As the grandkids get to teenage years, you worry more. Because there are risks out there that weren't there when your kids were young.

Worrying about the kids is part of lifes cycle. It's normal, and it's what we do best

February 5, 2010 at 4:31 PM
Pandorah's Box  

I am not a parent, but these are the things I think about constantly. I am not sure I could handle the pressure of the constant worry! I don't know how you do it :)

And your love for your children is touching. I mean that!

February 5, 2010 at 5:17 PM
Kristy  

Since I don't have a child I never really thought about all the worrying a parent does. Interesting perspective. Kinda makes me wonder when you find the time to sleep!

February 5, 2010 at 5:21 PM
Desertson  

Great subject guys, but I think I take ya'll out on this one, hell I could write a book about the highs and lows with my kids...in fact I did write a book about it and I will post a short experience I had with one of my daughters. I'm in to natural medicine a lot and have studied it quite thoroughly so yeah, an apple a day is very good for you. Apples are considered to be a super food with all the nutrients you need for your body. But one thing I know we all agree on is nothing is worse than seeing our kid sick and having that feeling of helplessness.

February 5, 2010 at 6:53 PM
Joe Cap  

Well, my comment is at the bottom of the pile, so you probably won't see it, but I understand.
Until you have kids, you have no idea how much you can love someone.
It must be magical to have several of them, I am pretty tied up with just one!

February 5, 2010 at 10:23 PM
Dayne Gingrich  

You'll never know how much you touch others with your posts. We leave comments, but it's impossible to really KNOW when we're touched by your words.

I gotta say, Bendigo ~ this one got me big time. I'm a new daddy of a 1 yr. old, who's actually a bit sick right now. It just leaves me feeling totally helpless when she runs that fever, or is just plain miserable.

I always "worry," or think about (at the least) about the what-ifs, when it comes to her. I know I shouldn't, as it's mostly out of my control, but it's daddy's protection instinct.

Your love for you kids is absolutely amazing, and definitely touched me here (prolly more than you'll know).

Great, great post!!

Dayne

February 5, 2010 at 11:10 PM
Bendigo  

If your comments are at the top or bottom, trust me guys I read them all...I love the comments and all the feedback I get...I'm glad that we all feel a little bit the same about a whole bunch of things :)

February 6, 2010 at 12:43 AM
Bendigo  

Desertson...all i can say is YOU DA MAN.... To have a family of that size would be completely awesome (and probably a little crazy too)

February 6, 2010 at 12:45 AM

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