Livin' in the Past? I don't think so.....  

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A "friend" of mine read my post about my fishing excursions with my grandfather. He has also read a few of my other posts. I was told that I am living in the past. He told me that if I spend too much time remembering things gone by that I miss the things in front of me. Sounds pretty solid in some respects, except he's totally off base.

I don't live in the past. I visit it for guidance, direction, and sometimes for comfort and support. I believe that our experiences should help us to navigate the rest of our lives more successfully. I look back to some blunders from my younger years and I know better than to try that again. I remember some uplifting times, and I understand how to give that same feeling to someone else (pay it forward). I don't live in a past filled with butterflies and rainbows. I don't live in a past painted with gloom, doom and destruction either.

Maybe it's just me, but I think that we need that balance. Your experiences from the past will better equip you for dealing with today. I guess that it just struck me wrong, but I can't begin to fathom somebody who doesn't want to remember what they have been through, even if it's mostly bad. The fact that you know it, should help you avoid any more of it. If it's good, well dammit you can better understand how to get more of that too.

So to my "friend" who believes I'm living in the past. You sir are mistaken. I simply have decided to use all the tools in my toolbox. If you choose not to that is your choice. The fact that you can't or won't use your experience to better yourself leaves me feeling a bit sorry for you. I don't need the free psychological advice, and in fact I'm a bit offended that you are trying to treat me like I do. If I want some mental health advice I will ask Dayne at Coach your Mind ....He has given me far more insight than you have ever managed to offer. I will refrain from using names but you know who you are. If you want to advise me, make a blog and maybe I'll read it, otherwise post a comment and let's "discuss" it...Now stick that in your pipe and smoke it....

This entry was posted at Monday, February 01, 2010 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

16 comments

People. They're so full of opinions. And they hardly ever know when to keep those opinions to themselves.

Glad you know that there is a difference between living in the past and learning from the past.

February 1, 2010 at 5:14 PM

Well said! I am in total agreement with you. As the old saying goes we are doomed to repeat our mistakes if we don't learn from the past. Plus there are an awful lot of sweet memories to reflect on. Just because we like to recall them does not mean we are living there. That is called stagnation and my friend you are far from that. I have read enough of your posts to know that you are thoroughly enjoying life in the present with your precious children.

February 1, 2010 at 5:21 PM

EXCELLENT post, i loved that, them ole tools still work too.

February 1, 2010 at 5:45 PM

If I had a hat, I tip it. Instead, you'll have to settle for a nod and ponytail shake. Well said! I'm just happy to have a memory, period, whether it's from the past, or five minutes ago. Mine seem to keep disappearing, along with my brain!

February 1, 2010 at 5:56 PM

I think if you were dwelling on negative experiences he might have a point, but this was such a positive experience that I can't see how anyone would see it as anything else. We're a sum of our experiences, and if we can't share them then I know I, for one, would have nothing to talk about, because even recounting your day would be living in the past!

February 1, 2010 at 5:58 PM

I feel like I exercised a demon with that post...Some people just irk me...this is one of those people...he knows me but slightly and assumes so much...Grrrrr...I am hoping that I get a comment from the psychocologist....

February 1, 2010 at 6:43 PM

I think reminding yourself of moments that brought you joy and comfort is wonderful and theraputic. You can appreciate your life so much more by examining your past as well. Great post Bendigo!

February 1, 2010 at 7:19 PM

Well said Bendigo! How dare somebody try to belittle the special memories you have! Those memories have made you the person you are today!

February 1, 2010 at 7:35 PM

The past gives us an insight into the future... er, some great mind had to have said that or maybe I just barely had a epiphany. But I think it's true, we just shouldn't dwell on the past too much and we sure can learn from it.. well said.

February 1, 2010 at 10:50 PM

thanks guys...I am still waiting for a comment from the offending party..lol... I have a feeling he won't want to come to this blog much anymore...I love the memories I have of days gone past, I hope I never lose them..It's a great motivator for me. I wanna be able to give my kids and one day my grandkids what was given to me.

February 2, 2010 at 12:18 AM

Right, firstly we are the product of our experiences, so the past is relevant. After all, he who does not learn from history is doomed to repeat it. Secondly, what is it with people!
We love you Bendigo!

February 2, 2010 at 2:37 AM

I agree with Krisy and Lisa M, as long as they are positive memories, keep them!
I see you are back, Desertson...can't wait to read ALL ABOUT your fishing trip!

February 2, 2010 at 4:08 AM

I am thrilled that you posted what you did on here. I have yet to experience something like that because quite simply, everyone agrees with everything I say *ahem*. But seriously. MAN THE F UP pal and post these comments of yours on that post.

I challenge you to do so. I have only known Bendigo for less than 6 months but I can tell he's alot like me. He's alot like me in the sense that we have thick skins. I have personally disagreed with many a blogger and for fear that I'd get blocked, I didn't. Thankfully I didn't.

But if I don't say what's on my mind directly then what good is it. What good is it hiding behind something?

This is a blog my friend. Blogs are meant to be commented on.

Comment away. Bendigo's waiting.

February 2, 2010 at 12:54 PM

Very, VERY well written. Especially the part about using all the tools in your toolbox. I completely agree. If it wasn;t for my tumultuous past, I wouldnt have learned all that I have so far. This is extremely important to me.

So thank you Bendigo, for remembering your past because it has made you a lovely person today.

February 2, 2010 at 1:37 PM

Well I've stewed over this long enough..Thanks one and all for your support...I am gonna keep checking back on this post JUST IN CASE somebody grows a set and posts something :)

February 2, 2010 at 4:24 PM

God, it's not like you're brooding about your past 24 hours/day..! When you live in the past literally, usually, it's to forget your present miserable life, and somehow, I don't think this description fits you! :P

February 3, 2010 at 1:57 PM

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