Chivalry...Good Manners??  

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I was raised to open the door for people as we entered a building. It didn't matter if it was a man, woman, or child. I can almost feel the flick on the back of my head if I didn't open the door at the bank, or shoe store to this day.

With that in mind, I was at the convenience store yesterday. I jumped out of the truck and headed to the door. Coming up the sidewalk was a young gal (20's) and an older man (60's). I just opened the door without thinking of it, to let them go first. The girl stopped and looked at me with a somewhat dirty look and asked me, "Do I look helpless?" I told her of course not, I was just trying to be considerate. The old man walked right by her with a little smile and thanked me then proceeded to walk in the door. She stood there waiting for me to close the door so she could open it herself. I am stubborn though so I just stood there with the door open and she finally gave in and walked through.

It got me to thinking, is that normal now? Are we bad people if we open the door for somebody? Whatever happened to a little big of consideration for your fellow man/woman? I was just a little bit irritated and almost felt guilty for trying to be a nice person.

If not for the older gentleman I woulda been pretty ticked. As we were waiting in line, he stepped to the side and told me to go ahead. I smiled and thanked him and bought my iced tea and was gone.

Some people need to learn the difference between an insult and a kind gesture. I wonder about the household she grew up in. Doesn't anybody do nice things just because anymore???

This entry was posted at Friday, January 08, 2010 and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .


That's scary. People don't expect good manners because they haven't any themselves. I can't imagine that girl doing something selfless. Too big a chip on her shoulder. But who knows where it came from? She's angry about something, I guess. I find that I am invisible and people walk into me, really as if I'm not there. What is that?!

January 8, 2010 at 4:20 PM

I can't but think that this new tech age is really disconnecting people. I feel sorry for her that your act , which I do find polite and kind, was interpretted as an act of hostility. Sad. I guess since I live in the south it is common to see a gentleman hold the door open for a lady or an elder.
Hmmmm upon second thought maybe her parents didn't raise her with manners...

January 8, 2010 at 5:13 PM

Well I don't think you have ANY reason to feel guilty for being nice. That person obviously has never done anything for someone else that not only was nice to them, but made her feel like a good person as well.

Keep being a nice person :)

January 8, 2010 at 5:46 PM

Tina...I'm a fairly big person and I get that sometimes too..people get to wrapped up in themselves to notice the rest of us I think.

Lisa Marie....I agree there is a big disconnect...And you know maybe she did get raised without being taught those little niceties that so many of us learn.

Kato....I think that if that girl did one thing nice, maybe it could change her perspective a little...They say good deeds are contagious..Maybe she will think about it next time..(I hope)

January 8, 2010 at 6:04 PM

I truly do not get it. This girl, young lady, witch, whatever we will call her, was totally out of line. I like it when people hold the door for me and I do not know anyone who would be insulted for such a nice gesture. I also hold doors for people, whether man, woman, cat, dog. Good for you for standing your ground. How I wish I had seen it. Glad the older man was able to hear what was going on! That was some pretty fast thinking! I would say two points for the good guys!

January 8, 2010 at 7:35 PM

The great part was that older fellow just ignored her and was a gracious as can be... He managed to put a smile on my face.. :)

January 8, 2010 at 8:07 PM
This comment has been removed by the author.
January 8, 2010 at 8:07 PM

Don't you worry, Ben, I always hold the door for people, young and old, male and female. Never make excuses for having good manners.

January 8, 2010 at 10:47 PM


Great post. This isn't being taught anymore! Keep doing those wonderful things, as it's very important.

A woman said a similar thing to me the other day when I held the door open for her... so I just walked in front of her, and allowed the door to shut on her ;-)

January 9, 2010 at 12:18 AM

Regardless of HER unappreciative arrogant, attitude, you did the right thing. The behavior of society today - especailly the young - appalls me. My grandchildren are taught to open doors and use manners and they better do it or they will get tapped from behind by me. There is nothing wrong with a little courtesy. We need more of it.

January 9, 2010 at 4:36 AM

You should have held the door closed so she couldn't get in!

January 9, 2010 at 11:26 PM

It's good to know chivalry isn't completely dead!

January 9, 2010 at 11:27 PM

Okaaaaaaaaaaaay. Some people are really on the defensive or have taken the word "femenist" to a whole new level!

Maybe she wasn't having a good day. Maybe she was projecting on how she was feeling inside.

Who knows? Maybe she was just being rude.

But chivalry is NOT dead! I would have been glad!

January 10, 2010 at 11:31 AM

I hate that. Its the younger generation as a whole. Not everyone's like that but the younger generation are just filled with too many assholes.

January 11, 2010 at 5:40 AM

When did we become the elders that need to be respected by the young whippersnappers?

January 11, 2010 at 4:18 PM

Lol..I don't look for respect exactly, but maybe a little bit of graciousness or understanding...they seem to be sorely lacking

January 11, 2010 at 8:33 PM

As a representant of the younger generation, I must defend it at least a little!

Some are rude, some are nice. Every generation is like that! Sometimes, we tend to embellish the past we reflect on.

January 12, 2010 at 4:26 PM

Well we might embellish, but about this I'm certain...There were far more people opening a door for someone else when I was in my 20's than now that I'm in my 40's ... It's becoming a lost custom and sometimes it's met with anger and irriation and that I can't understand....

January 12, 2010 at 4:37 PM

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